The Journal of Michael Bekker
by Ulquiorra9000
Summary: A Clan warrior may face many trials in his life, even in early sibko life. Michael Bekker knows this, and never backs down from a challenge, even when his Clan faces adversity, controversy, and upheaval in the Clan Invasion, the formation of the Ghost Bear Dominion, and beyond. These are the recollections of one Bear warrior with the scars of these events.
1. Chapter 1

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **A/N:** Star Colonel Michael Bekker is an OC I've had in my mind for a while, but I never wrote about him, only thought of a few details. Now, I want to explore his career as a Clan warrior, with all its triumphs and pain, bloodshed and honor.

 _ **Entry 1: May 14th, 3044**_

Today, I got a scar.

Allow me to back up a bit. This journal should serve as the perfect place to store my thoughts and recollections in my life. Yes, I do have a fully-functional codex. But a codex does not look into my very soul like a journal can. Few others in my sibko even bother to write anything down like this, let alone a dedicated journal. But I've always found myself... expressive.

Now: back to the matter at hand. My name is Michael, born on February 20th, 3028, here on Arcadia, in the House of Bekker. What makes me such an interesting soon-to-be warrior worth reading about? you may ask. That is yet to be fully determined, actually. I am only sixteen years old, but already, I have made a mark in my sibko. And my sibko has made marks on _me_.

That scar. Yes. I mentioned it first, because it stands out in my memory today. It still itches on my skin, even after medical treatment. How did I get it?

Today, during physical combat training, Star Commander Vlendir once again showed his sense of humor by pitting most of the cadets against each other based on what would cause the most commotion. Face your problems, he always tells us, and conquer them before they conquer you. His message is clear, even through his speech defect caused by a missing chunk of lower lip.

Today was a chilly day, with a stiff breeze coming from the mountains to the west. The blood ran hot, however, in my veins. As it did in my sibkin. Star Commander Vlendir would have no less. In that funny voice of his, he strode around the open ground in front of our barracks, the ground packed flat by stomping boots over the years. The flag of Clan Ghost Bear snapped in that breeze, like the snarling bear was encouraging me. I like to think that.

A handful of Circles of Equals were drawn, and bitter rivals stepped into them to face one another. Never friend against friend in _this_ sibko; Star Commander Vlendir. despite never earning his bloodname, hadn't retired from active duty until the age of thirty-seven. Quite a feat! He tells us every day that it is because he faced the fire of rivalry and pressure.

Can you guess, journal, who _my_ fiery rival is?

Candace.

 _Her_.

Over and over has she thrashed me in our sibko's training, and never failed to loudly boast of it. She, and a few others form this... group of thugs.. who seem to want to accelerate the process of weeding out potential warriors. Candace seems hell-bound to get me thrown out of training and into the merchant caste.

Today is the day. I stood opposite her in the Circle of Equals drawn into the hard dirt, twenty feet wide, a rather generous circle. Her eyes only showed contempt and scorn, and I tried to return the look. I am not sure whether I succeeded, but it did not matter once Star Commander blew his whistle and two dozen adolescent bodies crashed together into furious combat.

I clealy remember, in slow motion, how Candace took two steps toward me and executed that vicious roundhouse kick of hers. No matter how many times I attempt to block or evade that kick, she hits me with it. And today, I felt my ribs rattle when her boot hit me, and I was sent sprawling like some freeborn buffoon.

That breeze was toying with Candace's blonde ponytail as she towered over me, laughing. "How did a surat like you make it this far into training?" she said. I remember the words clearly. It is difficult to forget the feeling of Candace's voice grating on your ears.

I pushed myself off the ground and onto my feet, and I raised my fists. I said something to the effect of "I will prove you wrong, and you will pay for mocking me". At any rate, Candace's nasty smile widened, and I was sure that my words had fallen on deaf ears.

At that point, Candace assault me with her follow-up to a kick: hard jabs that attack you from unexpected angles. She has that effect, making your defenses feel too stiff and slow to properly react. The same applied here; I am still wincing as I write this, from her knuckles hammering my cheekbones, my jaw, my ribs, my shoulders. I was panting in the chilly air, my face hot as I weathered her assault.

I hit back.

Candace is made of stern stuff, to take the punch that I threw at her without wincing. I swear that my knuckles were more badly damaged from that blow than her ribs! And that distraction, that split second, is what Candace needed to strike me with a heel palm to stun me, and then knock me over once again.

At that point, Star Commander Vendir noticed my failings and barked his laughter. He said something like "perhaps Candace will test out as a warrior by standing on your broken corpse!" Suggesting that I am only a springboard for Candace's future success once she breaks me.

I got up, despite Candace's taunts, and hit her once again; this time, on the jaw, and I _know_ that she felt that one. She clapped a hand to her jaw and stared at me as though I suggested that she should frolick among freeborn children rather than train.

Then she let out a bellow and threw herself onto me without restraint. None at all; she hurt me all over, by any means she could manage. She bruised my face and cracked a rib. And when I attempted to push her off of me, she clawed me with her fingernails. Yes, that is right; she swiped me with her nails, which she claims will one day grow into a bear's claws, and drew a long cut on my right forearm. It bled more than I expected.

At that point, Star Commander Vlendir had pried Candace off of me and declared her the winner, and me, trash. The strangest part was when Candace was parted from me; her battle fury died in an instant, and she was back to her usual cool contempt and mockery, as though nothing had happened.

The cut on my forearm proved otherwise.

I will only be in the medical ward for a few days while my rib mends and the bruises start to fade, but it is that scar that made the biggest impression on me. Is savage victory the only thing that Candace craves? How did the same sibko produce her and I? I do not understand! Why is she in my sibko, and not tormenting cadets in some Smoke Jaguar sibko instead? There, she would be typical, and not a mere beast.

It is the will of Jorgensson and Tseng that we are patient, we are indestructible, and we strike in fury when our opponent draws too near. But Candace, and her friends... they are not in line with such ideas. I am only thankful that Star Commander Vlendir only extends his "rivalry" strategy to physical combat and training, so you can see the flaming rivalry in someone's eyes. In a BattleMech, that is not so true.

That is fortunate, because I have 'Mech training next week.

I will not allow any more scars to form, journal. I will not. I promise this as I finish writing this and close the covers.

I will not.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 2: May 18th, 3044**_

Good evening, journal. Is that how I should address you? I have few precedents for this; many of the merchant and laborer castes, and their families, keep journals; I have heard of such things before. Some deride me for this, but remarkably, Candace has not said a thing of it, nor tried to steal or damage it. This is fortunate. She would no doubt challenge me to a Circle of Equals over its contents, and I do not relish the idea of facing her any more often than Star Commander Vlendir demands.

My scar is healing, but it leaves a distinct white line along my forearm, about six centimeters long. To think that my first scar was inflicted by a fingernail! During sibko training! Perhaps, if I join the warrior caste, this is one scar I will _not_ share tales of. I would rather that I collect no more if possible, but if I do, I pray that they are born or proper battle. Not an overzealous sibkin.

It still baffles me how Candace was not born into the Smoke Jaguars or Jade Falcons.

A thunderstorm is moving in, journal. All morning, I heard the rumble of thunder as anvil-shaped clouds gathered (the tradtional shape of thunderheads) in the west, moving toward my training center with frightening speed. A damp, strong breeze picked up by 1100 hours and stubbornly kept blowing, and the trees' leaves rattled and hissed. The whole forest on my camp's edge seemed agitated, but Star Commander Vlendir was not.

I joined the line of cadets once Star Commander Vlendir barked at us for his attention. Behind him, the Ghost Bear flag snapped and whipped around in the wind, an early warning of the storm. Meanwhile, Star Commander Vlendir outlined today's exercise: a retrieval mission. No ordinary retrieval mission; a race. "Two dogs and one bone," as he put it. Someone chuckled at the metaphor; the Star Commander's eyes shut him up.

Vlendir did not explain any further, but instead ordered us to the 'Mech bays. Now, _this_ is a sight that I do not tire of! Many training 'mechs, typically lights and a few low-end mediums, stand with their backs to the bay walls in two rows that face each other. I am always impressed by the tall scaffolding that the technicians use to repair and modify our mounts. We all changed into the proper cooling vests and boots and shorts. I felt goosebumps form, but the heat of battle would change that soon enough.

Candace gave me a shove as I reached my assigned 'Mech. "Try not to get your ass shot out from under you, surat," she told me. Once again, her grating voice imprints itself clearly in my memory! I told her to make sure that the same does not happen to _her_ , and she only declined to challenge me to a Circle of Equals because she was looking forward to this even more than I was.

As Candace climbed the ladder to her 'Mech, I found another sibkin I failed to mention: Quentin. He is not like Candace, who a berserker, but instead he has a quiet intensity that, I think, will propel him further along a MechWarrior career than any animal fury would. He said little during our years of training together and seemed to resent anything spoken to him that did not relate to his betterment as a warrior. He is a laser beam, shooting straight to the target and not diverting from its path by a single micrometer. Candace is a hastily-fired SRM volley.

I still do not know what possessed me to speak to Quentin then; maybe I felt the pressure to retaliate against Candace for the ridiculous scar she gave me last week, and I needed a sounding board. "She will regret making me her rival today," I told him.

Quentin gave me a sharp look over his shoulder but said nothing. I already saw the resentment that he always showed when he was diverted from whatever thoughts raced through his head. I get the impression that he makes up for his silences with constantly berating himself mentally to improve. He does not need Star Commander Vlendir to push him; he pushes _himself_ , and who knows you better than you?

I am not certain that this is the case, though. Perhaps he merely detests social business because he does not like people. Equally likely.

"You are wasting your time, talking to that toad," one of the girls in my sibko teased me. Her friends laughed.

A lot of people tease Quentin, too. Not once has he ever risen to the bait, whether by words or a mock Trial of Grievance.

Disciplined to the last.

My 'Mech is a _Kit Fox_ prime, and I savored the feeling of its relatively large engine under me as I activated all systems. ER large laser, small pulse laser, Streak SRM 4, LBX-5 autocannon. I have used this configuration before, and I feel like the spirit of the Ghost Bear is watching over me every time. I have also piloted the _Firemoth_ , _Adder_ , and _Jenner IIC_ 'Mechs over the past year, but they feel like a bucking, unwilling animal under me. But the _Kit Fox_... it may be the Jade Falcons' pride among light 'Mechs, but do not call me unfaithful to the Bears when I say that I share the birds' affinity for this machine.

And its affinity for me.

Oh, and I should note that this training exercise was meant not only to test our capacity to complete an objective, but to test future leadership material. Suffice to say that I was merely a Point for this excursion. Our entire Sibko neatly formed two rival Binaries, and Star Commander Vlendir prompty named Quentin as my Binary's Star Captan. No surprise there; as much as I envy Quentin, his methods produce results again and again. A few, such as Candace, think that he will "burn out" like a blue giant star. Whether or not that ends up true, he is near the top of our sibko, if not at the very zenith.

Candace, meanwhile, is a Point in the opposing Binary. Good; I would not want to cooperate with someone like her. And this way, I have a chance to strike her down, even if all our 'Mechs are using underpowered weapons. Long have we moved on from mere simulators; nothing replaces the hot metal that surrounds us in a proper 'Mech! On occasion, someone will die in this sibko or any other sibko across the Clans training like this. So be it. I will take those risks. What else is there?

There was not much worth telling of the exercise's first twenty minutes, except that the thunderstorm crept into our area of operations. It is raining hard as I write this, but earlier today, I merely experienced scattered raindrops tickling my 'Mech. Visibility was still close to 90%, even with the thunderheads blocking the sun. I remember seeing forked lightning in the distance, but there was no chance of it hitting anyone's 'Mech. Yet.

Quentin spread his two Stars wide across a series of hills dotted with spruces, radars on passive mode. Eyes only for now; Quentin was often a conservative warrior. But I have seen him unleash all his conserved energies for one last strike, whether in the Circle of Equals, simulators, or live-fire exercises. I looked foward to seeing when and how that moment would manifest.

The rain came down a bit harder, but that did not slow down our Binary. I moved with a steady hand and mind, and I knew that if I operated well under Quentin's command like this, perhaps Star Commander Vlendir would retain me as Quentin's subordinate. I could only flourish under Quentin's command, until the day comes when I am fit for such a thing.

Some, like the Jade Falcons or Smoke Jaguars or Ice Hellions, would sooner die than acknowledge the need for partnership. They are fools, all of them!

Strength is not born in a vacuum.

I finally discovered what my objective was: to allow a 'Mech from my Binary to reach a small, abandoned bunker and pick up a red flag and return it to the barracks and drop it in a square that had been drawn into the dirt there earlier. I had not known the square's purpose then, but now I did.

That flag was mine.

Quentin moved our Binary toward the bunker with his usual patience and precision. Not one 'Mech's foot moved where he did not will it, and I can only imagine the hot stress in Quentin's mind as his Binary neared the objective... and the rival Binary.

Sometimes I am glad to _not_ be him. Yet.

The resulting battle was far too chaotic to recall blow-by-blow; suffice it to tell you, journal, that the gloomy, rainy afternoon glowed with depowered lasers, the muzzle flashes of autocannons, and the orange fireballs of missiles. I felt myself slipping a little bit from Quentin's desired precision, but my shots found their marks. Take, for example, an _Adder_ that challenged me. Whoever was piloting it was clearly flustered, and his or her shots tended to set the trees around me on fire rather than strip away my armor.

Let me say that when my lasers and LBX-5 relieved that _Adder_ of its right arm, the pilot retreated into the forest. Similarly, the rest of Quentin's Binary asserted dominance over the battlefield, and we made a move for the flag. However, the _Viper_ that he sent was felled by my enemies, and I cannot describe my eagerness for when Quentin ordered me to complete the objective.

Candace was there, too.

Her _Arctic Cheetah_ -C was barely scratched from battle, and let me tell you, I could see why: she moved like a dervish, and having four ER medium lasers and two medium pulses suited her aggressive ways. My _Kit Fox_ 's armor felt the same way as she opened fire, weaving back and forth between trees.

I have to say, though, that serving under Quentin gives you an odd clarity of mind. I, too, maneuvered through the forest to match Candace, and my Streak SRMs blew away most of her torso armor. I clearly recall all the smoke and sparks coming from her damaged internal systems, and the thrill that I felt as I pushed her further than ever before.

I also remember firing my lasers and missing. Badly.

At that point, Candace's _Arctic Cheetah_ blew off my arm with its medium pulse lasers, and by the Founders, her medium lasers were coring my 'Mech faster than I thought possible. My ears are still ringing as I write this from all the alarms in my cockpit.

I hit her with my LBX-5, but that made little difference; another laser volley toasted my gyro, and I went down. Freebirth! I felt this sick thrill of vertigo as I fell, and it is all I can do now not to throw back my head and roar in anger. But I cannot; not only am I not an animal like Candace, but it is late now, and some of my sibkin are settling in for the night or reviewing training manuals. I will not disturb them like that.

Candace's Binary claimed the flag after a protracted battle that I was forced to watch from the cockpit of my fallen _Kit Fox._ A retrieval team would collect me, and other fallen warriors, later, but the battle is what is important here. Candace felled another of my Starmates until her 'Mech was finally taken down in flames. Candace was unhurt aside from a few bruises, like me, but she has less reason to complain than I do.

Quentin, on the outside, took it in stride when he lost. He believes that he merely has to re-analyze his tactics and better adjust for terrain and weather in the next battle tomorrow. At least, I presume that he is thinking these things, for he has not said a word out loud since coming back to the barracks. That is typical Quentin, and I will not complain.

Star Commander Vlendir, meanwhile, is going to review our Battle ROMs soon and evaluate us, and reorganize our Binaries for next time. I pray that I remain in Quentin's Binary and oppose Candace once again. I need that. I need it dearly, and perhaps I _will_ roar in the barracks if I do not have it that way.

I am not an animal, like Candace is.

I am determined.

But now, it is late, and I feel the fatigue in my muscles and mind alike. Over to my right, Quentin is already snoring; he sleeps a lot, probably to recharge that strained mind of his. His back is to me; I cannot tell if he rests easy or not.

I will not neglect you, journal. Every week, at minimum, I shall write. How many entries will there be? Let us find out together.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 49: June 6th, 3045**_

I apologize, journal, for neglecting to write an entry for the last few weeks. I am seventeen years old, after all; the last three years of training are the most formative, as Star Commander Vlendir reminded us in February. Our Trial of Position, set for February 3048, will be the job interview for the rest of my life, whether that life lasts two years or thirty more beyond that. "The pressure is on", as some of my sibkin put it.

Ever since my first entry, three more cadets have washed out. Blake, for example, who was injured when he failed a live-fire exercise. I believe that he was sent to the scientist caste. Or Julia, who now works as a technician in a second-line unit.

I endure, as the spirit of the Bear wills it. And today, let me tell you, that spirit is going to be tested!

It is warm today, low humidity, a light breeze coming from the north. My bootsteps kicked up dust as I marched to the 'Mech hangar with my fellows for today's exercise. I expected Quentin to join me, of course, and his surly expression and tight jaw assured me that his intense mind was formulating a plan. He has proven himself a ristar, and being near him fills me with courage.

I am also joined by Lukas in my Star. I am not fond of callsigns, but if I were to give him one, it would be "Lucky". I do not joke when I say that Lukas' 'Mechs seem to save their pilot from danger and defeat as though they could think for themselves. Does Lukas have killer instincts that only come alive when he is in serious danger? Or is it truly a string of coincidence and circumstances that Lukas survives everything?

The universe is strange sometimes.

Lukas likes to boast lightly and joke, something that bothers most of my sibkin, but another of my Starmates, Ursina, indulges him. She was named after the Bear because she showed incredible promise in our early years (at least, that is what Star Commander Vlendir told us). She is merely average now, and below me in combat ability, but she follows orders well, and her friendship with Lukas seems to spur her on. I know that they frequently sleep together; I wonder what they talk about, or whether their bodies do all the talking. Everyone is different in that way.

All I know is that I would rather be locked in a room for a week with the chatty Lukas and Ursina than have Candace as my Starmate.

Which is the case.

Journal, everything I have said until now is true; Candace is a wild one, and should she ever be taken as a bondsman, the Smoke Jaguars would welcome her into their warrior caste as though she had been there all along. Even as I write this, I still ache from her thrashing me in the melee Circles of Equals, and I have bested her perhaps a single-digit number of times since I started keeping this journal! By the Founders, how she tests me!

And recently, Star Commander Vlendir has seen fit to somehow draw us together and see what happens. Is this another of the Star Commander's cruel games? Candace will surely end me if the Star Commander continues to enable this!

So I will prove otherwise. I envision Jorgensson and Tseng alone in the cold wilderness when the Ghost Bears found them, and their legendary endurance defies whatever nonsense Candace will inflict on me. It is the way of the Clan.

Now. The exercise. You must be wondering, journal, how it turned out?

The two sparring Binaries were missing one or two warriors each, but otherwise, they function well. Star Commander Vlendir slowly and steadily rotates cadets through their ranks, and today, I stepped out of the 'Mech hangar in my usual _Kit Fox_ prime, and Candace's _Arctic Cheetah-_ C was on my left flank. What a strange sight; I clearly recall looking at her gun muzzles and thinking _How many times has she tortured me with them?_

Lukas, Ursina, and Quentin complete my Star. It has been this way for a few weeks now, but Candace is the new addition. Lukas filled the comm with his usual jokes that Candace is more of a cheetah than her 'Mech is, while Ursina chuckled and Quentin responded with a disciplined silence that always assures me. Candace, meanwhile, deliberately bumped her 'Mech's arm into mine.

Yes, you read that correctly, journal! Today, she jostled my 'Mech on purpose!

"Try and keep up with me, little Michael," she teased me today over the comm. "Can you handle that, surat?"

I should mention that I stand eleven centimeters taller than her and weigh eight more kilograms.

I gave her a token response and waited for Quentin's orders.

Then came the surprise, dear journal: we won.

To be more precise, Quentin's Binary employed its usual tactics of fanning out with passive sensors and trying to isolate one enemy Star in a pincer maneuver while making use of terrain to mask our intentions. True, the other enemy Star caught on and rushed to counter our tactic, but the first few minutes of the battle belonged to us.

And when I say _us_ , I mean that Candace led the charge, all lasers firing, and I covered her back.

How often had Candace bruised and belittled me in the Circle of Equals? I cannot give the number, but it felt... unimportant, and distant, as our light 'Mechs engaged the enemy in that forested valley. I sustained serious damage, but I did not dare back down, not with Candace watching. My lasers and missiles punished a _Viper_ that got too close, and as I write this, I remember the fireworks of Candace's lasers slaying it. The pilot, when rescued later, apparently let loose a long stream of slurs against Candace and I.

I wish I could have heard it.

Lukas and Ursina took on fire-support roles, merely engaging the enemy Binary's backup forces in traditional duels to allow Candace and I to push onwards. It was thrilling, to hear Lukas' silly comments transition to awe for what I was able to accomplish today! Even Ursina seemed spurred to new heights, and her _Firemoth_ performed better than I had ever seen it. And Quentin, who was already allowed a _Stormcrow_ prime, knew better than to get in my or Candace's way.

And then, as I explained earlier, victory was ours.

I am grinning to myself as I write this next passage, journal. In retrospect, it is quite amusing. Back in the 'Mech bay, once we dismounted our battle-worn 'Mechs, Candace joined me and folded her arms. She said something like "I finally get to see what warrior-Michael looks like. At last, you do not disappoint me!"

I retorted that whatever my failings in the melee Circle of Equals may be, the spirit of the Ghost Bear is alive in me, and on a more mundane level, perhaps I am simply better suited to BattleMech combat than martial arts. Indeed, some famous warriors in our Clan's past have been conspicuously more skilled at one than the other.

Candace merely laughed; not at me, but _with_ me. I could not tell the difference at the time. Then, to my greater surprise, she acknowledged my skill, and stated her eagerness to fight alongside me again in 'Mech exercises.

I scoffed, journal. I certainly scoffed. I had little doubt that this was a trick to make me lower my guard, but Candace refuted my claims of such. Instead, she repeated her approval of me and... this is where the tale becomes very amusing... she invited me back to her bunk for coupling to mark this new milestone of ours.

I scoffed again.

"Very well," Candace had said. She turned and walked away, and she had made a point to do so in a suggestive manner. I stood there, watching her go, and some great weight shifted in my mind at once.

Perhaps her offer was worth a try?

I should mention, journal, that I am writing this in Candace's bunk. She is asleep in the bunk bed next to me right now. I am seated at her desk, telling you what transpired today... and what intriguing changes were made. I am sore right now; not from the 'Mech exercise, but the coupling afterwards. Candace is still an animal, I insist, and that includes what happens between her sheets.

She is more a Jaguar than a Bear on the inside. But she had my back in combat today, and I am sure that Star Commander Vlendir made a note of that. I should expect more of this in the future.

It is not something that I dread.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 204: February 20, 3048**_

I am sore and exhausted, journal, as I write in you this evening. I suppose you can guess why that is, quiaff?

I am a warrior.

This day dawned like any other, but we of my sibko, the remaining nine of us, did not report to the usual training grounds for the Circles of Equals training field, nor the lecture halls, nor the usual forested valley where we drilled in Binary operations. Star Commander Vlendir certainly had an air of muted excitement and stern expectations as he motioned for us to join him in a waiting VTOL. It was quite a sight to see that craft idling in the middle of our training camp, its rotors kicking up dust.

It took maybe two hours to fly to the Trial of Position battleground, but it felt much longer than that as I looked out the window of that VTOL, watching the pine forests and rivers pass far below me. No one spoke much in there; we were all wrapped up in our own thoughts, you see. Not even Candace or Lukas had any smart-mouth things to say, and Quentin had wrapped himself in a veritable cloak of stubborn silence. I imagine that he was running a thousand battle scenarios in his mind for his own Trial, and given that supercomputer brain of his, it would surely pay off.

I merely did my best to keep my breakfast in line.

Now, the training fields that I used at the camp had grown familiar to me; fallen trees, rocky hills, that winding river where I had once tripped over a boulder (I dearly wish that I was jesting about that), the positions of the mountains in the distance... all gone. Now a proper battle waited for me, with proper 'Mechs! I could never decide whether excitement, anxiety, stress, cautious hope, or terror would dominate my mind. It felt like they had all taken turns.

Star Commander Vlendir had led us across the tarmac of the heliport and to an impressive facility. In fact, that is where I am now, journal; the warrior quarters of the facility's west wing. This place has many Ghost Bear personnel in pressed uniforms, and the atmosphere is infectuous here. Truly, my Clan's highest caste makes its mark here!

I apologize for straying. You must want to know about the Trial, journal. It started just the way I imagined: the nine of us were led into the enormous 'Mech hangar, where OmniMechs of all four weight classes waited for us. Another officer, Star Captain Jerome Tseng, received us, a beefy man with these slate-gray eyes and short black hair like mine. Not much color, but his deep and strong voice left no doubt that this was our biggest moment of our lives.

"You will select a 'Mech of any type you wish, bearing in mind the factors of mobility, firepower, and armor," he told us. It is easy to remember what he said, even in a surreal moment like that. "Every 'Mech is already set to the proper comm channel. From there, I will guide you to the testing area with further instructions."

Those instructions were simple but demanding: the nine of us fanned out, two hundred meters apart from each other, not allowed to move. Then, Star Captain Tseng explained that each of us had three opponents assigned to us. We were not allowed to fire on anyone else's targets, or the _entire Trial_ would become a massive free-for-all. And by the Founders, journal, I did not want that any more than the others did!

"You will battle each of your opponents one at a time, as zellbrigen demands," Star Captain Tseng had said in the comm. "Defeat none, and you will fail to enter the warrior caste at all. Defeat one, and you will graduate to the warrior caste as a Point. Defeat the second as well, and you will receive the rank of Star Commander. Should you defeat all three, you will receive the rank of Star Captain."

Imagine entering the warrior caste with a Binary or Trinary under your command already! I had faith in myself, to be sure, but I did not wish to test the odds of defeating my third opponent like that. I had the feeling, though, that at least one of the other trainees would graduate with a commanding rank.

Very well, I shall tell you now, journal: Quentin indeed defeated his second opponent in his _Stormcrow_ prime, and he is now Star Commander Quentin. And yes, I am in his Star. Exactly as I had hoped!

As soon as Star Captain Tseng gave the word, I proceeded and found a patch of the large battlefield where I could operate on my own and prepare to fight alone. I could see my fellows go in other directions to face their own foes, and I prepared for the fact that I might not see all of them join me in the induction ceremony later.

I piloted a _Nova_ -B, a medium 'Mech with an ultra-autocannon 5, large pulse laser, and ER small laser. I have long since nursed an affinity for medium 'Mechs with effective mobility, as does Quentin. That is to say, Star Commander Quentin. I must get used to that.

My first foe was a _Mad Dog_ prime. I had never encountered one of these designs on the battlefield, though I was familiar with the chassis from my studies. At once, I knew how to strike: at its LRM launchers, which are easy to see on its torso. And easy to hit.

I already surrendered 10 tons to my first opponent, I know, but consider this: the hostile pilots for this Trial were ordinary warriors of the Ghost Bear touman, volunteers who gave their time to test us. They would not fight me with desperation or savagery, but only to show me what true battle is.

As I explained earlier, journal, I aimed for the _Mad Dog_ 's large LRM launchers. You see, I employed a fast, erratic approach to my opponent, making use of the hills and copses of pine trees along the way to minimize exposure. That _Mad Dog_ had taken a few pot shots with those LRM launchers, but let me tell you, those warheads only blew up the terrain while I watched through my cockpit canopy.

I got myself under 500 meters in good time and aimed for the left LRM launcher. It had seemed that the pilot did not expect that, and he did nothing to protect his launcher. The ultra-autocannon fires fast, and that, with my lasers, destroyed the left LRM launcher. The whole _Mad Dog_ buckled and stumbled around like a wounded animal, and the pulse lasers that the pilot had fired back missed by a considerable margin.

Then he surprised me: the other LRM 20 fired despite the heat load, and I lost a good deal of armor from my center and right torsos. I could hardly even see through all the smoke and flame! Let me assure you that I found enough cover after that to resume my strategy. That _Mad Dog_ pilot caught on to my trick and tried to protect his other LRM launcher, but with enough time, I destroyed it, too. Then it was a medium-range duel, and despite the damage that the _Mad Dog_ dealt to my torso and arms, my own weapons breached his right torso entirely and wrecked his XL engine.

Just a few more shots ruined that 'Mech. It was such a relief, journal, to see the smoke plume of the pilot's ejection seat! I also had mixed feelings; did I proceed to my next foe now and attempt the rank of Star Commander, or did I stand down and avoid the risks?

My bunkmate Candace has influenced me much over the last three years.

The next opponent was a _Hellbringer_ prime, a 65-tonner with all sorts of weapons. I had felt the Ghost Bear's spirit watching over me as I advanced on it, and my weapons chipped away at his armor while I maintained my mobility. For the first few minutes, the duel seemed to be mine!

Not so, alas. I pride myself in my balanced mobility and precise firing, but I was starting to slip, and it was enough for the _Hellbringer_ to blow my right arm clean off. I cannot even describe the alarming shift in weight and how urgently I fought the controls to stay balanced.

In all fairness, I destroyed his right arm, but I was too badly damaged from the _Mad Dog._ That _Nova-_ B is in the 'Mech repair hangar right now, I admit, seeing how my opponent finished me with his lasers and SRMs. I had ejected just in time, as the _Mad Dog_ pilot did, and I had managed to process my disappointment by the time I was retrieved and returned to the testing facility.

I am a Point in the Clan Ghost Bear touman. Let that fact never die.

I am also compelled to inform you that Lukas did not survive his own Trial of Position.

Candace and I had a considerable argument after that fact. I, for one, had valued Lukas' refeshing energy during battle to lift our spirits, even if his combat skills were mediocre among us. Candace does not feel that way; she, and some of the other graduates, insist that the results speak purely for themselves. After all, that is the Trial's purpose, quiaff?

Aff, it is, I told her earlier this evening, but perhaps we should not be too dismissive of Lukas' memory. All our Battle ROMs were viewable, and Lukas, as it turned out, had been killed instantly when his second opponent, a _Summoner_ prime, had landed an unlikely shot in Lukas' cockpit.

Whether or not the pilot had aimed there deliberately is not clear (I, for one, doubt it), but either way, Lukas was summarily snuffed out. Lukas had perished attempting the same thing that I had. I openly wished that he had been content with his first opponent's defeat and stood down. Ursina said the same thing (she graduated as a Point like me), and her expression made her gratitude for my opinion clear.

Candace was certainly exasperated by my somber attitude, and she feels that I am bringing a weakness of spirit to the Clan's touman. I denied it. She only scoffed at me again, and we went our separate ways for the night. Suffice it to say, journal, that we did not share a bunk after our hard-won victory today. Candace has often been dismissive of others, but this time, her attiude seemed... like a transgression. What sort of Starmates would we make?

And Quentin, as usual, showed no opinion or thought either way. He had obtained what he wanted: a command. He gave this day's Trial no further thought, instead retreating to his bunk for yet another brainstorming session, muttering intensely to himself. As I write this, he is still doing it.

Forgive me. These thoughts are still fresh in my mind, thus the need to record them before I forget the magnitude of eveything that transpired today. I am sure that I will reconcile all these facts and emotions before my first real assignment.

But that does not mean that I will forget Lukas.

Or that Candace and I are allies, but do not share the same soul.

I must finish today's entry now, journal, and rest. This is the first day of my career in the warrior caste. What awaits me in my future in the touman? I will soon have the answers.

Whether or not I like them.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 205: February 25, 3048**_

The Rite of Maturity is already over, journal, having been completed since I last wrote in your pages. I won my Trial of Position on my 20th birthday, I know, but _this_ is when I was formally inducted to my Clan's warrior caste. A few days have passed since then, but let me tell you, I am still coming to terms with my excitement and eagerness to serve! I was literally born for this duty, my genes arranged for the best pattern to reach this status.

And here it is.

I may repeat my excitement in the coming entries, journal, for it is great.

There is more to it than that, however. Every Clan is restless nowadays, given the shifting opinions of the Grand Council. Now that I have joined the warrior caste, I am more privy to information such as this. For years, apparently, there has been talk about finally launching a proper invasion of the faraway Inner Sphere and its Great Houses.

Let me tell you, I could write in you until my hand broke in half on this topic! I am no expert on inter-Clan politics or the "big picture" of military movements. But it is impossible to avoid this intoxicating atmosphere of potential war. Not the feuds and raids between rival Clans; the invasion that the Crusaders have waited decades for! More on this later. I have more interesting news.

It did not take long for the other sibko graduates and I to join the Ghost Bear touman. Can you guess where I ended up, journal? Alas, not Alpha Galaxy (The Golden Bears). But I have still found myself in a prestigious place: Beta Galaxy.

Known as the Night Howlers, this is quite some unit! We of Beta Galaxy serve under Laurie Tseng, a truly remarkable woman who also serves as our Clan's Loremaster. Should the invasion of the Inner Sphere launch, I will surely see action with the Night Howlers, given their prestigious status.

Now, I cannot hold myself back any longer: my unit is the 32nd Assault Cluster, the second most powerful unit in Beta Galaxy. Indeed, my dear journal! I write in you while I lay on my bunk in the Cluster's garrison here on Arcadia, and seeing the Night Howlers' banner everywhere makes my heart swell with pride. My imagination has latched firmly on that silhouette of a Ghost Bear howling while a full moon looms behind it.

Many warriors here have that logo tattooed on their shoulders, upper back, or chest. Perhaps I might do the same? Ursina and Candace are giving it serious thought, at any rate.

My commanding officer of the 32nd Assault Cluster is Star Colonel Ivan DelVillar, a surprisingly slender man with shaggy brown hair and deep-set eyes. What surprised me most about him when I first met him was his gentle voice, almost as though soothing someone in the medical ward. At first, Candace and a few others underestimated his resolve and strength, and he quickly showed them otherwise! Star Colonel DelVillar sniffed out their contempt at once and asked if any of us cubs had the courage to face him in a Circle of Equals.

Candace did not enter the circle, mainly because another graduate, Thonn, stepped up first.

I am still not entirely sure what Thonn's motive was, journal. I gave it some thought; was he actually conceited enough to think that he could prey on a Star Colonel who had a soft voice? Was he overeager to make a good impression right away? Or did he only need to blow off steam? That last reason is the most relatable to me; there is certainly pressure to perform and show courage here in Beta Galaxy.

Star Colonel DelVillar motioned for us all to join him in a spare storage room, where his soft voice changed instantly to a sharp roar. I remember the chills down my spine when his voice switched to the bear's cry. In that instant, I knew that Thonn had made a serious mistake, but Thonn could not possibly back down without a serious blow to his honor.

Candace, too, had been shocked, and she later confided in me that she had been grateful that Thonn had entered the Circle instead of her. I shared her sentiment; she is my opposite and my rival, but I would not want to see her humiliated and possibly broken by the Star Colonel.

Someone found a large piece of white chalk and with it, drew a circle into which Thonn and DelVillar stepped. Many warriors of the Assault Cluster gathered in that room to watch.

I can hardly even describe what happened in there, journal. Thonn had proved a skilled melee fighter during training, and Star Commander Vlendir had taken note of that. But clearly, Star Colonel DelVillar's fifteen-odd years of active duty proved that Thonn, and my other peers, were relatively untested bear cubs, fresh from our mothers' den. Thonn landed perhaps two good blows before the Star Colonel pummeled him and pinned him to the floor. I can clearly recall the strain on Thonn's face as the Star Colonel drew his arm back at a harsh angle.

"Do you challenge my right to command any further, bear cub?" Star Colonel DelVillar had asked loudly.

Thonn's face had been red as a beet when he answered, "Neg, Star Colonel!"

The Star Colonel then asked Thonn if his loyalty was true, that he knew his place, and that he knew the difference between a mere Point and a Bloodnamed warrior.

Thonn had answered "Aff!" to all questions. As I would have, too. And Candace. And all of us.

Most interesting was how DelVillar's voice had returned to its soft tone as soon as the Trial of Grievance was over. In that same tone, he rotated the warriors of my Trinary around a little, and Thonn ended up as my fifth Starmate alongside Candace, Ursina, and Star Commander Quentin. It was implied that Quentin and I, being the most calm and collected newcomers, would keep Thonn in line, "just in case."

I cannot argue with the Star Colonel's reasoning.

I have a thousand more impressions, journal, but I can hardly record them all here today. I am exhausted from my new duties, but let me assure you, I shall tell you more in the coming weeks. And as I described earlier, the Grand Council is more active than it ever has been (again, by what I heard from the older warriors) and that promises an explosive start to my career in Beta Galaxy.

Until next week, journal.

 _ **Entry 252: January 10, 3049**_

It has been decided, dear journal.

Operation REVIVAL is about to be underway.

Months of low-level clashes against Clans Smoke Jaguar and Hell's Horses will soon pale compared to what is in my future! I am smiling as I write this, and right now, if I look up, I can see the warriors of my Trinary still acting out today's festivities.

What festivities, you ask?

I will spare you the very fine details, journal, but the seventeen Clans bidded passionately with each other for the outstanding honor of joining the invasion, and of course, Clan Ghost Bear achieved that right. How could it not? We are mighty! Once we launch the invasion, the bear's howl will echo throughout the universe!

We will march alongside Clans Jade Falcon, Wolf, and Smoke Jaguar. I detest the Jaguars and their bloodthirsty arrogance, but they are certainly effective warriors, and I have little doubt that their performance in the Inner Sphere will encourage us Bears to keep pace.

I apologize; I am getting ahead of myself. Ever since Clan Ghost Bear won the right to join the invasion, all of its warriors have competed in games of speed, strength, and strategy to celebrate and warm ourselves up to the coming battles. Myself included, of course. I am on Strana Mechty as I write this, and here, we Bears outdid ourselves in various sports.

In particular, I played soccer in a friendly but fierce game against the warriors of our Cluster's second Trinary. Both Trinaries performed well, and I personally scored a goal. Elsewhere, other warriors hunted in the wilds, feasted in dining halls, and showed off their Great Works (I have explained Great Works before, quiaff?) Some of those Great Works took my breath away, such as life-like sculptures or charcoal drawings in a level of detail I had once thought impossible. I shall begin creating my own Great Work someday, but not now. I want more career experiences to draw upon first.

Candace, too, thrived in the atmosphere of competition and bravado, and after our victory in soccer, we at once retreated to this bunker for our own private celebration. I have never felt closer to her than now, and our coupling was equally tender. I predict, however, that our fierce rivalry will resume once we invade the Inner Sphere. Our relationship certainly waxes and wanes, but for now, it is a full moon.

One more item of note before I finish this entry, dear journal: six parties of warriors departed for the Clawing Ritual during the celebrations. For this ritual, warriors brave the arctic wilderness armed only with spears and survival equipment and must hunt wild Ghost Bears. Most fail to slay one, and a few even die in the attempt.

My hand still shakes with incredulity as I write this: four of the parties returned, and twoGhost Bears were brought back. Two!

This is no doubt an omen, journal. The Ghost Bear's spirit is with us. Jorgensson's and Tseng's legacy is at its fullest, on the eve of the invasion. You know me well by now, journal; I have walked a fine line between Warden and Crusader ever since joining the Ghost Bear touman, but as things stand now, I certainly anticipate the invasion. The Crusaders have the day, and I count myself among their number.

Some warriors in the touman are more Warden-leaning, and they have some doubts of the invasion's merits. Candace and Thonn scoff, but Quentin gives the Wardens' view serious thought, and perhaps I should, too. Ursina, meanwhile, is undecided. She seems to have trouble deciding who her role models are.

I am weary and incredibily alive at the same time, journal, and it is an odd feeling indeed. For now, I must say good-night and find rest. The 32nd Assault Cluster stands ready, and I am no different.

May Khan Bourjon lead us to glory!


	6. Chapter 6

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 276: August 21, 3049**_

I realize that my entries to you, journal, have been sparse in the last few months. It is for the same reason as I stated in my last entry: during the long trek to the Inner Sphere, relatively little happens. The Clan Ghost Bear fleet is advancing on schedule, to be sure, but more than ever, I have come to appreciate how empty space really is.

In fact, I just felt a shiver of intrigue as I write this. This is the same area of space that General Aleksandr's exodus fleet traversed after the Amaris Civil War, and if his legendary Star League fleet could endure this trek, so can I and my fellow Clansmen. This test of patience is the same that Kerensky's men faced, and I relish the challenge, even if the challenge often consists of "review BattleROM data and random The Remembrance passages in my bunk".

Unlike the General's fleet, however, Clan Ghost Bear's great invasion armada perfectly knows its destination and purpose. But even here, impatience and the stress of remaining inside confining walls is having an effect. I have never been claustrophobic, but some of the other warriors, mainly the Elementals, lash out. Earlier today, I heard the terrific sound of two Elementals brawling outside my door after they grew weary of this confinement. Other warriors have gotten into unregulated fights as well, often over petty reasons such as imagined mockery or refusing to make room in the narrow hallways while passing each other.

My Star is still cohesive and calm, for the most part. Star Commander Quentin actually loves this chance for constant meditation and strategy brainstorming, and I am almost certain that I saw him smile once.

Oh, how Quentin will love the battlegrounds of the Inner Sphere!

And I am happy to report that Candace, while accepting the biggest number of Circle of Equals sparring challenges, is still in good spirits, often idly asking me what sort of 'Mech she should use in our first battle. Perhaps a brawler, to see the Inner Sphere barbarians up close as they die? Or an LRM-heavy machine, or a sniper? She cannot decide. Neither can I.

And we often chatter about other, less important topics as we lay in our bunk together after our nightly coupling.

I can say no more today, journal. May the Bear find its prey worthy in the coming weeks!

 _ **Entry 289: September 26, 3049**_

This entry shall be much different than the last few, journal, for I have fought the barbarians today.

Well... of a sort. We are now in the Periphery, the small states that cling to the Inner Sphere's edges. We are so close to our proper targets! The _Bear's Den_ , this mighty ship, arrived to populated space today.

Of course, we are not alone in this. The other three Clans found other targets as well, and news spread quickly of their absurdly easy victories.

The exception, apparently, was Von Strang's World. Khan Elias Crichell of Clan Jade Falcon personally led his men onto the world, and a regiment of BattleMechs faced them there. I only heard general details, but it would seem that the Jade Falcons slew the barbarian defenders after a well-fought battle. Now the Jade Falcons are blooded, and they seem to be in good spirits. In fact, I heard that the birds hung up the barbarian leader's body on a flagpole! Right under the flags of the Star League and Clan Jade Falcon. Why? Because the barbarian leader, Stephan Von Strang, was descended from a colonel who fought under Stephan Amaris the Usurper.

A bit gaudy, if you ask me. But then again, the Jade Falcons love a good show.

Clans Wolf and Smoke Jaguar faced much lesser opponents this week, and I am certain that they were disappointed. And the same applies to me. A mere Trinary from Delta Galaxy of my Clan invaded and conquered a tiny pirate dukedom here in the Periphery. A _Trinary_ , for a whole world! I am shaking my head in disbelief as I write this.

Who, exactly, was conquered? I am starting to think that it does not even matter! The defeated Duke and his warriors are certainly not affiliated with the Star League's old states. Apparently, the Duke had clawed his way to power in this region of space and used fear and underhanded tactics to become Duke of a planet called Red Dawn. I shudder to think of such villainy. The Duke's paltry BattleMech and armor forces fell in a matter of hours, and his palace was raided for any useful intel.

There was none. Only details on how he rose to power, and consensus and tax data and the like. Tax? Maybe that is the wrong word. It would seem that the Duke really just sent out his barbarians to seize whatever they felt was due from the frightened civilians of his and nearby worlds. They are like a very poor imitation of Clan Smoke Jaguar, having a raid-based economy. I do not like those crazed cats, but they are positively tolerable compared to this place. Zellbrigen is apparently nonexistent here.

Indeed, I visited the few bondsmen who were taken from Red Dawn earlier this evening. My first impression was the smell, and the second was the lack of unit pride or uniforms. Those men, and a few women, were filthy and unshaven, and they called me all sorts of names I had not heard before. Truly alien. I tested them, reminding them that they were freebirth brutes not even fit to be called proper warriors.

They were not impressed.

"You calling me a freebirthing brute?" one of them said. I heard later that his name is Carl. "What would you know about warriors, boy? You and your arrogant uniform!"

At least I _have_ a uniform.

And they did not seem to be the least bit impressed by my House Bekker genes and the great Ghost Bear warriors who have contributed to my gene pool. They had no shame or regret in their purely freebirth status. In fact, they seemed confused that I had even tried to speak down to them on that basis.

In short, I could make no headway with the bondsmen. I get the feeling that Delta Galaxy's commanders claimed them more out of curiosity than anything else. I cannot imagine such creatures in our warrior caste! Maybe in some backwater garrison unit? Forget it. They have no place in our touman.

In short, the Periphery has let me down. I waited months for this?

Oh, listen to me complain like a cub fresh out of the iron womb. It seems that the long trek here has worn me down. I certainly hope that proper combat in the Inner Sphere will clear these cobwebs from my brain.

One last note, which is more relevant now that the Clans are fighting: some have criticized Khan Bourjon for the light load of supplies that we have brought for this invasion. But if the Inner Sphere's defenders are anything like the bandits, our logistics may not be a problem after all.

And if the Inner Sphere's defenders prove themselves worthy... may Kerensky's wisdom guide us!

That is enough for now. Those Duke brutes are not worth any more thought or concern, really. They are oddities. And Candace just came back into the room, and she looks bored, even after the news of the Dukedom's fall. She is now asking me to put my "stravag" journal down and take her in my arms.

Until next week, journal.


	7. Chapter 7

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 315: March 12, 3050**_

At last, journal, the Bear has sunk its claws into the flesh of the Inner Sphere!

Into the flesh of a few worlds, at least. I am reluctant to admit this, journal, but in our eagerness for conquest, we of Clan Ghost Bear weighed down the initial bidding with stubborn pride and honor. You see, the world of Thule in the Free Rasalhague Republic lay before us, and my Clan's commanders all wanted the honor of taking the first planet.

Let me say that a compromise was _finally_ arranged: saKhan DelVillar allowed a force from each Galaxy to combine into one Cluster to assault the world. A fine idea, and personally, I am relieved that the bull-headed commanders were sated. I am sure that the bidding would have dragged on even further, putting us dangerously far behind on schedule.

I am not usually one to speak poorly of the chain of command. But I should mention that Clans Wolf and Smoke Jaguar are racing ahead while we Bears lumber our way into Inner Sphere space. Khan Kerensky is cutting deep into the Free Rasalhague Republic, and the Jaguars are making incredible progress into an old Star League state called the Draconis Combine. They took many worlds. Clan Ghost Bear has only taken four, and I have heard that only one more will be assaulted in this wave.

My own unit has not even seen action yet. The 32nd Assault Cluster sits impatiently in the _Bear's Den_ , far removed from our 'Mechs. It is like an itch that we cannot yet scratch! Star Colonel Ivan DelVillar told us in that quiet voice of his that he will bid aggressively to find a place in the second or third invasion wave, and by the blood of the Founders, I hope it is so! Being a spectator to this awe-inspiring invasion does not sit well with me.

Nor does it with Star Captain Dean Tseng, my own Trinary's commander. Have I described him before, journal? Perhaps once or twice. WIth his large, beast-like frame, his long fingernails filed into claws, and his attitude, he is a true Bear both face-to-face and on the battlefield. I cannot imagine how he fits into his _Warhawk_ ; perhaps with a great deal of squeezing, praying, and cursing! That is a common joke in the 32nd.

I am fortunate that the Star Captain has not yet heard it with those keen ears of his.

Ursina, meanwhile, agrees with Star Commander Quentin that patience is key here. Quentin never said as much aloud, but he definitely scorns the anger and pent-up bloodlust that Star Captain Tseng, Candace, and Thonn have been showing. "The ghost bears of the wild lie in wait in the snowdrifts, and there they remain until the prey is close," Quentin reminded us. "Does it thrash about like the ice hellion, quineg?"

Neg, as I had told him. I know the dangers of haste. But Candace's lovemaking has taken on an aggressive and reckless edge, and her fingernails and teeth have cut me a few times. In the throes of passion, I had hardly noticed. But I was not happy to find them later.

Candace needs an outlet, and soon. I will not keep paying the price for her animal urges!

That is all for today, journal. In the next few weeks, I will give you reports of what is happening elsewhere. Until the day I finally meet the Inner Sphere warriors on the field. May it come soon.

 _ **Entry 316: May 17, 3050**_

I realize that this makes for two entries in one week, journal. That is immaterial. Tragedy has befallen us. It is with a heavy heart that I recount these nightmarish events.

Allow me to explain that the captured FRR worlds have been troubling the garrison forces with open rebellion. These Rasalhague animals, they dare to raise their hand against us after proper defeat?! This is putting our invasion even further behind, while the stravag Wolf Clan races ahead to Terra. I will save that subject for another time.

The _Bear's Den_ jumped today to put down armed resistance on the FRR world of Damian. Upon arrival, an asteroid, probably a large one, collided with the ship. An _asteroid strike_ , of all freebirth things that could have happened! Our comm systems were knocked out, though I presume that the other two Galaxies will send a search party to find us.

The worst damage was the loss of an _entire DropShip_ , and the entire Cluster inside it. We of the 32nd Assault Cluster openly mourned and wailed at the ghastly news once Star Colonel DelVillar told us. His quiet voice shook with anger and shock, and not even Star Captain Tseng could find some way to blame the Inner Sphere barbarians for this. He only stood in mute silence. I can remember that look on his face, the way he went still. I am certain that his pent-up rage will explode on the battlefield once that bear is unleashed.

Out of respect for the fallen Cluster, I will not dive too deeply into the details and showcase their loss. Rather, I will certainly join my fellows in the mourning traditions once we make planetfall on Damain and put down the civilian resistance. Both Khans have agreed to hold the mourning ceremonies.

Star Commander Quentin retreated to his bunk soon after this, swathing himself in his bunk's sheets and obsessively reviewing the Battle ROMs from the first wave's battles. To some, the sight may seem comical, but it did not to me. I am sure that this is his way of coping. He did not speak to me when I quoted a The Remembrance passage that felt appropriate to this situation, nor did he respond when Candace offered a sparring session to clear his mind.

Like Star Captain Tseng, I am sure that Star Commander Quentin will be fully ready once we meet our enemies in battle.

So will I.

 _ **Entry 325: June 24, 3050**_

The Founders' graces are not with Clan Ghost Bear here in the Free Rasalhague Republic.

Yesterday, the invasion force pressed onwards and launched an assault on the FRR world of Last Frontier. Once again, my Cluster failed to find a place in the invasion force; despite Star Colonel Ivan DelVillar's eagerness to bring my unit into glorious battle, he was narrowly outbid, and Candace, Thonn, and I spent quite some time burning off our frustrated energy in Circles of Equals. Ursina joined us, and in a stunning move, subdued Candace in one particular bout.

I apologize. Remaining so close to my Starmates for so long makes me slow to remember the grand scheme of this invasion. I shall explain our newest tragedy: saKhan DelVillar was killed in action on Last Frontier.

I did not think it possible for our elegant and wise saKhan to fall like that. By what I heard, a lucky shot slew her. A _lucky shot!_ On our saKhan! Does the Inner Sphere think to mock us? How many more losses must our Clan endure? Just how many?

I cannot linger on SaKhan DelVillar's death any longer, or I shall lose my mind with fury. Rather, my Clan's politics experienced a shift in the wake of that tragedy. Khan Bourjon has been the target of criticism for our Clan's meager supplies, and after a Clan council meeting, Oathmaster Aletha Kabrinski was elected our new saKhan and she channeled our Clan's frustration against Khan Bourjon. I always admired our Oathmaster, and I actually cheered with my fellows once we received the news that saKhan Kabrinski had challenged Khan Bourjon's capacity as our leader.

At last! Proper change is being effected in our invasion force. Make no mistake, journal; as you can tell from the many entries I have written in you, I prefer a slower and more deliberate approach to problems. Quick, jarring disruptions are best left for the Ice Hellions and Smoke Jaguars. But these are trying times! I would never speak out against my leaders, but my Starmates and I have, in privacy, bemoaned Khan Bourjon's leadership. Quentin, too, had weighed in, giving a tactical view of our Khan with his trademark efficiency. Even his flat, subdued tone conveyed his shared frustration at our Khan.

In short, journal, saKhan Kabrinski's attack on Khan Bourjon in the Council worked wonderfully. Khan Bourjon's retaliatory vote of no confidence utterly failed, and he was similarly defeated in single combat against Star Colonel Bjorn Jorgensson's Omnifighter on Last Frontier. Interesting, indeed, how the world where all this started is also where it ended. I mourn saKhan DelVillar's death on that accursed planet, but there, we received our new Khan Jorgensson.

Bourjon is not dead, I should mention. He is still a capable warrior, but only that.

I chuckled to myself just now as I reviewed this entry, sitting on the edge of my bunk while Thonn and Candace are daydreaming aloud about the upcoming battles and Ursina eagerly listens in. In just a few paragraphs, I summed up our Clan's worst loss and greatest victory. It hardly seems possible, but such is the power of words. Perhaps it is the adrenaline in my system that makes me so excited right now?

I, too, am anxious for the invasion to resume. The third wave has, in general, been a disappointment, especially compared to Clan Wolf's astonishing progress toward Terra. By the Founders, the fourth wave _must_ be a success, or Clan Ghost Bear may be laughed out of the Inner Sphere entirely. I shudder to even write those words! But you, journal, are a place of honesty. It is nothing like the smokescreens, feints, and ulterior motives that no doubt run rampant in my Clan's council or the Grand Council.

If you can believe it, journal, Star Commander Quentin just approached me and challenged me to a Circle of Equals. How rare! As I type this, he is standing above me, waiting for my answer. Apparently, he wants to test my readiness and ensure that I am not feeling reckless or sloppy due to euphoria caused by Khan Jorgensson and saKhan Kabrinski's promotions.

Journal, can you guess what my answer is going to be?


	8. Chapter 8

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 344: September 16, 3050**_

It has happened, journal: I have set foot on the soil of the Inner Sphere!

Twice, actually, in different ways. Once in my OmniMech, and once with my own two feet. Both times... well, I can hardly even describe the thoughts that raced through my head. It was everything that I have waited so long for.

Allow me to back up. Ever since Khan Jorgensson's and saKhan Kabrinski's promotions, the Clan Ghost Bear leaders have worked hard to play catch-up with the other invading Clans. How can we let those stravag Wolves or the insane Smoke Jaguars make fools of us, when Terra still beckons? I know only general details of this, being a mere Point, but some PGCs were called up to garrison the worlds that we have captured thus far, and the Khans took the time to repair and refit our front-line Clusters.

Yes, I know: _more_ delays and deliberation? But I believe that it was done rightly. It is better to wait for these reinforcements and capture new worlds late than to rush and make even bigger fools of ourselves. Star Commander Quentin was of the same opinion, and I swear that I saw a glint of eagerness in his eyes when Star Captain Dean Tseng briefed us about the impending fourth invasion wave. Soon, very soon, we would be tested.

And tested we were! Right now, journal, I write in you on the ground of a minor Free Rasalhague World called Mjannir, one of the handful of worlds being taken in this wave. It is a beautiful place, journal; I need only step out of this front-line barracks to see verdant forests, raging rivers, waterfalls, a rich blue sky... truly a treat for the eyes. Arcadia is hardly a wasteland, but I was astounded once I stepped off the DropShip and saw all of this.

Now: the battle. Finally, Star Colonel Ivan DelVillar had won a bid against other units of Beta Galaxy to assault a world, having undercut the commanders of the Twelfth Bear Chevaliers and the Seventh Bear Guards, having narrowed down his force to two Trinaries from the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster.

Praise be to Star Colonel DelVillar!

Eagerly, my Trinary made planetfall with the fellow Trinary, and once my DropShip had thudded onto the ground, my heart raced. The doors had opened, and I remember the light flooding into the 'Mech bay, welcoming the 32nd to the Inner Sphere. Then I took my first step on FRR soil with my _Stormcrow-_ C and stared in wonder through my cockpit canopy. The rest of us did the same, walking too slowly toward the first checkpoint in order to take in the sights. Star Captain Tseng had roared at us on the comm to move our "freebirth asses" onwards for the mission. It is rather amusing in hindsight, though at the time, I refocused into battle mode.

Our opponents on this lush world are the 44th Norsemen Regulars, a front-line force of the FRR military, the KungsArme (what a strange name for their touman!). The 44th had nervously answered Star Colonel DelVillar's batchall, by what I was told, but not unfamiliar with our Clan ways. After all, the four invading Clans have already spent months in the Inner Sphere. It would seem that the 44th's commander awkwardly but correctly navigated his way through the batchall, and then the battle was joined.

Eventually, that is. The 44th Norsemen Regulars had agreed to meet us at the base of a mountain range near a pine forest, and as I now know, they had chosen that venue, full of cover, in order to negate the advantage we Clanners have with our long-range weapons. Now that I have fought the Inner Sphere warriors, I can see why they fear us: _their BattleMechs are inferior_.

I cannot phrase that another way! Their machines often held their fire during the first battle because they apparently overheat more readily than my unit's own OmniMechs. Not only that, but their weapons have less range! During the first few exchanges, the warriors of both Trinaries had opened fire with ER large lasers and ER PPCs, and for a few seconds, the 44th Norsemen Regulars had held their fire until they closed the distance between the two fighting forces.

I can only imagine the frustration that the Regulars' warriors had felt, being forced to take fire while coming closer to us. I believe that two, maybe three Regulars 'Mechs had gone down during that bold charger. And those fallen warriors had failed to fire a single shot.

After the one-sided attack, the battle became a proper clash of wills. Now, the enemy MechWarriors were mounted in outdated machines compared to ours, but I will say that their courage, spirit, and cleverness bridged that gap more than I had expected. And my fellow warriors felt the same, judging by the comm chatter. Star Captain Tseng had quickly lost his composure once the 44th Norsemen Regulars pressured us intensely with their guerrilla attacks from the forest's edge. His _Warhawk_ took considerable damage, and I can recall all the lasers, LRMs, and autocannon shells shredding the outer layers of his armor.

Of course, this advantage did not last forever.

When Star Captain Tseng lost his 'Mech's right arm, he did not explode, as I had thought, but his thoughts must have crystallized. He mustered my Trinary's forces into a counter-response team, and once the 44th's forces emerged for another guerrilla attack, the Bear's claws sliced into them.

Star Commander Quentin was instrumental in this. His quick and agile mind had perfectly analyzed the 44th's movements and calculated a counter. Under his calmly-stated orders, I intercepted an enemy 'Mech that I now know is called a _Centurion_. My _Stormcrow-_ C, you see, has an LBX-10 with cluster munitions in one arm, a large pulse laser in the other, and two medium pulses in the torso. My opponent had only an autocannon 10, two medium lasers, and an LRM 10 launcher.

In addition to overheating and having shorter attack ranges, these Inner Sphere 'Mechs had so few weapons! That _Centurion_ was only five tons lighter than my OmniMech, but it had the firepower of perhaps a 40-tonner by Clan standards. The enemy warrior's aim and daring were commendable, but by the Founders, I had actually felt a moment of pity for him or her. The _Centurion_ 's ballistics and lasers had certainly failed to breach my armor, and as I write this, the Techs are repairing only minor damage to my _Stormcrow_ -C in the 'Mech hangar with the others. My own return fire had quickly relieved the _Centurion_ of its autocannon arm and all of its torso armor.

I do not readily admit this next fact to my Trinary's warriors, but during that duel, I had tapped into the comm and granted the enemy MechWarrior hegira (him alone, not his while unit). His first response: asking "what the god-damned hell" hegira even was. When I explained it, he seemed to take offense. Perhaps he would feel guilt fleeing from me after his comrades had fallen to the Ghost Bears and Wolves elsewhere in the FRR?

I clearly remember firing a medium pulse laser into the _Centurion_ 's wounded chest and blowing up a heat sink. This action prompted the _Centurion_ to make good on my hegira request.

Perhaps that moment of remorse had spared him his life. Even now, as I write these words sitting on a tree stump outside the barracks, the other Trinary is searching for the remains of the 44th Norsemen Regulars. Indeed: the Regulars had fled the initial battlefield, their own chosen battlefield, once Star Commander Quentin's cunning tactics had opened up a critical hole in the Regulars' battle formations. With Star Captain Tseng's permission, the Star Commander had advised the other Stars in similar tactics and broken the Regulars' will to fight.

No one enjoys a mopping-up operation, I know, but it must be done. Somewhere on this verdant world lurks the 44th, plus an odd assortment of militia forces and a few mercenaries. This world, Mjannir, shall fall soon. I am sure of it; we only need patience to finish this battle, not luck.

Oh. I should mention something else, too: Candace very nearly became dezgra! After the 44th Norsemen Regulars had fled the initial battle, many of us were angered and disappointed, and some had fired frustration shots at random. Candace pilots a _Nova-_ A, which has two ER PPCs in its arms, and she actually fired one through empty air. Or so she thought: the PPC bolt had grazed the armor of Thonn's _Nova_ prime, and he turned around, clearly ready to challenge Candace to a Trial of Grievance right then and there.

Alarmed chatter had filled up the comm, and not even Star Commander Quentin had been able to settle the two _Nova_ pilots. At that moment, Star Captain Tseng had stomped over in his one-armed _Warhawk_ and fired both of his ER PPCs up into the air to get everyone's attention.

"Listen to me, you stravag-brained excuses for warriors!" he had roared on the general comm. "Stand down at once! Or I shall ensure that you spend the rest of the year wiping the grime off of freebirth infantrymen's boots!"

It is easy to recall the Star Captain's words, since they had such an impact on us all. Both Trinaries had been stunned into silence. Then, the Star Captain demanded that Thonn tell him how much damage Candace's ER PPC had done to him.

Thonn told him, and Star Captain Tseng very carefully aimed his _Warhawk_ 's ER PPC barrels and fired one at Candace's direction. To my astonishment, a wonder that I still feel while writing this, the ER PPC had grazed Candace's _Nova_ just as her shot had done to Thonn's 'Mech.

"Now you both stand even," Star Captain Tseng had said.

He certainly received another boost of respect from that.

However, there were other consequences for what had happened. Later in the barracks, Candace had complained of what had transpired, and Thonn confronted her, almost ready to call for a Trial of Grievance again. I stepped in and broke it up, and Thonn had stalked over to his bunk and buried his face behind a battlefield manual. Candace, meanwhile, had shoved me on the shoulder and asked why I was betrraying her.

I was not, as I told her. The way we are behaving, our respective gene-parents would have gutted us with a rusty knife! We were all acting like sibko brats in the sacred space of the old Star League, and it had to stop. Candace seemed convinced, but still angry, as she stormed away. Needless to say, she has not spoken to me since, and certainly not offered any coupling tonight, not even to talk things over or scratch me.

The 32nd Bears Assault Cluster has arrived on the fields of war at last. But we will have to work harder to make a good impression out of it.

Until next week, journal.


	9. Chapter 9

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 351: November 1, 3050**_

A great ripple has spread through every Clan, journal, both the invading Clans and those back home.

ilKhan Leo Showers is dead.

How? That is the strangest story I have yet heard. Being a mere Point, I have only the general details that my Galaxy Commander and Star Colonel DelVillar shared with us earlier today. In his deceptively soft voice, like a bear's warning growl, the Star Colonel explained that a grand kurultai was the triggering event.

Why that? Well, as usual, Clan Wolf was blazing an astonishing path toward Terra, and many warriors, myself included, envy the Wolves' speed under Khan Ulric Kerensky's leadership (and the aid of some freeborn named Phelan Kell or something like that). The Ghost Bear leaders, and many of my fellow warriors and I, thought that perhaps the Wolves' reckless speed would create openings in the inter-Clan invasion wave, so ilKhan Showers called for a grand kurultai to slow down the Wolves somehow.

I liked that plan, as did my Starmates. We have no love for those arrogant pups! In a sense, their glory is tainted, seeing how that bondsman, Phelan Kell, is giving Khan Ulric many insights to the FRR's defenses. If the Ghost Bears, or even the Smoke Jaguars or Jade Falcons, had such an asset, perhaps _we_ would be breathing down Terra's neck! It is exciting to picture in my mind, but really, there is no use wishing it.

Unless I luck out and capture the next Phelan Kell...

I apologize. Back on topic. It is petty of me to daydream about secret-weapon bondsmen when the Clans have suffered such a loss. Now, when ilKhan Showers called for that grand kurultai, many Clan WarShips convened in the Radastadt system yesterday, and the ilKhan traveled on the Wolf flagship _Dire Wolf_ rather than his own Clan's flagship, the fearsome _Sabre Cat_. Why? To keep watch on Khan Ulric, of course! I admire ilKhan Showers' hands-on methods, but they did not save his life.

This next part still fills me with shock and dismay. The KungsArme's own naval assets arrived in that system right after the _Dire Wolf_ had jumped into the system, and those freebirth barbarians seized that opportunity to attack. I can describe little more of that battle than the astonishing colimax, where a single KungsArme aerospace fighter flew in a suicide run right into the _Dire Wolf_ 's bridge. ilKhan Showers was killed on the spot, and Khan Kerensky was barely rescued in time.

By Jorgensson and Tseng's glory! Never has such a tragedy befallen the Clans since the dishonorable killing of Nicholas Kerensky himself! At least, not as far as my Starmates and I are concerned. Clan Ghost Bear had just now mustered its full fury and accelerated its invasion, and now... _this_.

I barely even registered the news of what happened next, during all the warriors' prayers for ilKhan Showers. We are returning home, where we will elect our next ilKhan. The journey will be long, to be sure, and bitter. Terra will have to wait for our glorious and righteous return.

Perhaps, out of respect for the ilKhan and in this time of mourning, I shall give you rest, journal. I shall write in your pages again when we return to our home.

 _ **Entry 352: June 23, 3051**_

Greetings, journal. The last few months have been... remarkable, in their own quiet way. I kept my promise to stay silent on the matter of Leo Showers' death, but in the meantime, my fellow warriors and I found a renewed sense of... well, community, of connection, and faith in ourselves and the Clan. The strict demands of this invasion had somewhat blunted the spirit of unity that Jorgensson and Tseng had given us, but in the wake of Leo Showers' death, we found that gift once again.

On the long trek back to Arcadia (where I write in you now), I read _The Remembrance_ four times, and the exertion considerably sped up my reading time. Quentin, being a speed-reader, read it six, and memorized long passages of it. As well as a brilliant Star Commander, he may very well become the spiritual leader of the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster, in a sense.

But all this strain seems to be catching up to him. Often, he seems haggard, with bloodshot eyes and a short temper. Has his sleep been affected? Is he concerned that he may have no opportunities for further promotion after the disasters of the invasion? I assured him that this will probably not be the case, but he did not seem inclined to agree. The last time I spoke to him, his response was only a grunt.

During those months, however, Candace and I forgave each other for any personal differences that may have arisen, and our close friendship has resumed in earnest. And yes, she is still a wild creature, such as the fact that she has grown out her fingernails and filed them into claws like Star Captain Tseng's. This makes the coupling with her... awkward. She tries not to cut me anymore, but it usually happens. She teased me a few times about this, and I forgave her.

Though in her defense, she has certainly gained new respect for me in the Circle of Equals. I still lag behind her skills and ferocity in unaugmented combat, but her victories have become more narrow. Ursina and Thonn have also bettered themselves since our earliest days in Beta Galaxy, and Star Captain Tseng had voiced his gruff approval a few times. I should mention, though, that he can easily defeat any of us in combat whenever we grow bold enough to challenge him. And we dare not even _try_ to face off against Star Colonel DelVillar!

And now, journal, we have reached the present day. What fresh developments have rocked the Clans?

We have a new ilKhan: Ulric Kerensky of the Wolves.

I am not a well-read expert of Clan politics, but Star Commander Quentin is, and once Star Colonel DelVillar delivered the news in person to the warriors in my barracks, Quentin had leaped to his feet and looked happier than I had ever seen him. Some of us had been confused by both the news and Quentin's reaction, but the Star Commander quickly explained it. As Wolf Khan, Ulric Kerensky had sided with the Wardens, but as ilKhan, he would now be forced to enforce the will of the Grand Council, which is Crusader-dominant. Ulric is now an instrument of the Crusaders' will and can do nothing to further his own Warden ways.

Though perhaps to a small degree. Star Colonel DelVillar further reported that the new Wolf Khan was the famed Natasha Kerensky! That is right, journal, the Black Widow. I hear that Khan Kincaid Furey of the Smoke Jaguars was quite shocked and upset by this turn of events. On one hand, Crusaders like him had scored a victory by electing Ulric and ilKhan. But the wily Ulric is still capable of fighting back, in a limited way. The future of Clan politics promises to be exciting.

This is mostly distant news to me. What I care most about is that the invasion is likely to resume as soon as our forces are ready. Perhaps we will re-enter the Free Rasalhague Republic by November or so? I am not like the Smoke Jaguars or Jade Falcons; I do not exactly revel in the thought of swimming through the shed blood of freebirth Inner Sphere warriors, or obliterating their homes like when the _Sabre Cat_ had obliterated a Draconis Combine city.

I wish only that the warriors of the Inner Sphere quickly realize their impending defeat and flee from us, so we may claim Terra without a protracted struggle. I agree with the Crusaders that Clan leadership is necessary to properly restore the Star League and all its glory. But the means to do so is less than ideal. I pray that every Clan can match Clan Wolf's speed and conquer Terra swiftly.

I seem to be in the minority in the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster, however. Once Star Commander Quentin had explained every implication of the Grand Council's outcome, we celebrated long into the night. Quentin is an enthusiastic Crusader, and by his words, his fiery beliefs stem from his study and analysis of _The Remembrance_ and various books about the Amaris Civil War and the Exodus. He will not rest that powerful brain of his, or his 'Mech, until we plant the Ghost Bear flag on Terra, knee-deep in Inner Sphere barbarian blood.

What a visual. Ursina, being a skilled artist and another passionate Crusader, may actually paint that scene. I thought I heard her mention it once or twice in passing.

And yes, Candace and Thonn are also staunch Crusaders, and when they asked me, I told them my view: yes, I am also Crusader, but I take no pleasure in it. The campaign to take Terra is for the good of all, not an excuse to bathe myself in blood and body parts. Thonn had given me a look of disgust, while Candace promised that she would have a nice, long talk with me in bed after our coupling tonight. I look forward to it, but I am also wary.

On a final note, journal, Star Colonel DelVillar told us that the freeborn bondsman among the Wolves, that MechWarrior Phelan Kell, had delivered a rousing speech in ilKhan UIric Kerensky's defense, and at the same time humiliated Khan Kincaid Furey. I am starting to think that freeborn barbarians may surprise us again in the future. Perhaps I will find out for myself once I join the fifth invasion wave later this year.

That is all for now, journal. There is a soccer game starting with my Trinary and a Trinary from the 18th Bear Chevaliers. It promises to be a good one.


	10. Chapter 10

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 354: July 12, 3051**_

In three day's time, journal, the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster will board its DropShip, join the _Bear's Den_ , and begin the return trek to Inner Sphere space, that endless battlefield. By "endless", I mean that there are many worlds that lie ahead of us! Even for Clan Wolf, several invasion waves may be necessary to finally reach Terra. For all our progress, there is that much left to accomplish. I am certainly not daunted by that fact, though! Whatever the setbacks of my Clan's first few invasion waves, surely our fortunes will be brighter this time. I am sure of it.

Why? Khan Bjorn Jorgensson. Word is, he will ensure that Clan Ghost Bear has an ample supply for this renewed invasion, a hard lesson learned from the previous Khan. That, and the fact that Clans Nova Cat, Steel Viper, and Diamond Shark have been assigned to accompany the original four invading Clans as backup. That is right; the Steel Viper Clan is a "partner" to the Jade Falcons, and the Nova Cats the same for the Smoke Jaguars. However, Clan Ghost Bear will advance alone, as it should be. We are solitary ambush hunters! Another Clan would only slow us down.

Oh. Speaking of my Clan's namesake, I witnessed something remarkable earlier today, here on Arcadia. A hunting party from the arctic circle returned, and they brought with them a ghost bear's pelt! I had joined an excited crowd to welcome the hunters back, and the four weary, frost-bitten warriors had waved and saluted as they dragged their prize along.

Such a pelt! It probably could have carpeted an entire barracks floor! I exaggerate, but in my delight, I could not help but think such a thing. The warriors had also brought the beast's head, a snarl still on its face, its eyes blank and white like the stories say. Indeed a perfect hunter. The ghost bear blends perfectly into the still snow until it strikes down its target.

Which is certainly what my Clan shall do once it stalks into the Inner Sphere's vulnerable borders.

I can say little more today, journal, except that the general atmosphere is jubilant, and many games and mock fights are held to channel this energy. Candace and Thonn urged me to join a rugby game that is forming, which we will play against warriors from Alpha Galaxy.

I shall write again once I return to the Inner Sphere. I apologize, journal, but I must break my "once per week" rule. I have traversed the empty space between here and the Inner Sphere once; speaking of it again would only diminish it. Now, I must go.

*o*o*o*o*

 _ **Entry 355: December 23, 3051**_

As promised, journal, I am here again, writing in your pages. Before getting started, I checked my last entry. I was excited then, eager for my return to battle.

It was well-founded!

The fifth wave of the invasion has begun, and under Khan Jorgensson and saKhan Kabrinski, it promises to be the best yet. Alpha Galaxy is battle-worn but victorious, and they havew taken the Draconis Combine world of Alshain. The defending forces, the 2nd Sword of Light and the 6th Alshain Regulars, employed all sorts of filthy tactics against Alpha Galaxy. Freebirth! I heard the reports through the chain of command, and Quentin, Candace and I were disgusted by the news. Hidden explosives, refusing to reveal the defenders' initial location, concentrated fire... all unspeakable acts! I certainly take comfort, however, knowing that not even these dezgra defenses could hold the planet against my Clan's claws.

Alshain is ours. The "samurai" MechWarriors of the Inner Sphere are right to fear us!

I apologize. In my anger over the DCMS's foul tactics, I got off-topic. I do not let my fury control me, but it can disrupt my mind at times. Allow me to get back on-topic.

Beta Galaxy saw its own share of action so far. The Draconis Combine is not quite like the Free Rasalhague Republic; its defenses are far stronger, and that is not only due to the Combine's larger economy compared to the FRR's. The MechWarriors here follow "bushido", which is apparently a freebirth code of honor that dates back to pre-spaceflight Terra. These samurai MechWarriors are actually a rough analogue for Clan warriors, at least, when they are not using mines and other dezgra tactics. They even have a concept of one-on-one dueling! A number of bondsmen have been taken by my Clan, and interrogations with them revealed all this and much more. So, the Inner Sphere has at least a faint concept of zellbrigen!

I found out some of this first-hand when Star Colonel Ivan DelVillar bid against the other Clusters of Beta Galaxy and cut down to two Trinaries, a Staraerospace fighters, and a Star of Elementals. Star Colonel DelVillar had quietly but firmly outbid the commander of the 12th Bear Chevaliers, apparently cutting down a Binary of aerospace fighters to just the aforementioned Star. What can I say? Some commanders prefer an emphasis on Elementals, and others on aerospace fighters. But all of them but BattleMechs first, and for good reason.

Star Captain Tseng had gleefully told my Trinary's warriors of the upcoming attack, and by the end, he was roaring every word, gesturing with those claw-fingernails of his. His spirit was infectuous! We were ready.

Our DropShip made good time, and arrived on the surface of our target world, Daitsuka IV, in the middle of... a desert. Not exactly the arctic tundra that I had hoped for, but Star Colonel DelVillar had adjusted. The laser-heavy 'Mechs of our assault force had received missile and ballistic weapons, just in case. Even double heat sinks could be stressed on a world like this. To be more specific, the noon high temperature read as 42 degrees Celsius on my sensors! I have heard reports that the cities are really just biodomes that grow their own food in enormous greenhouses, and the natives only venture outside in large machines to mine the planet's rich mineral deposits.

Here, on this sun-blasted mining world, our assault force encountered the enemy: the 14th Blood Oni battalion. "Oni" is the Japanese name for an ogre, a fearsome creature. But what is an ogre to a Ghost Bear?

Meat.

Forty enemy 'Mechs faced off against two Trinaries of OmniMechs, alongside our aerospace fighters and Elementals. For a moment, I had been aghast. How could Star Colonel DelVillar think that we need so many forces against a single battalion of inferior BattleMechs? Then I got my answer in the form of company of 'Mechs, the Daistuka Militia, who operated with armored support vehicles.

The battle was quickly joined. Just like in last year's battles, the Inner Sphere defenders were hampered by their antique machines, but not by their spirit, or their tactics. I felt a mix of admiration and scorn for the Draconis Combine defenders over the last few weeks; how can one military favor honorable tactics such as duels, but also dezgra tricks such as mines and focused fire? It baffles me! I had begun to think that I had these barbarians figured out. I now realize that I may never truly grasp them.

When the battle was first joined, Star Captain Tseng moved my unit through a series of dunes, timing our movements to avoid enemy fire as the other Trinary advanced. Our Elementals and aerospace fighters engaged the militia company to keep them back, and then my Trinary assaulted the 14th Blood Oni battalion while the other Trinary waited in reserve.

Stravag! It did not take long for the other Trinary to send a Star to aid us, for the Blood Oni warriors fought with a ferocity and cleverness unfamiliar to me outside the Clans. Star Captain Tseng's men struck the first blow due to our better weapons, but the samurai MechWarriors quickly compensated. I could hardly believe it when our 'Mechs were suppressed, then started to fall, one by one.

Perhaps we underestimated these people. But I am pleased to say that once the reinforcement Star arrived, Star Commander Quentin, once again, saw a solution where no one else did. Apparently, a "critical opening" was created in the defenders' formations once the reinforcement Star arrived, and once again, Star Captain Tseng listened closely. He is a brash and beastly man, but he knows to make use of any ristar in our touman, especially one like Quentin. My Star led the attack, me in my _Stormcrow_ -C, Quentin in a _Stormcrow-_ B (he is a genius with that ultra autocannon 20), and Candace and Thonn each in a _Nova_ variant.

My Star advanced and intercepted a lance of Blood Oni warriors. I cannot tell you, journal, how satisfying it was to open fire on those freebirth rats. I still pilot that _Stormcrow_ -C, and my large pulse laser and LBX-10 autocannon proved their worth. I could not easily fire my medium pulses, however, due to the intense heat. But with Star Commander Quentin's bloodthirsty tactics, I did not even need all my weapons!

I engaged an enemy 'Mech that I now know is called a _Warhammer_ , and this one must have contained extra heat sinks in order to utilize its PPCs. One bolt of that blue lightning had done serious damage to my torso, but my superior maneuvering and weapons fire overwhelmed my enemy. I clearly recall the 'Mech's left arm coming off in a blast of sparks and smoke once my LBX-10 volleys connected, and the _Warhammer_ pilot panicked. His other weapons fired at me, but his lasers and missiles hit only empty air. Once I destroyed his other arm, he simply retreated without saying a word to me on the general comm.

I should have figured.

Star Captain Tseng let loose in his _Warhawk_ , and I enjoyed the sight. On this hot world, he was using a pair of ultra autocannon 10s from his arms, and two Streak SRM 6 launchers for backup. A magnificent configuration at medium to close ranger, to be sure, and the Star Captain vanquished two enemy 'Mechs with it. All the same, at some point, Star Captain Tseng called over another Star from the backup Trinary, and the minor loss of honor was clearly worth it to him.

By that, I mean that our 'Mechs in the battle were in danger of being overwhelmed, but once our numbers were bolstered yet again, Star Commander Quentin found a way to cleave the defending force completely in half. And once _that_ happened, there was definitely no need to call over the last Star waiting in reserve. The 14th Blood Oni battalion surrendered at once, and their commander, and his lancemates, were taken as bondsmen. Suffice it to say that the militia company was similarly defeated... against a Clan force that did not even contain 'Mechs!

I have not yet met the bondsmen in person, but I intend to, perhaps in a few day's time. I feel that I could possibly learn something from them. I certainly look forward to that more than visiting any bondsmen that we captured in the Periphery. These samurai are, deep down, worthwhile warriors.

I take comfort in that fact.


	11. Chapter 11

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 356: December 26, 3051**_

I have something interesting for you, journal: an unabridged transcript of my conversation/questioning session with the DCMS bondsmen who were captured here on Daitsuka IV. Our DropShips are still situated here while scout Stars ensure that this world is completely under control. The samurai warriors of the Draconis Combine have certainly proven themselves as the most worthy opponents for any of the invading Clans. Caution is certainly warranted!

Earlier today, I visited the bondsmen's holding cells and brought an audio recorder with me. The bondsmen are placed three per cell, and although they are treated humanely, I could easily see the resentment smouldering in their eyes, and in the tension of their movements. We have subdued their 'Mechs, but not the warriors inside. Good; the Ghost Bears deserve such opponents.

Star Captain Tseng thought that this is a waste of time, but once I was off duty, I made my way here. I will now write down a passage for my audio transcript.

 **Me:** Good afternoon, bondsmen. I am Michael, a warrior of Clan Ghost Bear. I am here only for my own interests; do not consider this an interrogation.

 **DCMS warrior:** I know what Clan you're from, invader! You proud Clan bastards...

 **Me:** I see. Again, I am here not to interrogate you, but to satisfy my curiosity. All of you proved worthwhile opponents. I would like to see how you think, where you come from.

 **Second DCMS warrior:** Didn't think you invaders would care.

 **Me:** My commanding officers might not, but I do. Now, how does House Kurita produce such fine warriors? The Free Rasalhague Republic certainly does not.

 **First DCMS warrior:** Bah. Stupid Swedenese runts thought they could stand alone in the universe. My uncle fought in the Ronin Wars, y'know. Didn't come back. I ain't gonna cry that you Clan bastards ran them into the ground.

 **[general laughter]**

 **Me:** I saw little action against the FRR, actually. I am more interested in how bushido shaped you into the warriors that -

 **First DCMS warrior:** Hey, kid. You're really a MechWarrior? Surprised you're allowed to fight on the front lines like this. Took me six years to get any real front-line postings along the Federated Commonwealth border! How'd a punk like you get here?

 **Me:** A Clan warrior's career starts as soon as he or she turns twenty. After training all my life, I was immediately ready for proper combat assignments. Barely two years after my Trial of Position -

 **Second DCMS warrior:** Your what?

 **Me:** My... life-fire graduation test, that is. Not long after I earned my rank, the Grand Council voted to launch the invasion. Operation REVIVAL.

 **First DCMS warrior:** Revival? Of what?

 **Me:** Of the glorious Star League. The Great Houses shattered mankind's greatest achievement. So, it falls to us Clans to set you straight and reinstate the old Star League.

 **Third DCMS warrior:** So, that's what this's about? You're conquering all our planets and taking our freedoms so you can what, bring back the Star League? Bullshit! Three centuries of fighting didn't decide who'd rule it. Why would you outsiders get a chance?

 **Me:** That is the whole point; Stefan Amaris' body was barely cold when the House lords started fighting in the power vacuum. I know the history of it all. Put simply, we Clans need you Inner Sphere warriors to step aside so we may return Aleksandr Kerensky's vision to the Inner Sphere. But you oppose us, so we fight.

 **First DCMS warrior:** You gotta be kidding me! What gives you the right?!

 **Second DCMS warrior:** We'd die before letting the Clans rule us. You don't belong here! Get out of our space!

 **Me:** It was not my decision. Are you aware that the Clanners are divided between the Crusaders, who support this campaign, and the Wardens, who oppose it? Direct your anger to the Crusaders in general, not to me.

 **Third DCMS warrior:** What the fuck does that mean?

 **Me:** Not everyone in the Clans is the same, you see. Do not assume that we are hive-minded aliens.

 **Second DCMS warrior:** So, what about you, kid? You one of these Crusaders?

 **Me:** Yes -

 **Third DCMS warrior:** Then fuck you! You're one of them, wanting to rule us!

 **Me:** The decision to invade the Inner Sphere was not mine. I figured that if we invade anyway, the campaign may as well be quick and decisive. Minimize the losses on both sides, so we can proceed to the Star League's revival.

 **First DCMS warrior:** Bullshit. You're one of them. Your kind is killing us. That's all we've got to know.

 **Me:** I know that you all are angry. But I advocate a quick end to the war! Believe me, I would prefer that the Inner Sphere's armies step aside and alllow us to do what we must. I am proud to be a warrior, and I will fight whoever I must, but I do not spill blood for sport. Only for duty.

 **Second DCMS warrior:** Is there supposed to be a difference?

 **Third DCMS warrior:** Kid doesn't know what he's talking about.

 **Me:** I want what is best for humanity, and that is the Star League, my heritage. Your heritage. If not for the Inner Sphere's armies' pride, this could all already be over. But you insist on stopping us. I would rather you not. Only the Jade Falcons and Smoke Jaguars actually want you to resist with all your might, so there can be maximum fighting and glory.

 **First DCMS warrior:** Don't even say shit about the Smoke Jaguars, Clan boy. You weren't there on Turtle Bay! Edo, totally wiped off the map. How can you sit there and tell us that you want minimum bloodshed?

 **Me:** I am not with the Smoke Jaguars! Warriors do not transfer from one Clan to another except for bondsmen who join their new Clan's warrior caste. That is not the case for me.

 **Second DCMS warrior:** A Clanner is a Clanner.

 **Me:** A Crusader wants to tear your heart open. A Warden wants to block all Crusader aggression.

 **Third DCMS warrior:** You told us that you're one of those Crusaders!

 **Me:** Well, I did. But I am not as militant as most of the others. I approve of this invasion, but only if it can come to a quick end. I consider Operation REVIVAL a grim necessity. The Smoke Jaguars think it is great sport. They will almost be disappointed when it is successful and finished.

 **First DCMS warrior:** All you Clanners can go to hell.

 **Me:** I had hoped to learn more about you as warriors, rather than the invasion itself. But that seems lost now.

 **Second DCMS warrior:** Fine, you want to know? We train to defend our homelands and for the glory of the Coordinator, and the black dragon on our flag. Bushido tells us to balance inner peace and outer combat, to remember honor, to keep ourselves a sharp blade. And we're going to use every fucking bit of it to send the Clans to hell. That's what every man and woman in the Mustered Soldiery is going to do.

 **Me:** I suppose that is all I will get from you. Thank you. I -

 **[The door opens. Footsteps.]**

 **Candace:** Michael, I knew I would find you here. Get moving.

 **Thonn:** We are due for an early patrol. The whole Star. Star Commander Quentin sent us to find you. Ursina is waiting for us in the 'Mech bay.

 **Me:** Aff. I could not get anything else from the bondsmen anyway. I will meet you in the 'Mech bay.

 **Thonn:** Star Captain Tseng thinks that there is a pocket of resistance near the capital city. What do you say, Michael? If they are there, glory to whoever kills the most rebels!

 **Candace:** Me, too. I can outshoot either of you.

 **Thonn:** Neg! And I shall prove it!

 **Third DCMS warrior:** Fuck you!

 **Thonn:** If you faced me in a Circle of Equals, bondsman freebirth, you would not have that tone with me ever again!

 **Candace:** Oh, I would like to see that.

 **Me:** Forget it. They have already fought well once.

 **Thonn:** Not well enough, quineg?

 **Candace:** Neg. Michael, why would you defend them?

 **Me:** Their bushido spirit is commendable, even if these warriors lack the finer points of zellbrigen. House Kurita is the closest to a proper match any of the invading Clans can find. I believe that we should keep that in mind.

 **Thonn:** Well... maybe. I do not care that much, really. Let us go, Michael; we should not keep the Star Commander waiting.

 **Me:** Of course. Allow me to shut off this recorder.

 **[Audio transcript ends.]**

I definitey would like to delve deeper into what produced such relatively skilled warriors in the Draconis Combine! But I seem to have the dissenting opinion in the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster. Star Colonel DelVillar and Star Commander Quentin only see battlefield maps to exploit, and Star Captain Tseng only sees freebirth blood to spill. I see a chance for deeper learning and new philosophies to explore. I do not have to be a Snow Raven mystic to think that we are on the verge of learning a great deal more about humanity, and ourselves, by studying our opponents in-depth.

I only wish that the DCMS warriors did not speak so crudely.

That is all for today, journal. The patrol was uneventful, so there is no need to recount it here. Perhaps another battle in this invasion wave will produce a story worth telling.


	12. Chapter 12

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 392: April 14, 3052**_

Journal, I had taken such comfort from the success of our invasion wave, how the Ghost Bear's claws tore through the worthy Draconis Combine between us and the coveted Terra. Gone are the initial days of the invasion, when ex-Khan Bourjon's foolishness had sabotaged our war machine. Only Clan Wolf has progressed further than my Clan toward Terra, and from my earlier entries, it is clear that I share the pride of my fellow warriors during this invasion wave. What could possibly stop us now?

High-level negotiations are what stopped us.

All of us were eager for a sixth invasion wave, and Candice, Thonn, Ursina, and I shared daydreams of which worlds we should attack next, what sort of warriors we would face, and how aggressively Star Colonel DelVillar would bid to get the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster on Kurita worlds. We went as far as bidding between ourselves for who would take the lead in such an attack, bidding away weapons on our 'Mechs or choosing to pilot smaller 'Mechs. Thonn usually won these bids, but Ursina taunted him more than once that he would surely be slain by DCMS soldiers if he piloted a _Fire Moth_ armed with two ER small lasers, as was his last bid. Thonn is a fierce and capable warrior, as I have pointed out before, but he is clumsy and reckless in bidding. No dishonor against him, but I hope that he does not ever become an officer.

Indeed, we were in excellent spirits as of this morning, and I have never seen Ursina happier than this. She has lagged behind the rest of her Starmates in combat, and Star Captain Tseng certainly considers her the weakest link of our Trinary. As is the Ghost Bear way, we support our own and elevate the lowest warriors, but Thonn and Candace are determined to rise higher, spill more blood, face more enemies. Perhaps it will get them a higher rank. Perhaps it will get them an early grave. Candace is confident of the former, and I support her, of course, but that is not a guarantee of anything.

Now, back on topic. Word of an impending battle has trickled down from the top brass of each Clan, and now, the entire 32nd Assault Cluster is in a buzz over the news. Star Colonel DelVillar had explained the details to us in his usual quiet voice, but by now, I have long since learned to hear the anger, excitement, grief, or whatever emotion he was really feeling under that calm tone.

A proxy battle! For Terra! I could hardly believe it, and the whole room of warriors and officers babbled in mixed shock, anger, or glee until the Star Colonel finally raised his voice to a bear's roar to restore the quiet. It was around noon today; the Star Colonel had stood before a large screen in the conference room, and even though I had stood near the crowd's back, I was tall enough to see everything. And, of course, hear everything. Poor Ursina had to stand on her tip-toes the whole time to see the charts and maps on the screen.

ilKhan Ulric Kerensky had once again showed everyone his wily side. Those stravag Wolves are just as cunning and vicious in negotiations and the Grand Council as they are on the battlefield, so I hear, and this was no different. The ilKhan had met with Anastasius Focht of ComStar and bargained for a Trial of Possession for Terra itself, accelerating Operation REVIVAL to its climax. Of course, reaching Terra itself would take us weeks, and no Inner Sphere barbarian, ComStar or not, wanted such a massive battle to take place on humanity's homeworld! I sympathize with their view; there is much on Terra that would be obliterated in the Trial, including irreplaceable ancient ruins and natural ecosystems. Instead, we learned the name of the proxy world for Terra where we would fight ComStar's army.

Tukayyid.

I knew the name, based on tactical maps that Star Captain Tseng had showed my Trinary in anticipation for further conquest. Tukayyid is a rustic agricultural world, though it has mountains, hot springs, treacherous valleys, and more. It would seem that ComStar and the ilKhan are busy evacuating every civilian from Tukayyid and preparing the battlefields. An excellent move; my Crusader cause does not extend to butchering everyone in sight! This Trial is close to what I had hoped for, a quick and decisive end to Operation REVIVAL. I will miss the chance to keep testing myself against the DCMS, but it is not my place to object. Instead, I shall test myself against an unknown but apparently large enemy force.

There is already intense bidding underway among the Khans for our arrival on Tukayyid. Seven Clans are present in the Inner Sphere as I write this, and we all want the glory of arriving first and shedding first blood. I fervently hope that by the Founders' glory, Clan Ghost Bear will arrive planetside first and carve a bloody swath through ComStar's army to victory. The Wolves aim to be ilClan and plant their flag on Terra, but we have caught up to them. The Wolves are clever, but now is the time of the Bear, and our long howl has echoed throughout the Inner Sphere. Under the mighty bear's paw, the Inner Sphere will be cowed!

The news of this battle is sending adrenaline through my system, journal. Very soon, I shall join the great battle, and I am sure that visions of this event will fill my dreams. Candice, in particular, was practically hopping up and down with glee once we re-entered our communal bunk here aboard the _Bear's Den_ , and I am sure that she needs to burn off this energy in a Circle of Equals. I will oblige her; I need the same thing, too.

This journal is about to become very interesting.

 _ **Entry 393: April 20, 3052**_

Preparation for the Battle of Tukayyid, as it is already called, is well underway. I will spare you the tedious details, journal, except that Clan Ghost Bear is falling behind in the inter-Clan bidding and will probably end up arriving third or fourth on the planet. I am disappointed, while Thonn was enraged by this and threatened to fight any other Clanner in a Trial of Grievance if Clan Ghost Bear is not first on Tukayyid. But there is something else happening in my Star.

Star Commander Quentin has delved deep into strategy, poring over every map and detail with Star Colonel DelVillar will allow him. He is showing his usual tactical acumen, to be sure, but it seems that the strain is catching up to him. He seems weary and distracted when not studying the maps, and when challenged to a Circle of Equals to clear his mind, he did not fight with his usual precision and discipline. He nearly resorted to dezgra tactics and was booed by the rest of our Trinary. After that, he retreated once again to the tactical maps.

Earlier this evening I tried to speak to him, but he would have none of it. "You must surely be at your limit," I had told him. "I saw you in the Circle. This is not _you_ , Star Commander."

"Do not presume to lecture me, Michael," Quentin had snapped. He had stood and seized the collar of my uniform. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair unkempt. I can still see that look in my mind now, and I fear that my Star Commander is near some dreadful border in his mind. I could not talk him down, and I cut my losses and retreated to my bunk. Ursina had joined me.

"Did you speak to the Star Commander?" she had asked, sitting next to me. Her hands were held tightly in her lap, like they always are when she is nervous.

"Aff," I had told her. "He will not listen to me. He has a one-track mind."

"I could not reach him, either," Ursina had admitted to me. She went on to explain how she, despite having the least prestigious codex in our Trinary, had felt duty-bound to approach the Star Commander and help relieve him of the burden. Apparently, Star Commander Quentin had used her modest codex against her, saying that she was not fit to even try to question him. He had threatened a Trial of Grievance if she had spoken another word aloud, so she had fled the room, unwilling to tell any of us what had happened.

I then reassured her that the Star Commander meant no ill will to her, and that we will all prove ourselves on Tukayyid next month. But what if I am wrong? Suppose the Star Commander will push us in the wrong direction for his own personal gain on Tukayyid? He is still a ristar in our touman, but ristars have rfallen from grace before.

It does no good to worry about this right now. But it still weighs heavily on my mind, and I have replayed all these conversations in my mind, and I recall them with great clarity. Star Captain Tseng thinks nothing of it, and he has stated that he will rely on Star Commander Quentin's brilliance once we hit the ground on Tukayyid. I am sure, but not certain, that the Star Captain's faith is well-placed.

Until next time, journal.


	13. Chapter 13

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 395: May 1, 3052**_

I am here, journal: Tukayyid. I hardly know where to start, and I am weary from the first day's battles and destruction. I am tempted to gloss all this over, but I shall not. I can say with some certainty, however, that this will not be a quick and decisive battle at all, for any Clan here. It shall be a long trudge to our objectives.

What are those objectives? The conquest of Tukayyid, of course, but in particular, the defending cities of Spanac and Luk. You see, journal, each of the seven Clans here is tasked in conquering two cities guarded by the Com Guards. My own Clan arrived on Tukayyid five hours after the battle started, with Clan Smoke Jaguar arriving first. How typical of them. They bid away a bit too much strength, I have heard, to get in that position. I have no love for those insane Jaguars, but a Com Guards victory over them would harm the whole invasion's chances of taking Terra! For the sake of Terra, and not the stravag Jaguars, I hope that the cats can hold.

Alpha, Beta, and Delta Galaxy of Clan Ghost Bear have set boots on Tukayyid today. I still feel the awe and thrill I first experienced upon stepping out of my DropShip and taking my first steps in my _Stormcrow-_ C. For all intents and purposes, this is Terra! Once again, I must express my relief that the invasion's true objective is at hand. This is what really matters, not how many skulls we collect along the way. I understand that the Smoke Jaguars and Jade Falcons were less than thrilled to leap ahead in Operation REVIVAL to its climax, but their stravag opinion matters little here.

Enough about the Jaguars! They have been on my mind today, since they may represent how well or poorly the seven Clans here will fare against these Com Guard defenders. None of the Clans are actually aiding each other, of course, but there is come communication between us all. It seems that Khan Lincoln Osis' Alpha Galaxy did well against a Com Guards unit, but that is only the start. These Com Guards soldiers are wily; is there a trap ahead for the Jaguars? I wonder how the headstrong and reckless cats will deal with such a situation. But us Ghost Bears will not fall for such tricks or play into the Com Guards' hands in any other way!

We almost did, however, I must admit. Beta Galaxy landed without any issue and we marched for the city Luk along with Delta Galaxy, while Alpha headed for Spanac. Many times, Star Captain Tseng had to order us to cut the chatter, we were so excited. Tseng warned us "yappy surats" that we would be on latrine duty until we faced our deaths in a solahma unit if we did not shut up. After some reluctance, Candace and Thonn obeyed.

Now. That trick. A few units of the Com Guards attempted to harass the forces bound for Luk, and for the most part, we held them off. Delta Galaxy suffered minor losses, and Beta Galaxy, even fewer. That is hardly surprising; we are the Night Howlers, and no freebirth unit can destroy us. They certainly tried, however, and Star Commander Quentin quickly broke the menace that faced us. During the retreat of several Com Guards units, Star Colonel DelVillar spread out the Trinaries of the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster to hunt down the Com Guards stragglers. However, the retreat was as much an ambush as an actual retreat, and dozens of Com Guards 'Mechs converged on isolated groups of 32nd 'Mechs! That is right, journal; the Com Guards used retreat as a weapon!

Freebirth! I can hardly describe my disgust for these dezgra tactics! Star Captain Tseng roared his fury on the comm as he fired with wild abandon in his _Warhawk_ , but we had been outmaneuvered, until Star Commander Quentin found a way out. Better than that: he reversed the situation, and once he coordinated with another Trinary, crushed a strategically-placed Com Guards unit and totally changed the face of the battle. I can imagine the smug looks on those Com Guards warriors' faces changing to shock as Quentin's maneuver tore the Com Guards apart. The spirit of the Founders was with us this afternoon, and the bear's claws crushed our opponents. I am quite proud to have been a part of that, and help set an example for Delta Galaxy.

But there were many more instances of guerilla tactics, artillery shelling, and strafing runs all day, and our heightened spirits were dampened somewhat as we slowly made our way to Luk. It would seem that Alpha Galaxy is faring better than us on their way to Spanac; the Golden Bears are not to be trifled with. But Beta Galaxy must endure without them, and I will do everything to help.

It is a long road ahead of us, journal. Right now, I am seated on a bench outside a mobile barracks, one of many such barracks, under a starry sky. Night fell early here on Tukayyid, and now, I can only hear occasional distant sounds of artillery or the scream of aerospace fighters on both sides. There, I heard one now! The shriek of Com Guards fighters, followed by the booms of their LRMs striking the ground. Delta Galaxy is taking the brunt of the aerial harassment, and Beta may be next.

At least our perimeter is secure. Our Galaxy Commander, Loremaster Laurie Tseng, quickly chased off a number of Com Guards scout units and guerilla forces, but to be even more sure, she has many patrols out and about. Later tonight, the 32nd will send Stars on patrol, including me. From here, I can see a few medium 'Mechs from the 14th Battle Cluster marching over a hill at a brisk pace, their torso-mounted lights on, cutting through the darkness. What a sight it is. I fervently hope that they find nothing on their patrol.

I am weary, journal, and my head hurts from the long day I have had. All of us are exhausted, and this is only the first day of this great battle. What lies ahead? By the Founders, I will not waver or cower in fear, whatever the Com Guards may oppose us with. The rest of my Star has already retired to their bunks, and I think I shall join them. That is all for now.

 _ **Entry 396: May 6th, 3052**_

Beta Galaxy's fortunes reversed themselves yesterday, as did mine. It was so sudden, so shocking... so humiliating.

At first, the Com Guards' 121st Division had stood in our way, those poor surats. They fought with spirit, but it made no difference against us at first. Star Colonel Ivan DelVillar led my Cluster onwards in his _Kodiak_ in a rare instance of his battle fury. Normally, the Star Colonel is quiet and patient, a bear watching its target from a distance. Yesterday, the bear's coiled muscles had sprung, and not even Star Captain Tseng's strength could have matched his fury.

What a sight! DelVillar's _Koadiak_ had seemed indestructible as it shrugged off Com Guards attacks and led the 32nd Assault Cluster over a wide bridge. Friendly aerospace forces were swooping this way and that, and the Com Guards defenders drew back at a steady pace, giving ground like it was worth nothing to them. Candace and Thonn nearly got themselves destroyed in their haste to follow the Star Colonel's example, and Ursina and I fought hard to cover their flanks. When the battle-fury gets in our minds, it is difficult to shake off.

So much pristine farmland and pasture turned into burning craters and churned earth, and I wondered for a moment what the locals would think of their land once the great battle was finally over. Such is the toll of battle! It is not my job to help the farmers plant their wheat and carrots; I am here to make sure that the Clans' banners fly over this farmland once the farmers can return. The FRR has already lost many worlds to us, and I intend for them to lose this one, too. (Tukayyid is in what little is left of FRR space.)

But I might not stick around to see it.

After that initial battle, journal, Beta and Delta Galaxies pushed hard for the city Luk, which beckoned to us like some cornucopia. So close! Star Colonel DelVillar did not slow down in the slightest, and neither did the other commanders. I could feel the excitement rising in my chest, almost feel Luk's suburbs under my fingertips! My battle-worn _Stormcrow-_ C seemed to agree, pushing on even though some parts are about to break off. But I could not have imagined what came next.

Once again, the wily Com Guards had a surprise for us.

When we drew even nearer to Luk, enemy units emerged like ghosts from hidden positions! I now know that they are the 12th and 91st Divisions, and the 20th Polar Bear Attack Cluster of Delta Galaxy suffered the worst of it. Freebirth! I can still picture their 'Mechs being swallowed up in fire, or jerking and spasming as enemy fire tore into them. Even the Elementals were scattered and confused, and they had no chance to organize a counter-attack. Other units of Delta and Beta came under similar fire, and not even Star Colonel DelVillar's battle-fury could reverse this situation. He ordered his Star Captains to retreat along with the rest of our Galaxy.

It was chaos like nothing I had seen! It was all we could do to keep ourselves together, after the initial shock and losses of the ambush. Otherwise, we may have been victorious, but not like this. Our losses were mounting, and I myself did not leave that battlefield intact. That is correct, journal: a Com Guards _Marauder_ had zeroed in on me, and that Star League war machine showed me no mercy. It was all I could do to relieve that _Marauder_ of its right arm until its remaining weapons breached my engine. The warning lights came on at once, all over my cockpit, and I had known better than to ignore them.

Ejection is a... stressful thing, journal. You feel yourself flattened into your command couch as the thrusters activate, and you feel your mind go fuzzy, indistinct as the flames roar around you. I was in open air in a matter of seconds, and fortunately for me, my parachute activated properly. All the same, the impact was still a hard one, and my right arm and leg both suffered for it. The Elemental who recovered me had been most delicate, to prevent further injury on my part. I still do not know his or her name, but I will make sure to find out and thank that warrior. Without that Elemental, I would have been taken bondsman by the Com Guards (the very thought!) or trampled under a 'Mech's foot.

As you may have guessed, journal, I write this in the medical bay of a Dropship belonging to Beta Galaxy, and I am certainly not the only warrior in here. Some are in better condition, others worse. A MechWarrior from the Seventh Bear Guards took a turn for the worse and bled out before the doctors could save her. Such a loss; I always admired the Seventh. May she be replaced by an equally worthy warrior from a fine sibko.

Do not pity me, journal, or anyone who may one day read this. I am fully responsible for all fortune and disaster that comes to me on the battlefield; I know that the Founders' spirits are watching me, but it is by my hand that I live or die. Today, I lived, and I will not squander that fact. What is more, I fully intend to request an accelerated treatment so I may fit myself into a cockpit and resume the battle. Luk has still not been taken, and the longer this battle goes, the more its fortunes will favor the Com Guards. I cannot rest here forever! I was too wearly to talk at first, but soon, I shall make my case. I will update you, journal, when I have made progress. By no means will I take this lying down, so to speak. There is a battle to be won!

That is all for today.


	14. Chapter 14

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 397: May 8th, 3052**_

I will not even attempt to pronounce, or spell, the name of the bacterial infection that has taken hold in my right arm and leg.

Whatever it is, the doctors were quick to identify it this morning, and the looks on their faces filled me with dread. Apparently, it is common in the Free Rasalhague Republic, often carried aboard civilian DropShips and spread around. Often in history have invading soldiers fallen ill to a foreign land's diseases, especially on pre-spaceflight Terra. I have read the histories. And now, a fast-acting strain of bacterium has settled into my injured limbs.

Stravag.

I would write harsher words, but the doctors gave me morphine for the pain as the bacteria try to rot and eat the flesh of my right arm and leg. They assure me that I will not die, and that if the FRR locals can cope with this disease, then I certainly can, with superior Clan medical knowledge. Good; not even dying in a dezgra unit in the heat of battle is as ridiculous as dying in bed to an illness! I am not the only one ill in this medical DropShip; those Inner Sphere barbarians think us Clanners invincible, and I am glad that they are not here to see this and thus have that illusion shattered. There are some things you do not want the enemy to see.

I feel only a deep, throbbing pain in my afflicted arm and leg as I write this. It is lucky that I am left-handed, or else I would have to dictate this, and I have grown fond of feeling my pen making strokes on paper. It gives me a pleasant and familiar sensation to latch onto during this ordeal. My fellows of the 32nd are fighting the Com Guards for the future of Terra, and I am here, bedridden. My anger at this situation was much worse this morning, but I have eased myself into a sense of calm. I do not think my commanders would approve of a warrior throwing a tantrum at something that he cannot change.

That is all for today. Little happens here, aside from the occasional patient crashing or news trickling in from the front, from my Clan and the others. I will write, journal, if something particular occurs.

 _ **Entry 398: May 10th, 3052**_

As promised, journal, I have come back with updates. No, the battle for Tukayyid is not yet over, and judging by the reports coming in, no one can yet say how everything will turn out. We of the Clans are fighting, and may the Founders' wisdom lead us onwards. To what, I will have to wait and see. I hope for the best, for it sounds like the Smoke Jaguars and Diamond Sharks need it, and badly.

I had visitors today. The officers of the 32nd Assault Cluster are busy with planning new ways to assault the city of Luk, but the Points have more free time between engagements. While their 'Mechs are being refitted and repaired, my Starmates visited me, both out of curiosity and obligation.

Thonn was less than sympathetic when he accompanied Quentin, Ursina, and Candace into the med bay where I am now. I was hardly surprised or angry when he berated me for being forced to eject against the 12th and 91st Com Guards Divisions when the rest of our Trinary escaped with their 'Mechs still functional. He even said that he will "reap the glory for both of us, and your codex will envy mine". Let me say, journal, that Thonn was never very eloquent with... well, anything. He fights like a maniac, and always with the intent for the commanding officers to take notice and nominate him for promotions. I am confident that in the long run, my codex will not only not fall short of his, but surpass his. Thonn never took the long view, unlike me.

Enough about Thonn. Ursina and Candace had kinder words for me, and Ursina was apologetic that she could not have prevented that _Marauder_ from defeating me. "I should have slain it," she had said during her visit. "Michael, the Com Guards are not worth zellbrigen! I would have fought two-on-one to get you out of there." Needless to say, Thonn was disgusted by her words and made that feeling clear on his face, but Ursina ignored him completely. I myself am torn about this; if Ursina had broken zellbrigen to aid me, I would have my _Stormcrow_ -C intact and no broken limbs. But the shame of needing such reinforcements! Not that I am ungrateful for Ursina's desire to assist me, but... well, it is complicated no matter how I think about it. It is a moot point, anyway, and that fact excuses me from having to worry about it.

Candace, meanwhile, made it clear that she would fight and destroy every Com Guards 'Mech, armored tank, and aerospace fighter unlucky enough to get in her crosshairs so our fellows need not suffer like me. This is her idea of sympathy; if one person hurts you, she will slay a thousand of the instigator's friends. She would try and conquer Tukayyid herself, I wager.

I have never felt more grateful.

Candace assured me that she would return and visit me every chance she got during the Luk campaign, even if she did so alone, so she could tell me, in her own words, how well she and the 32nd are fighting the Com Guards. She wants me to hear in her voice, and see in her eyes, her fury and lust for victory, as a way to lift my spirits. A part of me is afraid that her zeal and reckless rage will get her killed like this, but who am I to talk her out of it? No one can. She does not have the patience of a ghost bear, only the fury when it strikes. Or, more like a Smoke Jaguar with a chip on her shoulder, and I actually told her that as a sort of joke. Candace laughed, but I think she took it as advice, in a way.

Quentin had no real opinion to share either way, only telling me, in that flat voice of his, that he will keep his ears open for updates on my condition, and that of other injured warriors of Beta Galaxy. Quentin is thinking in terms of logistics and numbers and probabilities, and such things are part of what makes him the ristar that he is. Though up close, I can see the strain more than ever. When was the last time he slept for more than a nap's worth? He is taut, like a myomer muscle in action, and I have heard myomers snap before. It is a nasty sound. I did not tell Quentin any of this, however. He would dismiss any concern from me, not out of arrogance or disdain for me, but simply because he does not want the distraction. His mind is always on those campaign maps and mental calculations.

A few hours after my Starmates left for patrol, I overheard a doctor mentioning something about experimental bodily enhancement options, and I am almost certain that he had glanced at me while saying it to the medical staff. Are they preparing to make me an offer? A test subject for advanced medicine or cyborg technology? After all, warriors with conditions worse than mine had been restored to fighting form. Not always with total success (there are many horror stories of treatments gone wrong), but I am intrigued by the idea. I burn to return to the battlefield! I cannot let these flesh-eating Rasalhague bacteria hobble me like this. Perhaps tomorrow, or sometime after that, I will have my answer, journal. And you will know about it right away.

Perhaps it is best that I close your pages for now, journal. I need to rest, and I feel that my next update should encompass more than daily updates. Perhaps by then, I will tell you whether the battle for Tukayyid ended up as glorious victory for the Clans... or a humiliating defeat bundled with a 15-year truce line.

I shall let you know.


	15. Chapter 15

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 400: May 15th, 3052**_

I cannot hold myself back from sharing the news, journal. Clan Ghost Bear has claimed the city of Spanac. We cannot take Luk.

My last few entries were based on tenuous hope against the Com Guards for victory for my Clan, and my speculative thoughts on the continuing campaign kept me awake, alongside the rather painful treatments of my right arm and leg. But not even the flesh-eating bacteria in my limbs chilled me as much as my Starmates' expressions when they joined me here in the medical bay. I sat upright at once in my bed, all attention on them.

Star Commander Quentin took the lead. Freebirth, that haggard look on his face froze my soul as he gripped my bedside rails. "ilKhan Kerensky declared Clan Ghost Bear's campaign a draw, more or less. There is no going back against his word. Not even Galaxy Commander Tseng or Khan Jorgensson can appeal this decision. We are to leave Tukayyid as soon as we can."

I cannot forget those words from the Star Commander, for they struck me so deeply. How? Why?! We have come so far, and the bear's claws had sunken into Spanac in due time. But the Com Guards... Star Commander Quentin did not have access to classified, top-brass details, but he knew enough from what Star Colonel DelVillar had apparently told him.

We must soon say good-bye to Tukayyid.

Is there any comfort, journal, in the face of such soul-crushing news? There is, in fact. Consider this: our Khan's wise decisions, and our military might, allowed Clan Ghost Bear to suffer relatively few losses from the entire campaign, unlike the Smoke Jaguars and Diamond Sharks. Our Clan has failed, but we are still here. And I would like to see the Com Guards try and eject us entirely from the Inner Sphere! Surely, they cannot. I can imagine it now, their armies trying to chase us all the way back into the Periphery. Ha! We have bled and fought for these occupied worlds, and the freebirth Com Guards will not pry them loose from us!

I hear, however, that Clan Wolf is nearing victory in its objectives of capturing Skupo and Brzo. Star Commander Quentin, due to his consant grudge against the Wolves, studied them obsessively to note any tactical weaknesses of theirsk, both during and after the battle. He assured me that in any future clashes with that Clan, he will personally make sure that the Ghost Bears are ready to counter them. This is a good chance to study a potential enemy, he says.

I imagine that only the Jade Falcons hate the Wolves more than he does.

I can still hardly believe the news that the Ghost Bears are retreating from Tukayyid like this. But I can still turn to these other updates for renewed hope. Should the Wolf Clan attack us, we shall be prepared. But then again, will they not be ready for us, too? It is possible. The Wolves have unconventional leadership and tactical minds on their side, most of all the aging but clever Natasha Kerensky and that bondsman-turned-warrior, Phelan Wolf. I keep hearing stories of them, and while Thonn and Candace scoff at the very mention of their name, I stop to listen more carefully. Perhaps one day, we may find a fault in those two and counter them? I imagine that Star Commander Quentin would love that. I, for one, would savor the BattleROM of a simulator session between the Star Commander and Phelan Wolf. Whose claws are sharper?

As I write this, journal, there are more than enough Trials of Grievance breaking out among all three Galaxies present here on Tukayyid, mainly to vent frustration or to allow warriors to blame each other for certain events in the campaign that led to our draw. Already, Thonn has accused, and defeated, four warriors he blamed for the outcomes of recent skirmishes. Candace accepted and won a Trial that was issued to her, though she suffered two broken fingers and some serious bruising. She is staying here in the medical bay until the DropShip lifts off. I am glad for her company, and I wish her a speedy recovery. Which I am sure that she will have. She could practically will her fingerbones to mend with that attitude of hers.

Anyway, the patients here in critical condition, including me, will be placed into safe pods for the stress of the DropShip's liftoff. The pods look rather menacing from the outside, but I hear that they are perfectly safe. I only wish that I could leave Tukayyid in my bunk, browsing uplifting passages of _The Remembrance_ or tussling with Candace and Thonn in Circles of Equals.

I am weary, journal. My head feels fuzzy and heavy, and I can barely focus enough on the page to write this. I dearly wish that my arm and leg could recover faster. I will keep an ear out for an offer for advanced medical treatment. Even if there are risks, I will want such treatment. Anything to get me back onto the battlefield.

Where I belong.

 _ **Entry 404: June 12th, 3052**_

Journal, I am told that I will never be totally free of the flesh-eating bacteria strain that infected my right atm and leg. Does that mean I will soon succumb? I will not.

The infection is too deep, the doctors told me, to cure me entirely. However, members of the Scientist caste have devised a few medical advances ever since Operation REVIVAL began, and now, I have been outfitted with cybernetic enhancements in my afflicted limbs. I shudder at the very thought; we of the Clans disapprove of bodily enhancements, as I have mentioned a few times over the years. But this is only to contain my illness and minimize its effects. Capsules of treatment serum have been woven into my muscles and anchored to my mended bones, and tiny computers inside regulate the dosages according to what their sensors read. Quite a marvel, to restrain what could have been a fatal infection!

Right now, my right arm and leg have reddish-black skin from the disease, and it is a ghastly sight. But I was assured that my skin will resume its usual tone in a matter of months, and full function will be restored even before then. I am smiling as I write this, journal. At last, I am certain that I will return to the battlefield! Even if I must silently carry this disease in my arm and leg. So be it.

Now, what is happening to the Clan at large? By Khan Jorgennson's wisdom, and with the help of saKhan Tseng, Clan Ghost Bear's losses have been relatively light and manageable. Star Colonel DelVillar, in his daily briefing with the 32nd Assault Cluster, told us, in his typical quiet tone, that the Khans are working tirelessly to prepare Clan Ghost Bear to defend its holdings. After all, we have lost Tukayyid (this fact still smarts), but handfuls of former FRR and House Kurita worlds are ours, and certainly worth defending! Mainly from Clans Smoke Jaguar and Wolf; the former, because they want an outlet for their anger over Tukayyid's outcome, and the latter, because they seem to think themselves entitled to anything they want. Stravag Wolves! Khan Natasha Kerensky thinks that she can pick any fight she wants, what with that freeborn Phelan Wolf by her side! Forgive me, journal; the very topic of Clan Wolf and its peculiar leaders always arouses my anger. Let me leave this topic.

Operation Scorpion is mercifully over. I have already shared the details in earlier entries, journal, but word has reached my Cluster's ears that Anastasius Focht, the mastermind of the Battle of Tukayyid, assassinated Primus Myndo Waterly (what a name!), and took her place. It seems that he is even launching some reforms in ComStar. I only have those scant details, and not even my Clan's high command, or that of Clan Wolf, know much more. But changes are spreading rapidly across the Inner Sphere, for the native freeborns and the Clans alike. It sends a shiver of excitement and apprehension down my spine. Five years ago, I was on Arcadia, preparing for my Trial to enter the Warrior caste. How much simpler those times were! But time only marches forward, and the Ghost Bears will march alongside it. This is for certain.

Does all this mean I will see some action soon? I would be surprised if I did not! The Smoke Jaguars are as restless as ever on the border between our two Clans' occupation zones, and perhaps the Draconis Combine may launch raids to take back some worlds from my Clan's paws. Let them try! Oh, I remember the thrill and joy I felt, fighting the DCMS on their own soil. They easily proved to be any Clan's best opponent! Their skill, their bravery, their relative adherance to a code of honor... the FRR's KungsArme was a farce on the battlefield, and the ComGuards are dezgra like nothing else I have ever seen. But the samurai-MechWarriors of House Kurita... now that is a potential fight that I relish.

The warriors of my Trinary spend our evenings in our bunks eagerly exchanging ideas of what such battles may be like, and whether we can expand our Clan's occupation zone soon. Candace boasted the loudest stories, earning her both cheers and rhetorical batchalls to a Circle of Equals. Candace is even talking of having a lightning-based paint job applied to her _Nova_ , to show her love of her 'Mech's twin ER PPCs. I have seen those weapons in action, and I can appreciate the idea.

Ursina mentioned that she may also want new paint on her 'Mech, but she has not decided what pattern to use. One warrior from the command Star suggested a Ghost Bear pinning the ComStar logo under its bloody paws, but Ursina did not seem thrilled by the suggestion. At that point, Thonn grew impatient and taunted Ursina, saying that at this rate, she should have a cuddly bear cub painted on her _Nova_ 's torso if she did not adopt a more warrior-like attitude soon. She calmly told him to keep his "surat-brained" ideas to himself. As a result of this. they will meet for a Trial of Grievance tomorrow morning.

I always liked Ursina.

I suppose I should stop there for today, journal. My next few entries will probably be fairly routine, until the call for battle is sounded. Against whom: the DCMS, Clan Smoke Jaguar, Clan Wolf... that answer lies ahead of me.


	16. Chapter 16

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 418: September 20th, 3052**_

I can feel the Wolves prowling around the borders of the Ghost Bear Occupation Zone, journal. And I am not the only one: Galaxy Commander Laurie Tseng has kept Beta Galaxy on high alert, and our Clusters are restlessly pacing up and down our zone, wary for wolves. Those mutts have been probing our defenses ever since the Battle of Tukayyid ended, and perhaps the Wolves' successes on that world has made them confident. Unfortunately, I cannot necessarily say that they have been made _overconfident_. We may have a serious battle or two on our hands soon, and if the Wolves draw blood, perhaps the Smoke Jaguars will pounce like they always do.

I apologize for the blunt summary, journal, but I am so tense! And the weight in my right arm and leg are not helping at all. I am effectively cured of my disease, but only with the cybernetic implants in place, woven into my flesh, administering my defenses one dosage at a time. Freebirth! To think that I nearly died to bacteria, and these tiny machines in me are all that keep me going. I am in debt to the doctors and their technology, and while the Scientist caste of my Clan has always been admired, this utterly grates on my mind. I am sure that Thonn or Star Captain Tseng would go insane.

Oh, Star Captain Tseng! That is the real topic I wish to record here, journal. As I just wrote, we are all on edge, and the strain is showing among all the warriors, none more than Dean Tseng. For some weeks, he has been... different. On edge, snapping at others for no good reason, issuing and accepting challenges to ridiculous Trials of Grievance, always unaugmented. Some of the other warriors in my Trinary and I figured that he is still furious over the Truce of Tukayyid, but it has been eating at him like corrosive acid in his mind. And he has gone over the edge.

It happened so fast.

You see, journal, my Star Captain has always been one to let his actions speak for him, and his claw-like fingernails only add to that image. But the truth has come out: he is a slippery and conniving eel who has faced justice. Now, how can I speak that way of my superior officer? I will tell you why: his dezgra ways were finally exposed in the Clan Ghost Bear council, and a warrior's justice was dealt swiftly.

Forgive me; I am recounting this rather erratically, and with tantalizing details. Allow me to put it plainly: my Clan's council found ample evidence of Dean Tseng's under-the-table plotting. He has become obsessed with climbing the ranks, it seems, and determined to put himself into a position to practically defend our Clan's holdings single-handedly. In his rage after the Battle of Tukayyid, he felt that the only way to redeem his honor, and that of our Clan, is to gain a high rank (possibly Khan!) and handle everything himself, using his usual blunt aggression. It did not work. All kinds of bribes, secret deals, and other deception and schemes have been uncovered, and the Star Captain was hauled right to the council.

Where he was overwhelmingly voted guilty, and he issued a Trial of Refusal.

How did _that_ turn out? Dean Tseng stepped onto the battlefield in his usual _Warhawk_ , and he faced seven OmniMechs piloted by council members. How did the Star Captain fare, fighting alone against seven Bloodnamed warriors? I am shaking my head in dismay and amusement as I write this, journal. He only damaged one enemy 'Mech before succumbing. Did his blind anger and terror of being discovered make him sloppy? I cannot say, not do I care at this point. He was killed in action, and his Bloodname slot opened up. Who will take it? After all, it is tainted with Dean's rotten plotting and reckless anger. I am curious to see how that little affair turns out.

What does this mean for the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster? As of this evening, Star Commander Quentin and one other, Star Commander Frederick, have been nominated for a Trial to replace Dean Tseng as Star Captain. Star Colonel Ivan DelVillar spoke to us in a quiet voice that did not fool anyone when he told us that he looked forward to seeing who would step into Dean Tseng's shoes. I could easily read the excitement in the Star Colonel's voice, and Candace and Ursina and I talked late into the night conjecturing and casually betting on all this.

Thonn, meanwhile, is hoping that Star Commander Quentin gets the promotion, so that _he_ can become our new Star Commander. Star Colonel DelVillar, however, has "a list of top five candidates" among my Trinary's warriors and he has not yet revealed the names on that list. Is _mine_ on that list? I doubt it, given the shame of my ejection early in the Battle of Tukayyid and how I carry a disease in my right arm and leg. Candace was kind to me when she expressed her doubt that I was on that top-five list, and she assured me that I am an excellent Starmate, and equally satisfying lover in our bunk every night. That is good enough for me.

Until next week, journal.

 _ **Entry 419: September 14th, 3052**_

I can breathe easy, journal. The turmoil in the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster is already over, and we can move on from the taint of Dean Tseng's insidious plot. Why is that? I have a new Star Captain: Quentin.

I, and the others of my Trinary, were all given the BattleROM of the Trials of Position for the rank of Star Captain. Each of the five nominees faced the exact same odds on the same battlefield, and the warrior who gave the best performance won the position. So, needless to say, my name was _not_ on that list, and neither was Candace's, or even Thonn's. Quentin crushed the opposition, with the second-best performance coming from Star Commander Vreena from the command Star of the 32nd. She is elegant on the battlefield, and a small part of me wanted _her_ to win the position. I have rarely written about Vreena before, journal, but that is because she often keeps her head down and does whatever her officers tell her. A practically invisible warrior... until she has a prize laid out before her! Her _Gargoyle_ moves like no other assault 'Mech I have ever seen. Perhaps I should keep a closer watch on her, and record whatever else she accomplishes.

The Trials allowed a maximum score of 300 against three opponents, and Quentin, even when piloting a mere _Stormcrow_ prime against three foes, achieved a score of 267! By the Founders, it was one of the finest BattleROMs I have ever seen, and when Quentin completed his Trial on the screen, Thonn actually whooped with glee and punched the air. Perhaps because Quentin often gives him the best offensive positions in battlefield tactics? Probably. Thonn eagerly told us how he expects many more chances for glory under Star Captain Quentin's leadership. I could not mistake the bloodthirsty gleam in his eyes. To be honest, it concerns me, just a little bit. Thonn has overextended his reach before, though I have hopes that Quentin will keep him on a leash.

Of course, not everyone was happy about this. Placing third in the Trial's rankings, Star Commander Frederick challenged Star Colonel Ivan DelVillar to a Trial of Refusal unaugmented, and after two rounds of fighting, the Star Colonel pummeled Frederick and sent him to the medbay. Even more interesting was how Star Commander Frederick actually requested to see me, alone. So I did, and at once, he grilled me with questions about Quentin and the Star Colonel, trying to figure out some angle or exploitable fact about either or both of them. What was I to do? I gave him honest answers, but neither did I want to encourage any more misled Trials of Refusal or Grievance! I am content with Quentin taking Dean Tseng's place, and not just because he is from my own Star. Eventually, Star Commander Frederick realized that I was not going to help him conspire against anybody, so he asked me to leave. I do _not_ want another Dean Tseng situation in the 32nd!

At least Star Commander Vreena accepted the results in good spirits. In fact, she openly congatulated Star Captain Quentin, and he said thank you, but I could sense the tension in him. Stravag! It seems that Quentin is still winding himself too tight, to put it mildly. He is bitter as ever about the Truce of Tukayyid and the 32nd's mediocre performance in the battle, and all this only seems to fuel his obsessive ways. I doubt he even sleeps anymore, and he is stone-silent at meals or during R&R. And now he has more responsibility, commanding our entire Trinary. Perhaps it is best that I do not confront him; after all, he has snapped at me, and Ursina, before. But I will keep watch. I cannot believe I am saying this, but I see a real chance that Quentin's mental strain may negatively impact our Trinary, or the entire Cluster. If so, Star Colonel DelVillar will be the first to know about it.

I believe I have caught you up on the latest development,s journal. I hope that my Cluster sees action soon, so I may test myself, and I can see what kind of leader Star Captain Quentin turns out to be. I look forward to it.


	17. Chapter 17

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 422: October 25th, 3052**_

Journal, I am somewhat less confident in my new Star Commander, Minna. I have mentioned her a few times, and how I believe her a perfectly competent replacement for Quentin? In my excitement about Star Captain Quentin's promotion, I neglected to mention her until recently. My Starmates accepted her without any complaints, and she gets along well with Ursina. So, what is the problem here?

House Kurita.

Star Commander Minna is anxious about their next possible move, and the stress of a possible impending attack, combined with her new responsibility, together seem to weigh too heavily on her mind. I can even see it on her face. Out of respect for her station, I will not question her on this, but I quietly hope that she dispels her fear very soon.

It seems that Theodore Kurita is not content to let us Ghost Bears sit in his backyard and bask in the suns of the Draconis Combine. I have already seen a few political cartoons, both Clan and DCMS in origin, of a large, white bear wearing a neuro-helmet lounging in Theodore Kurita's backyard, while Theodore fruitlessly pokes it with a katana. I laughed out loud the first time I saw those images, but now, that katana may pierce the bear's hide.

Star Colonel DelVillar wasted no time in gathering his Cluster's warriors and bringing us to our base's main meeting room. This world, Setubal, is apparently one of several worlds that the samurai-MechWarriors of House Kurita may soon assault. And it is not just Clan Ghost Bear that Theodore is poking; intel shows that DCMS forces are also massing at the borders of Clan Smoke Jaguar's occupation zone. It seems that the Battle of Tukayyid's outcome has stirred Theodore's warrior spirit!

There is little else I can say for today, journal, except that Star Commander Frederick taunted Star Commander Minna about her clear anxiety, and she took it poorly. She challenged him to a Trial of Grievance, but both warriors performed so sloppily, and so fruitlessly, that Star Captain Quentin broke them up and threatened to report their poor behavior to Star Colonel DelVillar. I am not certain, but perhaps the Star Colonel would have assigned them both to latrine duty.

In fact, Thonn offered to fight Frederick in Minna's place, but he sounded rather half-hearted about it; maybe he is conflicted between wanting to earn Minna's favor, and being less than impress by her warrior spirit? I can hardly say. Candace, meanwhile, is willing to give Star Commander Minna "a solid chance to prove herself on the battlefield", and I suppose that I will take the same stance. After all, I have seen warriors of varying ranks nearly have a panic attack before battle, only to have their will hardened by conflict and perform well. Though I have seen the opposite, too.

These are interesting times, journal, in the wake of Tukayyid. Soon, I expect, I will record the details of battle, stroke by stroke. If it is indeed the DCMS that we fight, I could do no less! House Kurita rather fascinates me. That is all for today.

 _ **Entry 424: November 15th, 3052**_

This week, journal, I will have to contain myself in order to write down everything in chronological order. Here I go.

As I predicted, House Kurita _did_ launch an ambitious series of assaults in the Ghost Bear and Smoke Jaguar occupation zones. Unfortunately, Clan Ghost Bear's meager space naval assets have been stretched thin recently, and this allowed DCMS JumpShips, escorted by pocket WarShips and aerospace fighters, to destroy or simply chase off the tiny naval defenses of our worlds closest to Terra. Alas, the bulk of our fleet is in the middle of our occupation zone. I imagine that Khan Jorgensson will order his Star Admirals to rearrange the fleets in light of these attacks. I am no naval officer, however; there is not much more I can say on this topic.

I do not know how many worlds total were hit as of today, but Setubal, this world where the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster is stationed, was among them. And what a unit the DCMS sent at us! A whole regiment (120 'Mechs total) plus support tanks and soldiers landed here and made a hard push for our command base. The enemy unit identified themselves to us as the 67th Dieron Cavaliers, and their utter speed and elegance on the battlefield made their name well-earned in my eyes.

Star Colonel DelVillar promptly unleashed the entire force of the 32nd. Why, I cannot say: was he apprehensive about fighting the single most powerful army in the Successor State, or was he simply in a bad mood and had no patience for bidding away his forces? There was little honor to be gained on that day, save for the fact that we went toe to toe with the exemplary samurai of House Kurita.

I have been piloting a _Stormcrow_ -A in the simpods recently, and it is a comfortable fit. Candace and Ursina agreed that it suits me well, and I rode this mount into battle when the 67th Dieron Cavaliers approached. That day proved to be the test for both Star Captain Quentin and my new Star Commander, Minna. I have, in short, mixed feelings about how that battle turned out.

Clearly, Theodore Kurita's generals were in no mood to tak things slow with us Clanners. I was duly impressed when I beheld the 67th's utter speed and ferocity. And yet, I did not sense any recklessness or blind anger in the 67th's movements, none at all. Such discipline! I was indeed fighting the DCMS, and the samurai-MechWarriors pressed their early advantage and forced the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster out of its strategic positions. For a few moments, I feared that the 67th would strike a critical point in our defenses and route us! The idea did not seem impossible, but all the same, I held my ground, as did my Starmates.

Star Captain Quentin, as usual, coordinated with the other Star Captains and set up a flexible, slippery defense that forced the 67th's warriors into bad positions in order to pursue what looked like good avenues of attack. Over and over, the 67th's warriors attempted to finish us off, only for Star Captain Quentin's tactics to close our exposed flanks, move our warriors into superior positions, and wear down the numerically superior enemy forces. And as for the enemy foot soldiers and tanks, our Elementals did a fine job keeping them at bay and forcing some pretty impressive casualties. In fact (and I grin as I write this) two Elementals mounted an enemy tank, tore off its cannon turret, and used it as a club to bash away some enemy foot soldiers like toys! There are times when I daydream about the Elementals' adventures, being muscle-bound giants in those fantastic armor suits of theirs. I have heard that the Inner Sphere's warriors were utterly terrified by Elementals during Operation REVIVAL's early days, and this is an amusing example of why.

On a similar note, my _Stormcrow_ -A proved why this 'Mech astounded the Inner Sphere with how much power is packed into this 55-ton frame. My LRMs did a fine job softening up the 67th Dieron Cavaliers' assault 'Mechs, and my medium pulse lasers and Streak SRM 6 allowed me to oblierate an enemy _Dragon_ in a duel. Candace, meanwhile, scored an impressive kill against an enemy _Griffin_ , and Thonn used his impressive aim to catch an enemy _Panther_ and shear it in half.

But the battle was not all glory, I admit. Despite Quentin's tactics, the 67th dealt us heavy damage, and my Trinary was at one point cut off from the rest of the unit. We escaped that deadly situation when Star Captain Quentin adjusted his defensive formations to aid us, but several 'Mechs of my Trinary were utterlty destroyed. I must confess that Star Commander Minna was among the casualties. She fought stubbornly, to be sure, but the pressure of command was clearly overwhelming her, and she could not escape her destruction. Neither could Star Commander Zachary in the 32nd's fourth Trinary. Both commanders have since been replaced.

In short, journal, Star Colonel DelVillar and Star Captain Quentin combined their efforts to finally render the 67th Dieron Cavaliers' attack unsustainable, and what remained of the regiment retreated to their DropShips. Star Colonel DelVillar saw fir to grant them hegira; again, I am not sure of his motives. Either he respects the DCMS more than I realized, or he simply felt that pursuing the 67th may have led to a deadly trap. Either way, the 67th Dieron Cavaliers have long since fled Setubal, and the Clan Ghost Bear flag still flies here.

All right; I cannot contain my excitement any longer, journal. Allow me to emphasize this next fact:

I PASSED MY TRIAL OF POSITION. I AM STAR COMMANDER MICHAEL.

Indeed! Star Colonel DelVillar immediately held Trials of Position for his lost officers, in case the DCMS decided to take advantage of the 32nd's damaged state. I faced competition from eight different MechWarriors from across the Cluster, and I scored the highest. Star Colonel DelVillar gave me a simple but warm congratulations as he pinned the Star Commander badge onto my uniform, and as usual, Star Captain Quentin was unreadable during the short ceremony. I like to think that he was proud of me and eager to see what I am capable of in this position. But I cannot say for sure. His eyes are like Ferro-Fibrous armor, shielding his thoughts.

I have my own Star now. There, I had to commit that to paper. _I command a Star!_ I refrained from outbursts of excitement here on base, since I have a sense of decorum, unlike Thonn. But Ursina very kindly showed me her support, and Candace and I celebrated my promotion all night in her bunk. She whispered many fond words into my ear, and I caressed every part of her body I could reach. We will go far in our careers together, Candace and I. We are also curious to meet the new warriors who bolster the 32nd's ranks from the rest of Beta Galaxy. A new warrior shall enter my Star, and I fully intend to lead that new warrior, and the rest, into battle with ferocity and grace.

I must stop there, journal. I admit, I could write long into the night about this, but I have recorded the facts that matter most. From now on, you shall hear the thoughts of a Clan Ghost Bear officer!


	18. Chapter 18

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 506: May 17th, 3054**_

I acquired a new scar today, journal. The circumstances under which I got that scar are less than flattering, though, so I will be brief on the details of the actual fight. The meta-politics around the scuffle are more interesting, actually.

Funny. I flipped through the earlier pages of this journal, and I wrote that I used to fear the idea of scars, seeing them as ugly. Now I have three on my face. Those sibko days seem pretty far away by now.

Anyway. I am still here on Kaesong, and I am growing weary of this freebirth planet! Granted, it is worth defending, and Star Colonel DelVillar will not hear me complain (he has heard enough complaints from the other warriors already!). Here in the city Vedsan, civil unrest is still growing. Khan Jorgensson had re-instated power to the local government, but the locals still hate us. Some Kuritans here formed an extremist cell called the Eye of the Dragon, and the Eye, using resources none of us Ghost Bears predicted, struck at us again this week.

What was the damage? Nothing serious, and the rebellion is nearly gone by now, pinned under the Ghost Bear's paw. But Eye of the Dragon rebels _did_ break into a few garrisons here, maybe four or five. I will find the exact figure later. Let me just say that one of the targeted garrisons had nothing but Elementals. Ha! I can only imagine the Eye extremists' look of horror when they broke in, only to have massive Elementals bear down on them.

But my garrison was targeted as well, and a number of guards were slain as Eye fighters stormed the building. We fought them off, but only after much bloodshed. I had disarmed one such rebel, only to have him draw the knife from my belt and take a wild swing at me. Stravag! Scarred by my own knife! That is right, journal; the weapon turned on its master. I have half a mind to discard it. Then again, maybe not. I will decide tomorrow.

That Eye rebel's attack drew a scar on my left temple, going nearly straight down to the corner of my mouth. It is my longest scar; the first is a short one over my right eyebrow, and the second, a five-centimeter one that starts near my right ear and down to my jaw in a diagonal line. I was smooth-skinned upon arriving as a fresh-faced Point in Operation REVIVAL. Now, two years into my Star command, I have acquired three. How many more are to come? Maybe I should not overthink this. If it happens, it happens. As long as no scars impede my vision ot hearing or any other bodily sense. I will _not_ allow it! At all!

The Eye of the Dragon's failed uprising is the bulk of what I have dealt with in the past week, journal. Right now, it is 19:44 hours local time, and as I sit here on my bunk writing this, I can hear distant crackles of random gunfire or the hum of lasers. It should die down soon, though. These rebels counted on surprise and speed to overwhelm us, and now that we have struck back, we nearly have control again. By sunrise, things should be secure.

I would rather it not come to this, however! My Star command as taught me a few things, and those lessons are here in this journal. Here is another one: have a long-term plan in mind, or your short-term gambit will seem very flimsy, very soon. You know, that would be a fine lesson to teach those ridiculous Ice Hellions back in the Homeworlds. I have never fought them, as you well know, but I know them by reputation. This rebellion reminded me of the Hellions for some reason. Am I homesick? Probably not. The Inner Sphere feels more like home every day. How about that.

 _ **Entry 519: July 20th, 3054**_

Once again, the DCMS launched a raid on the Ghost Bear occupation zone, a heavy strike here on Kaesong. But that is not what worries the most right now. The 32nd Bears Assault Cluster has different, more inwards-facing problems.

The 32nd continues to hold Kaesong, and Star Colonel DelVillar, despite the opposition, had bid away one Trinary of 'Mechs and a Binary of Elementals. At first, that bid had seemed reasonable against the Kuritan force that had landed here. But halfway through the battle, the samurai-MechWarriors nearly reversed the battle's tide, and it was through Star Colonel DelVillar's quick thinking that we reshifted the battle into terms that favored us. After suffering acceptable losses, we drove the Kuritans away.

Leaving one issue: Star Captain Quentin.

He is at that point. I can feel it, journal, and so can my Starmates. He seemed to have a panic attack on the battlefield, and to my eyes, he nearly turned dezgra in the face of the enemy. My Trinary was out of position and Quentin failed to work with the rest of our forces. He recklessly pushed us against the enemy force, and my _Stormcrow_ was nearly destroyed, as was Candace's. Ursina survived with minimal damage, and I commend her. But the last Starmate, the most recent of several, was killed in action, his 'Mech turned to scrap. Quentin did not care.

And that is not all, journal. Quentin's behavior... I can only put this bluntly, but he is erratic, rash, brittle. He has been this way for some time, and we have suffered one too many times for it. I did what I had to: back at our Cluster's garrison, I confronted the Star Captain and brought up the issue. He dared me to make something of my words, and I saw only madness and exhaustion in his eyes. I therefore challenged him to an augmented Trial of Grievance.

Our 'Mechs were given priority repairs, and we met on a hilly field just outside Vedsan's city limits. I know; it sounds like a bit much, given the Eye of the Dragon's revolt, the threat of Smoke Jaguar raids, and the recent, bloody battle. But I had had enough! Star Captain Quentin had cost me a Starmate, and easily could have caused much worse losses had the Star Colonel not intervened, and Quentin's madness had manifested itself on the battlefield, so I would face him in similar conditions. So, my _Stormcrow_ -A faced off against the Star Captain's _Nova-_ A.

I have always known Star Captain Quentin, ever since my early sibko days on distant Arcadia, as an exemplary 'Mech pilot. No longer; his mind is frayed, worn thin by his obsessive drive. I admire ambition and hard work like any other warrior, but this is... well, I have made my thoughts clear on this already, quiaff? Star Captain Quentin fought well at first, using his UAC 5 and large pulse laser to good effect, strafing with great speed. Once I returned fire and bloodied him with LRMs, he grew feral.

I closed the distance between us, and my Streak SRM 6s badly damaged his UAC arm, and my medium pulse lasers severed the limb. The Star Captain's large pulse laser ruined one of my Streak SRM 6 launchers in retaliation, but he had little firepower left to offer against me, and his movements were becoming jerky and uncertain. He was mentally rattled, and I did my duty and took advantage of that. I robbed him of his remaining firepower and damaged his right leg. "Stand down, Star Captain," I had told him on the comm. "I have proven my point."

At that, the Star Captain screamed obsenities at me until I broke the bones of his _Nova_ 's other leg and crippled the entire 'Mech. Star Colonel DelVillar declared me the winner of the Trial, and for a few hours, I had been content that various Beta Galaxy officers would investigate Star Captain Quentin's behavior and codex and possibly declare him dezgra.

Thonn changed that.

In no time, it seemed, Thonn challenged me to a Trial of Refusal over the investigation that resulted from my duel. My _Stormcrow_ was in no shape to fight an augmented Trial, but Thonn made it clear that he wanted an unaugmented duel anyway. So, we met in a Circle of Equals, surrounded by our peers... and he defeated me after three close rounds. Freebirth! I know exactly why he did it: Star Captain Quentin liked to channel Thonn's reckless aggression and excellent aim and battlefield instincts, so the Star Captain often gave him favor. Indulgence! And now that I had made a move against Thonn's personal hero, he retaliated like this. I should have predicted this. Never would Thonn want Star Captain Quentin to be replaced by someone who would _not_ indulge his ferocity. Thonn cared not for our Trinary's well-being, but for filling his own codex with vicious battlefield exploits.

The only good news from this ordeal is that I did not suffer any serious injuries, such as broken bones, so I will be released from the med bay in just a day or two. I am bruised, however, and both my pride and confidence in our Trinary are also wounded. Twice today were superior officers challenged by their inferiors, and _this_ is the end result? The Star Captain will surely lose his mind and get us all killed, and Thonn simply does not care. I should note that Ursina and Candace are starting to share my concern, but they do not see fit to challenge the Star Captain to any further Trials of Grievance. Should I do so once again? I cannot say. But I _can_ say that I will not let the 32nd Assault Cluster collapse from this madness.

I have no more to share today, journal. Perhaps next week, I will have something more uplifting to write.


	19. Chapter 19

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 521: August 5th, 3054**_

My Trial of Grievance against Star Captain Quentin, and Thonn's Trial of Refusal on the Council's investigation of Quentin's mental well-being, is still causing some ripples in the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster. Rarely do junior officers challenge their superiors anywhere in the Ghost Bear Clan, and among us Bears, warriors who mentally or physically suffer are supported and given the community's support, not challenged. There are exceptions, however... such as mine. Some warriors are impressed by my bravado, and a few even encouraged me to challenge my Star Captain again right away (I would rather wait for a better context for a Trial) and others think I should "learn my place" by working among the laborers for a month.

After the fourth laborer taunt, I challenged the offending warrior to an unaugmented Trial of Grievance. He is now in the med bay with two cracked ribs.

There is more. A development that, I believe, has rocked my Trinary more than any Trial of Grievance! Actually, it was caused _by_ my Trial of Grievance against Star Captain Quentin. Probably. I am not completely certain, but I know how Star Colonel DelVillar's mind works, and this next move was just like him. He must think that my bravado must be tested further, or perhaps I am the only one with the guts to handle this new challenge.

I have a new warrior in my Star, a warrior who rotated in from the 14th Battle Cluster. She rotated in alone, which is definitely unusual in my Clan. Rarely do warriors rotate on a smaller basis than a Star at a time, given our values of close friends and trusted companions. So, when I found out that a _lone_ warrior entered my Star, I was wary, as were my Starmates. Star Captain Quentin, who has not spoken to me since our 'Mech duel, broke his silence to order me to greet her.

She is Carly GhostBear, an abtakha warrior who hails from - you will hardly believe this, journal - Clan Jade Falcon. My first impressions of her were... not the best. She has a manic energy and spirit like Candace, but unlike Candace's camaraderie and sense of loyalty, Carly likes to, well, isolate people with her, either emotionally or physically. As though she wants to measure herself against each of us one by one. Is that her compensation for being the new face in a Star of warriors familiar to each other? Or is that just her personality?

Carly, according to her codex, is two years my senior and was born into the House of Roshak on Ironhold. From there, her record is fairly average, except for her repeated rotation among Jade Falcon units in that Clan's Beta Galaxy. The reason? Behavioral issues. And I saw them for myself: she is loud, boasts, and is quick to challenge anyone's word and ruthlessly evaluate the warrior for herself. Thinking out loud seems to be her preferred method for... everything, really. Carly integrated herself as my subordinate and defers to my rank, but her body language, and that look in her eyes, are anything but subordinate. I was close to challenging her to a Trial for breaches of decorum, but I thought against it. I have a firm hand, but I do not feel the need to close it into a fist so soon.

Thonn, typically, instantly became Carly's friend and they swapped battle stories and compared the merits of their 'Mechs. Thonn is confident in his _Nova-_ A, but Carly's mount is a _Hellbringer_ prime. It is a staple 'Mech in the Jade Falcon touman, and the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster had a few on reserve, and Carly requested one at once and got it (as she told me proudly). I shall test her abilities in the simulator tomorrow. I expect a wild but capable MechWarrior out of her, and I am curious about what she can contribute to my Star, and my Trinary at large. I will muster all my patience and reserve judgment until then.

I will stop there for today, journal. I am sure that the next few entries shall be... fascinating.

Carly here. So, this is Star Commander Michael's journal? This thick notebook of his inner thoughts and experiences? Stravag, I have never gotten my hands on such a thing before! Is this more common in the Ghost Bear touman than the other Clans? I have been part of the Ghost Bear touman since my capture in February 3049 (the bulk of my warrior career so far), and once again, I must say that you Bears are so open with each other! I browsed some of Michael's earlier entries, little journal, and by the Founders, he will not shut up about Candace! Why are they so close? What use is this constant sharing of petty feelings and nursing each other's little wounds of the body and mind? Stand on your own! Are the warriors of this Star incapable of fighting without needing a hug afterwards? Ridiculous!

Well, there is no changing my fate now. Star Commander Michael seems a bit on the soft side, his talons dull. No, bear claws. Paws. That is more accurate, quiaff? Oh, and forgive my poor handwriting. Unlike the Star Commander, I do not spend every minute in my bunk scribbling my opinions on every scrap of detail around me! Especially if no one even reads the journal! Some people, I just do not understand. Michael has been writing in here since, what, May 3044? Aff. I just checked the first page. "Today, I got a scar." Guess what, Star Commander? We all do! And I admire the ones on your face. They show that you fight like you mean it, that no one keeps you down for long. Good; that is the kind of Star Commander that I need.

All right, I will put you back in your place, journal, before the Star Commander catches me writing in here. He will see this text later, though. So: Star Commander, let me tell you that you can do better than that blonde surat Candace. Bunk with me, and you will see what kind of warrior I am. You will have to earn it, though. I may be a Bear now, but on Ironhold, I fought f or everything I had. I will never forget that.

Journal, it is me again. Michael. I do not usually do this, write in you after I am done for the day. But I found you lying at least fifteen centimeters to the side of where I had set you down. I wondered: who had moved you? It did not take long to find Carly's little addition above. What to say about that? Simple: I agree with Carly that she _does_ have miserable handwriting. And as for bunking arrangements for coupling, might I suggest Thonn?

This really shall be my last entry for today, journal. I shall now close your pages and rest. I doubtlessly need it.


	20. Chapter 20

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 534: October 14th, 3054**_

Journal, the universe continues to test me.

I have certainly gotten used to Carly GhostBear's presence here in my Star. Somewhat. She is still trying to convince me to bunk with her, and still I refuse. Why, I cannot fully articulate in my head. I have a level of trust and friendship with Candace, and Ursina, that Carly is attempting to imitate after only three months in my Star! Ursina has given Carly more than a few challenging looks behind her back, but not yet have any actual challenges to a Circle of Equals been issued. Ursina is rarely the type to do that. Thonn, meanwhile... I would rather not talk about it.

But my Star has suffered far worse blows than any inter-personal tension. We are stationed here on Jarett, a fine world... for plunder. The Smoke Jaguars are increasing their raids all along the border of their occupation zone and that of my Clan, and some worlds have changed hands several times since August. I hear that Khan Bjorn Jorgennson is losing his patience, although saKhan Aletha Kabrinski is keeping a very cool head, the way Star Colonel DelVillar describes it.

Far worse is what happened on Jarett.

It seems that the Ghost Bears have been fighting defensively ever since the Battle of Tukayyid: against the DCMS, against a few Wolf Clan raids, and even a few probing strikes from what little remains of the Free Rasalhague Republic. But the Smoke Jaguars... their Beta Galaxy has been clashing with my own Galaxy, and today saw the bloodiest clash yet.

The 2nd Jaguar Guards and the 267th Battle Cluster came crashing into our scattered defenses, and all over this small continent, four total Clusters vied for control. I am reluctant to report that the other Ghost Bear Cluster stationed here, the 12th Bear Chevaliers, suffered greatly and gave a lot of ground to the advancing Jaguars. What is more, the stravag Jaguars captured a number of supply depots and supply train lines that the 32nd Assault Cluster could have made use of! Bolstered by this ammunition, the 2nd Jaguar Guards pushed their advantage.

Star Colonel Ivan DelVillar was clearly just as frustrated by all these defensive clashes as I am. Finally, the bear in him awoke, and his _Kodiak_ led the counter-assault on the Guards. In the span of today's afternoon and early evening, the Star Colonel coordinated his Trinaries of 'Mechs, Elementals, and aerospace fighters to keep the pressure on teh Jaguars and slow their advance. Did it work? Aff, it did. So far. As I write this, I am in a bunk near the front lines after today's fighting. The outcome of this battle is unknown; both sides are taking a rest. I expect more bloodshed as early as the crack of dawn.

Now, journal, do you expect me to write that Star Captain Quentin is humiliating the Smoke Jaguars with his battlefield brilliance? Neg, I cannot. Why? He has lost his mind. Freebirth! I knew this was going to happen! I can hardly write this legibly without my hand shaking in rage and horror. It seems that my Star Captain's bottled-up anger and stress have broken him. The Smoke Jaguars pushed us back hard, and the tide of battle turned on us at some point. Star Captain Quentin had led my Trinary into a risky position, and it did not pay off. We were nearly wiped out, and a Nova Binary from the 12th Bear Chevaliers was destroyed as a result. Star Colonel DelVillar quickly voiced his rage on the comm and challenged Star Captain Quentin to a Trial of Grievance.

The Star Captain did not take that well. Acting on his own, Quentin said on the open comm that he deserved better than this, and that his next few moves would change the battle's course. Without the Star Colonel's clearance, he moved my Trinary to flank a Trinary from the Jaguars' 267th Battle Cluster, and the cats savagely repulsed our attack. We were lucky to escape that situation before my Trinary was annihilated.

In light of _that_ , Star Colonel DelVillar declared Star Captain Quentin dezgra and swore that Quentin would not see any more action. With this provocation, Quentin screamed peculiar obscenities on the comm and started firing wildly, at random. His lasers hit both Smoke Jaguar and friendly targets alike! Freebirth, I cannot get the image of that out of my mind! It was the most discouraging thing I have ever seen, and my Starmates felt the same way. Ursina tried to placate the Star Captain on the comm. It did no good.

In short, the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster and the 12th Bear Chevaliers ground the battle to a standstill, and the Smoke Jaguars, having lost their momentum, withdrew to a safe distance and dug in. Scout Stars have already confirmed the locations of those dug-in cats. A fresh assault at first light seems likely.

What of Quentin? I reviewed this entry, journal, and as of now, I cannot call him _Star Captain_ Quentin. Why not? He is dead. I am tempted to strike out all instances of "Star Captain" on this page, but I will refrain. As soon as the 32nd set up its base camp, Star Colonel DelVillar angrily summoned Quentin and challenged him to an unaugmented Trial of Grievance, which the clearly mad Quentin accepted at once. I have never seen that look of bloodlust on Quentin's face, and I will not see it again.

The Trial was a quick and brutal one; Quentin held an early advantage until Star Colonel DelVillar subdued him, but Quentin continued to struggle and defied the Star Colonel's loud orders to stand down. Finally, recognizing Quentin as the useless surat that he was, the Star Colonel broke Quentin's neck. The cracking sound seemed to echo through the whole base as the Cluster watched.

Does it seem cold, journal, that I thought so little of Quentin today? It should not. He has lost what made him such a ristar during Operation REVIVAL and during our sibko days together on Arcadia. The Star Captain I saw today was unfit for the rank, unfit to fight under the Ghost Bear flag. I am grateful to Star Colonel DelVillar for excising this taint from our Cluster. That, and the reality of my Star Commander position has given me... a new perspective. Rank comes with power... and risks.

Stravag, the 32nd seems to have a high turnover rate of officers, even higher-ranked ones! Now there is, once again, a Star Captain position open. It once belonged to Dean Tseng. It was, until today, Quentin's. Who will hold it now? I cannot say. There are some fine Star Commanders intersted in it, such as Vreena and Frederick. I shall let you know, journal, what happens. You can count on it.

Until next time.

 _ **Entry 535: October 18th, 3054**_

I shall keep this brief today, journal. I am utterly exhausted and wish to rest.

Fortunately, Quentin's death did not threaten the cohesion or morale of the 32nd. Much the opposite! My modesty prevents me from lingering on this next fact, so I will state it simply: Star Colonel DelVillar believes that Quentin's outbursts justified my Trial of Grievance back in August, and as a reward for my leadership and forsight, I am the temporary Star Captain of my Trinary.

Only an acting officer for now, but it is exhilarating! I was also rather tense about the sudden responsibility, and Star Commander Frederick briefly challenged my nomination until Star Colonel DelVillar did an act of... physical intimidation. I find it hard to describe, but it was an effective move.

At last, the battle for Jarett has turned, and after four days of desperate defensive fighting, the 32nd and the 12th Bear Chevaliers staged a daring series of raids to draw the Smoke Jaguars formations apart and create dangerous openings in their ranks. It was a grueling campaign, as was the counter-attack that followed, but I am pleased to report that we had success. Perhaps the Jaguars were growing overconfident and did not expect to be on the defensive at this stage? Most likely. And I personally led my Trinary, along with a Binary of Elementals, into a critical zone of the battle and routed the Jaguars there.

By the Founders, what a feeling! My bitterness and stress over the course of this campaign melted as I led my Trinary to honorable victory under my command. It was a ripple effect; my Trinary, and a few other Trinaries and Binaries like it found similar success, and the bulk of our forces took that opportunity to drive both Smoke Jaguar Clusters back to their DropShips. Our aerospace fighters even strafed them until a Jaguar DropShip's AA fire downed a fighter, discouraging further strafing.

Jarett is still ours. Quentin fell here, but I am rising to take his place. This is an excellent addition to my codex, and we may even have a chance to strike the weakened Jaguars on one of their own worlds. I am hopeful for what the next few months bring.

That is all for today.


	21. Chapter 21

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 536: October 22nd, 3054**_

I had an opportunity for a Trial of Refusal today, journal. Why? To challenge the decision to promote Vreena to Star Captain of my Trinary. I will admit, a part of me was tempted to do so. But Vreena is a highly capable MechWarrior and commander, much more so than Minna was. And she shows no signs of insanity like Quentin! By the Founders, I am relieved to have a worthwhile commander for my Trinary. Am I still interested in the position in the near future? Aff. But not for today.

Meanwhile, Star Colonel DelVillar decided to strengthen ties with the people of Jarett today. He helped defend this world from Smoke Jaguar aggressors, after all, and he wants to build on this momentum. How? By sending a large, widespread "delegation" to the nearby city of Yama Heights nearby, a moderate-sized city near the Jukendo Shizai mountain range. Technicians, laborers, and even some warriors will take part and, in essence, show the locals that we fight not only _on_ their world, but _for_ this world, and for them, too.

It seems a little... irregular. But I admit, I am curious about the outcome! In fact, I may volunteer to join this peaceful mission. The Kuritans have proven themselves worthy opponents time and time again. I would like to know where this warrior spirit comes from.

 _ **Entry 537: October 22nd, 3054**_

Here is my second entry for today. What makes this one different from the above entry is that I have spent some time here in Yama Heights... and it is everything I had hoped for, and quite a few things on the side. Carly GhostBear and Star Captain Vreena are here with me, along with some others, and what a place this is! I once visited a city on Arcadia under special circumstances, but that was my only taste of civilian life. Here... this is totally new to me.

So much color! Neon signs, electronic ad screens, the traffic, the people's clothes... I was dazzled. And the crowds! Many people of different sorts all together, buying things, visiting friends, going home to their apartments, visiting cinemas and live theater, and more. One of the warriors from the command Trinary wanted to see what "Kabuki theater" is, but we decided against it. A helpful local told us that performances can take all night. We have much to see.

I want to call these people shallow and materialistic. But this is simply what they were raised to expect in everyday life. They do not need skills in bidding wars, or preparing for a Trial of Bloodright, or working for a promotion. They buy expensive clothing and watch movies about fictional people and buy costly, exotic food with friends. Do I envy them? Not exactly. But my curiosity deepened with every step! I was not ashamed to stare at many of the sights.

So, where am I writing all this? Here in Kenjiro-San's Downtown Restaurant, a place for food and drink. Like everywhere else, it is crowded and noisy, and on the TVs, we can watch local news and sports. I recognized lacrosse and rugby, but there was another sport involving mesh-screen paddles, a small green ball, and a wide, low net. I admired the speed and hand-eye coordination of the players, at least. Sports play an important role in one's development.

Two people nearly spilled their drinks on this journal. I apologize, but I must write all this down before I forget it, and there is not much room here at the bar. Star Captain Vreena hesitated about buying the local alcoholic drink "sake", but Carly GhostBear talked her and the other warriors into it. And I certainly had some, too! It is quite a feeling, journal! The mind becomes looser and freer under its effects. Wait a moment while I drink a bit more. I am intrigued to see what further effects it may have. Consuming the first drink compels me to have another!

Okay, like I promised, I am writing again! Aff! Do not worry! I did not forget, journal! I would never forgive myself! Never! I had three more sake drinks, and Carly had five. And we are not alone in this, oh no! The local businessmen consider it a sport to show off how much they can drink, and we are providing stiff competition! They know that we are Clanners, and they were wary. Aff, very wary! Very! But they now see us as bar companions. Allow me to have more.

Sake! Sake! Sake! Where was I when this elixir was invented?! I feels so good! Did General Kerensky ever have any? He should have! I bet he did when no one was looking! Maybe the Founders had some, too! It is funny to think about. Roll out the barrels, laborers! I wish to drink all night! Hey, they are singing a song now! Should I do it, too? But I never sang before... I once heard an opera that a warrior from Alpha Galaxy wrote as her Great Work. What music it was! Can I sing opera? Neg, probably not. But the music is so... enchanting...

I think my handwriting is getting hard to read. Is that bad? I am sorry, journal. I nearly spilled a drink on you! Such dezgra tactics! No sake on the pages, please! Stravag, it would kill you, quiaff? Maybe I will feel better once I accept this drink that Carly is offering me

by the Founders

this feels funny

I can bare

barely see straight

Star Captain Vreena is shouting something

what

 _ **Entry 538: October 23rd, 3054**_

Freebirth.

My head hurts badly. Like a Gauss rifle slug to the brain, maybe. My mind is clear again, but it left behind some pain. I drank a lot of water, as did everyone who went into Kenjiro-San's Downtown Restaurant. Fortunately, my Star is not assigned to patrol the base until this evening, giving us time to recover. I will not write much more, except to mention that Thonn laughed his head off at us as we lay here in agony. What did that sake do to us? I shall never consume it again. At least, not more than one drink per day.

I reviewed my entry for yesterday. Not the sort of material you want in your codex. Good thing this material stays only in this journal! I am tempted to tear out the page where I wrote under the influence of that sake, but I should not. This journal is a _thorough_ recollection of my career in the Clan Ghost Bear touman, uncensored. This is reality. All my proud moments, and my times of weakness and doubt. That is the authenticity I desire.

I also desire another drink of water.

Until next week, journal.


	22. Chapter 22

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 551: January 24th, 3055**_

I owe a great debt to Star Captain Vreena.

I have finally set foot here on Alshain, one of the greatest worlds here in my Clan's occupation zone. We have controlled this planet since late 3051, certainly, but the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster's warriors had yet to visit it. I am here for the most exciting of reasons: the upcoming Trial of Bloodright.

Yes, I first mentioned this in an earlier entry, but to walk here on Alshain for the Trial made me excited all over again. In the ongoing conflict against the Draconis Combine and Clan Smoke Jaguar, Bloodnames open up every few weeks. I heard that there is a separate Trial underway for a slot of the Snuka Bloodname, but that is not my business here. I shall make sure to not fail the Star Captain, whose encouraging words to Star Colonel DelVillar inspired him to nominate me for this Bloodname.

Not even Quentin earned a Bloodname. He was born in the House of Jorgensson, a prodigious bloodline, to be sure. Earlier this decade, I had been convinced that Quentin would be nominated for this Trial, especially with how many warriors had fallen fighting the DCMS. But no. Now, I am the first of my Star to face this challenge.

In fact, as I write this, I hold in my other hand a small charm that Ursina had purchased back on Jarett and given me. It is purely sentimental, but I value it greatly. Ursina... her codex is not a prestigious one, but her constant support is worth something in my eyes. Candace, too, wished me the best, but in a more carnal way. Let me merely say that she and I made the most of our last night before I boarded the DropShip to leave Jarett.

Until the Trial of Bloodright begins, I cannot say much more. Other than the fact that Carly is envious of my potential advance, and that Thonn seemed disgruntled and surly about it. I do not care what a surat like Thonn thinks; more than ever, I believe that he and I have grown apart in many ways.

That is all for today.

 _ **Entry 552: February 1st, 3055**_

Alpha Galaxy, the Golden Bears, has always had a fearsome reputation. I can now see why.

I write this in my temporary lodgings here on Alshain, and I am due to depart this world in a few days. The Trial of Bloodright did not go as I had hoped.

The process began with 32 warriors, and all, save one, were nominated by the Ghost Bear Council. The last warrior, who won the Grand Melee, seemed very confident of himself when I saw him. I forget his name, but that is not important. What I wish to relate is my eagerness when I met my first opponent at the Well of Decision. Have I explained this process before, quineg? If not, it works like this: each warrior presents a coin with his or her name on it, and those two coins are sent rolling down a funnel-shaped assembly. The two coins end up in a clear plastic container at the bottom, and whoever's coin is on top of the other is the "hunter". The hunter decides the manner of combat, and the "hunted" warrior chooses the venue.

My opponent for the first round was Star Commander Shenzo from the Third Bear Guards. He looked smug about facing someone from the second-best Galaxy; did the warriors of Alpha really hold themselves in such high esteem, or was it just his personality? At any rate, here is a transcript:

 **Oathmaster Laurie Tseng:** What transpires here will bind us until we all shall fall. You are the best the House of Bekker has to offer. I am not of this House, but Khan Jorgensson wished that I preside over this Trial. Being chosen for this honor marks you as the pinnacle of what Nicholas Kerensky wished for all Clan warriors to be. Do you concur in this?

 **Shenzo:** Seyla.

 **Me:** Seyla.

 **Oathmaster Laurie Tseng:** You are Shenzo, and you have seen twenty-seven years. Why are you worthy?

 **Shenzo:** I consistently tested out in the top five percent of my sibko, and I passed my Trial of Position with the rank of Star Commander. I assisted in the capture of two worlds in Operation REVIVAL, and claimed three bondsmen, one of whom tested out into the Clan Ghost Bear touman. My Star Colonel, when made aware of this Bloodname slot, immediately nominated me for it, with no consideration for any other warrior. My actions have inspired the nickname "The Dragon's Bane" from my peers.

 **Oathmater Laurie Tseng:** You are Michael, and you have seen twenty-six years. Why are you worthy?

 **Me:** I was among the first warriors of Beta Galaxy to see action against both the KungsArme and the DCMS, and I assisted in the capture of Damian in 3050. Although my 'Mech was destroyed in the Battle of Tukayyid, my endurance and will to survive were such that I was recovered and placed in medbay, where I survived a flesh-eating native disease. I also assisted in the defense of Jarett against two different assaults, each from the DCMS and two Clusters from Clan Smoke Jaguar. I was promoted to Star Commander in 3052 when my previous Star Commander, Quentin, was promoted to Star Captain.

 **Oathmaster Laurie Tseng:** The heroism and courage you both have displayed has been established and verified. Your claims are not without substance, and the Trial shall commence. Present your tokens of your legitimate right to be here.

[sounds of the coin decision]

 **Oathmaster Laurie Tseng:** Shenzo, you are the hunter.

 **Shenzo:** My opponent claims great glory on the battlefield while piloting a 'Mech, despite admitting to his 'Mech's destruction on Tukayyid. Let us see whether his defeat on Tukayyid was an unfortunate accident or a reflection of his skills. I will hunt augmented.

 **Oathmaster Laurie Tseng:** Michael, the style has been chosen. Where will you be hunted?

 **Me:** At the hilly countryside, five kilometers outside Port Jinzo-Kabashi's city limits.

 **Oathmaster Laurie Tseng:** To your machines, then. Let the true warrior win!

[end of audio transcript]

During the decision, I had felt some confidence about my odds, despite Shenzo's contempt about my performance on Tukayyid. Battling a prestigious warrior from Alpha Galaxy was bound to be a serious challenge, but I felt ready.

I was not.

Stravag! The Golden Bears' reputation was well-defended in our augmented battle. The hills outside Port Jinzo-Kabashi are a type of terrain that I favor: some cover is present, but there is enough open air to allow straightforward combat. Heavy forests disorient me, and open plains offer no cover from which a Bear like me can pounce. In our battle, I made some good use of that terrain, and for a moment, based on his 'Mech's movements, Shenzo had seemed discouraged by my preference for this battlefield.

Then he changed things. Up until then, he and I had dealt equivalent damage to each other, me in my _Stormcrow_ -A, and him in a _Stormcrow_ prime. But something changed in Shenzo's mind, and he found a new sense of ferocity and cunning that I could not keep up with. I only barely destroyed his 'Mech's left torso before his remaining weapons destroyed me. I ejected in time, and I suffered only a few bruises and scrapes from my ejection before I was recovered. But the results are clear: I will not win this Bloodname slot. I will not become Michael Bekker here on Alshain, in this noble Trial. Will Shenzo ultimately earn it? Possibly. He is cunning, and I like his odds against his next four opponents. I will find out later, at any rate, who will ultimately claim this slot of the Bekker Bloodname. But it will not be me.

Am I angered by this? Aff, but anger fades, like flame into ash. There will be later opportunities. I am not Thonn, given to rage and selfish ambition. Nor am I Quentin, overthinking myself into insanity. And I am not Carly, a MechWarrior more given to playful aggression and short-term gratification than long-term goals. I am Michael. I will get what I want, when the time comes.

And until then, there are other things I can do to make myself more useful to the Ghost Bear Clan, and therefore even more likely to be nominated again for a new Bekker slot.

I shall write again next week, journal. That is all I can write for today.


	23. Chapter 23

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 566: May 10th, 3055**_

Journal, it seems that the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster will remain garrisoned here on Jarett for quite some time. I cannot complain; there are plenty of defensible positions here against our enemies, and the local population is quickly getting used to its role in the Ghost Bear Occupation Zone. But recently, I have figured out a new way I can serve the Clan.

More and more, the Kuritan citizens here are accepting us as their cohabitants in this slice of space, and the same is true of former FRR worlds as well. Perhaps they are grateful that they live in the Ghost Bear's den, and not under the tyrannical rule of the Smoke Jaguars? I cannot blame them if that is their sentiment! After all, recall what happened to Edo on Turtle Bay, back in 3050. The horrors of that orbital bombardment are still fresh in many people's mind. It will take a long time for that wound to heal.

I got a bit off track there. My Clan and the locals are drawing closer together, bit by bit, although there are still many differences to settle, grudges to forgive, logistics to figure out. Serving the Clan, as I mentioned earlier, means more than just patrolling with my Star for any Smoke Jaguar raids. Star Colonel DelVillar wants closer diplomatic and administrative ties with the locals, and I have taken it upon myself to join that effort. You may think I am desperate to avoid patrolling, quiaff? I have many more reasons than that... although yes, patrolling can be tedious at times.

Luckily for me, my Cluster is garrisoned close to the capital city, Kokuda Metropolis. Meanwhile, the 12th Bear Chevaliers are occupying the western continent. Here, I am taking my opportunity, with the Star Colonel's support, to join the effort of improving relations with the Kuritans. At first, I was apprehensive: most of my skills and accomplishments so far have been inside a 'Mech cockpit, not outside! But my failure in the Trial of Bloodright on Alshain inspired me to find new avenues of success. In time, I will try again for the Bekker Bloodname. For now... paperwork, to put it bluntly.

It is not all tedium, however. The Kuritans love to negotiate with great zeal and passion (sometimes too much so), and around here, anything is up for debate and is worth getting into a shouting match over. This is no sleepy backwater town; Jarett has some influence over the nearby worlds, and it has many connections to Alshain. Whatever happens here ripples to nearby worlds, and I want to place myself within this maelstrom. Neg, perhaps that is too strong a word. I will think of a better one later.

Anyway, Star Colonel DelVillar, plus a few officers and I, are working to further integrate Jarett and other worlds into our Clan. The longer we stayed here in Kuritan space, the more we have come to respect their ways and look for methods of mutual cooperation. We share the same den now, facing the same blizzard, a blizzard made of Smoke Jaguars, vengeful Rasalhagians, and even the Wolf Clan. We are not yet truly kin, but just as Hans Jorgennson and Sandra Tseng were welcomed into the bear's den on Arcadia, the Kuritans have had the grace to give us a home here. We will not squander this gift.

And again, I suspect that some of this hospitality stems from relief that we are not Clan Smoke Jaguar. I wish to emphasize that. The cats have had nothing but trouble on their conquered worlds since they set foot in Inner Sphere space.

I will spare you the details of this political work, journal, but I can say that while it is slow and often confusing, I am confident that I am slowly building momentum. Some of the other delegates and I are making... well, not friends, but a sort of partnership with local authorities and officials. And the city hall of Kokuda Metropolis is a sight to behold, a palace-like structure sitting on a riverbank, with two massive granite statues of ancient samurai standing on low pedestals on either side of the entrance while the planetary flag flies on a dome on the building's central roof. And the inside... I have never seen such opulence before. Part of me is aghast at the waste of resources... but then again, the Kuritans have the bounty of the Inner Spere to draw upon. I am still getting used to that, as opposed to the pragmatism and conservation back in the Homeworlds.

I have few new updates on my fellows in my Trinary, save for when Vreena challenged and defeated a warrior in the light 'Mech Star during a Trial of Grievance. Why? For falling asleep during patrol. I am not joking at all.

I shall stop there for today, journal. My head hurts from all this extra duty; my bunk calls for me.

 _ **Entry 567: May 18th, 3055**_

God eftermiddag.

That was Swedish for "good afternoon". I am happy to say that my foreign language studies are coming along slowly but surely. Swedish is certainly easier to learn than Japanese is, partly because Swedish is in the Germanic language family alongside English, while Japanese is far removed from either language.

Such fascinating work! The civilian castes here in the Draconis Combine, and parts of the FRR, have colorful nuances and customs I still am barely beginning to unravel. There are ethnic minority groups here that identify as Arabic, Korean, Hindi, and more. Japanese is dominant, especially with concepts of bushido and the Japanese tea ceremony, but no two people here are alike. This is not terribly relevant to my MechWarrior duties, but it captures the imagination all the same.

Why am I doing this? It is obvious, quiaff? English is not universal here, as it is in the Clan Homeworlds, or in the House Davion half of the Federated Commonwealth. Already, a number of Clan Ghost Bear officials are exchanging language lessons with the locals. We bolster their English-speaking population, and we learn Swedish and Japanese in return. There are some Swedenese speakers around here as well, closer to former FRR space, but I am not concerned about that.

So far, the Jarett officials here in Kokuda Metropolis are less than impressed with my Japanese, what little of it I know, but my Swedish is progressing much faster, and may help if I find myself stationed in worlds near the Clan Wolf Occupation Zone. I am patient; we will all be here for years to come, and the problems we face will not be solved anytime tomorrow. There is time for me to learn... but the more I discover, the faster I wish to learn more!

Those of my Trinary are less interested. Carly GhostBear, as you may have imagined, almost challenged me to a Trial of Grievance for me learning "freebirth surat babbling", but that is probably just the Jade Falcon blood in her objecting to my flexible ways. The Jade Falcon Clan is mighty, to be sure, but even slower than my Clan to adopt new ideas and worldviews. I have NO intention of discarding my Clan identity, but fresh ideas often contain untapped potential. The Kuritans may teach me much... for freeborns, that is. At least they are of the highest order among freeborns. Much more impressive than the stravag Rasalhagians. All they ever give us is resentment and mutterings of revenge.

Ursina and Candace similarly voiced little interest, and Thonn said that autocannon muzzles and PPCs speak a universal language that needs no translation anywhere. Carly was delighted by that comment, and privately, I agree that he has a point... all of humanity contains violence inside, regardless of the words you say. A battle, an argument. A war, a debate. An army, a school of thought.

I have another lesson in Japanese tomorrow, where I will learn many verbs and some adjectives, and all the appropriate grammar rules. It will be a challenge, but one that I relish. Stravag, my head still hurts from today's studying! It is a mental workout, but a worthwhile one. Any challenge that sharpens a Clan warrior's faculties and discipline is worthwhile, quiaff? Ha, and an amusing thought crossed my mind: if I learn enough Swedish or Japanese, perhaps I could speak ill of Thonn and Carly within earshot and not suffer any consequences! They may still get the gist of the message, though, from my tone. Perhaps I should rethink this idea...

That concludes today's entry, journal. Ima wa sayonara.


	24. Chapter 24

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 570: June 10th, 3055**_

City hall here on Jarett is not the safe haven I thought it was.

I am aware that there is ongoing resentment among the native people inside the Ghost Bear Occupation Zone, and some of them, especially the hot-blooded Rasalhagians, have struck back against us. And it is not just my Clan; despite Clan Wolf's gentle hand with its subjugated people, the Rasalhagians have bitten back against them, too.

But the Kuritans... they also have teeth.

Today, I joined Star Colonel DelVillar with a number of other delegates to represent Clan Ghost Bear in city hall here in Kokuda Metropolis, and at first, the proceedings were stubborn but lively. The planetary governor, Anton Genjo, was receptive to us, but cool and detached as ever. I like to think that my continuing studies of Japanese and Swedish are giving me a finer attunement to the people of the occupation zone. But I could not have expected this.

A stolen armored vehicle, one taken from the local DCMS detachment, rammed through the building's undefended east wing, and from that vehicle emerged armed rebels. I know these details from a report that the Star Colonel gave me an hour before writing this. Stravag! This is just like the Eye of the Dragon rebellion I faced a few years back, and this rebellion was even bloodier. Similar attacks took place across Kokuda Metropolis, and it was all the Star Colonel could do to return to our barracks and muster the 32nd.

Bandit hunting... that is not literally what we are doing, but any sort of "police work" is a poor assignment for front-line warriors such as us. I took no pleasure in mounting up in my _Stormcrow_ -A to patrol for any more attacks. Luckily, our 'Mech patrols were mainly an act of deterrence, and so far, it seems to be working. A Star from the patrol Trinary is covering this district of the city, so I have some down time at last. It is the Elementals, really, who are putting down the rebellion. Our Elementals are some of the finest, and despite the Inner Sphere denizens having experience with such forces, they have few defenses against armored Elementals.

Candace, for one, is eager to challenge any rebels to an augmented duel as retaliation for the attacks. News of the attack on city hall had quickly reached the barracks, and she had been concerned that a stray bullet may have hit me. Carly, too, told me that she would never allow her Star Commander to succumb to a dezgra enemy attack like this. Why, I am sure that she would challenge everyone in Kokuda Metropolis to a Trial of Grievance if I had been slain.

Have I lost all hope? Neg, journal. In time, the Kuritans will fully realize that Clan Ghost Bear is here to stay, and that dezgra actions like these will not be tolerated, nor fruitful in any sense. I predict that within a few years, such insurrections will cease to be. Some among the 32nd do not share my sentiments, but these Kuritans... the ones who obey the Clan will certainly help keep potential rebels in line in the future. The Kuritans are an honorable folk. I cannot imagine the citizenry allowing violent rebels like these to tarnish their image for much longer.

Star Captain Vreena, meanwhile, seems to be on the fence. She is alert for any future attacks, but while she did not overtly say so, I sense that she shares some of my trust in the Kuritans to dispel any further rebellious thoughts among the populace. For now, I can happily say that today's attack resulted in minimal loss of life. Mostly just property damage, including anti-Clan vandalism. I saw one such piece of graffitti on the side of a hotel, which was the Ghost Bear insignia with X's for eyes, its tongue lolling out, and the Japanese words for "Resist the Bear invaders!" Here, I looked up the characters and wrote them. See them? It took me some time to draw them correctly, but there they are. They are spoken as "Shinryaku suru kuma ni teiko shite kudasai!"

Fascinating.

And I should mention that we "invading bears" are not going anywhere. This is our territory now, and all glory goes to the Clan!

I will end there for today.

*o*o*o*o*

 _ **Entry 573: June 27th, 3055**_

Today's entry shall be brief, for my data on it is limited. But it is still worth noting, I think. Do you remember me mentioning that bizarre Red Corsair pirate gang before, quiaff? Well, it seems that she and her band of surat miscreants have struck again, and somehow, their enemies ended up fighting each other.

On the planet Deia in the Federated Commonwealth, the Red Corsair forces landed, and the 31st Wolf Solahma unit, led by a certain Conal Ward, was sent to deal with them. I have no love for Clan Wolf, far from it, but the Red Corsair is threatening to disrupt the fragile peace that followed the Battle of Tukayyid. The truce line, while frustrating, must be respected. Lives were not given so the Red Corsair could shatter the universe!

I digress. Conal Ward, for whatever reason, landed right atop an Inner Sphere unit called Zimmer's Zouaves, and destroyed them to make room at the LZ. The Red Corsair bandits took advantage of the chaos and fled. Fled! I do not know which is worse, a dezgra force that flees before its foes before the first shot is fired, or that Conal Ward allowed an opportunity for that cowardly escape in the first place. I can only imagine the embarassment that the Wolves feel, and the anger of the locals on Deia. Had that been a Clan Ghost Bear force, we would have stalked the Red Corsair bandits, found the perfect ambush site, and pounced. Let Zimmer's Zouaves do what they want. We would have waited wisely for our opportunity, not forced it.

This is mainly a FedCom and Wolf Clan affair, I know, but I wish to immerse myself more fully in the politics and actions of the Inner Sphere. And this business with the Red Corsair is the most exciting course of events taking place right now! And not just because of the debate as to whether the Red Corsair bandits originate from the Clans (probably the Jade Falcons). If the Red Corsair sticks her nose in my occupation zone, that surat will be pinned under the bear's paw and not allowed to escape. She made fools of the Wolves. No one makes a fool of a bear.

My language studies, meanwhile, will continue. I am getting rather good at Swedish, while Japanese proves a formidable challenge.

That is all for today.


	25. Chapter 25

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 580: August 20th, 3055**_

Do you remember in last week's entry, journal, that I promised that the joint invasion of the Smoke Jaguar world Izanagi would proceed smoothly, quiaff? I was very wrong. Tragically wrong.

Fortunately for my Clan's meager naval force, the Smoke Jaguar fleet is stretched thin, and even our second-rate navy cleared away the Smoke Jaguar orbital defenses for the ground force to move in. The 32nd, and the 14th Battle Cluster, burned hard for Izanagi's largest continent, where two under-powered Clusters of hostile forces awaited us. Star Colonel DelVillar had smartly navigated the bidding war to assemble this strike force, which is missing one of our two light Trinaries. He had been forced to first bid away one of its Stars, then the while Trinary, to outbid a Star Colonel from Gamma Galaxy for the right to assault the Smoke Jaguars.

All of us had landed on Izanagi in high hopes as Star Colonel DelVillar, and Star Colonel Dane Jorgensson, issued their joint batchall, which the cats had answered with enthusiasm. We marched to the capital city of Last Wish, hoping for a two-day time frame for battle.

The Smoke Jaguar aerospace assets proved otherwise.

Why did they not take place in the naval battle? Perhaps they were grounded on the other side of the continent for repairs, and could not make it to orbit in time. But now they were present, and included in the enemy ground forces's response to our batchall. I write this entry far behind enemy lines. Very far. Why? Our own aero assets were not prepared for this, and Smoke Jaguar strafing runs quickly forced both the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster and the 14th Battle Cluster to split up and find cover wherever possible. Binaries and Trinaries are spread all over, and our own limited aero assets can only keep the worst of Jaguar air power off our backs. But they cannot win the battle for us.

It is now evening, journal, and the 32nd has no chance to take Last Wish in this state. Likely could we overtake the Jaguar ground forces, but those stravag aerospace fighters will not allow it. I am certain that the enemy fighters will fly in large loops to check for any Ghost Bear Trinaries trying to sneak into Last Wish. Star Captain Vreena had in fact proposed such a plan until Star Colonel Jorgensson reported that such a plan was suicide.

I am now camped in one of many small forests that grow near Last Wish, close to a wide river. Star Captain Vreena has not lost any of her spirit, but neither is she planning any reckless or foolish counter-attack from here. I admire the Star Captain; unlike Dean Tseng, she has the predatory patience of a bear, waiting, watching, planning. The Jaguars are not going anywhere; our time to pounce will arrive. For now, I trust the Star Captain to make the right call. Thonn and Carly GhostBear have urged her to raid the Jaguar supply lines, but the Star Captain sternly rebuked their suggestions, and warned them of a Trial of Grievance should they interrupt her strategic planning one more time.

By the Founders, there is no better Star Captain with whom I would rather be stuck behind enemy lines! She has a mind like Quentin but the patience and wisdom of Jorgensson and Tseng themselves. On that note, I should finish today's entry. This battle is not yet lost, even with Smoke Jaguar aerospace fighters patrolling. We will strike... when ready.

 _ **Entry 581: August 25th, 3055**_

Our time has come.

For five freebirth days, my Trinary has operated behind Smoke Jaguar lines, hopping from cover to cover, skirting around hostile air patrols with great caution. Our nerves are frayed, and even Star Captain Vreena is feeling the tension. I can hear it in her voice, see it in how she maneuvers her _Mad Dog_. But our patience has paid off at last.

Fortunately, our comm lines are still not blocked from the rest of the 32nd. With enemy forces everywhere, we cannot regroup with the Cluster, but we can coordinate with them and give them updates. Both the 32nd and 14th Battle Cluster have been carefully testing the Jaguar defenses, and it has become clear, based on tactical reports that we receive every hour, that the Smoke Jaguars plan to wear us down and grind away at our morale.

Stravag cats. We do not appreciate long campaigns, but we can wait a few extra days to strike. We are not the Jade Falcons, obeying the insane commands of hot blood, or the reckless Ice Hellions. The Smoke Jaguar defenses must have a weakness _somewhere_ , and at last, we have found it.

The Smoke Jaguar airfield!

Star Captain Vreena navigated my Trinary around both aerial and ground patrols, and we found our objective, and it is lightly defended. I write this late in the evening, and we strike tomorrow at first light, while the Jaguar aerospace fighters are being refueled and repaired from dogfighting with Ghost Bear aerospace asserts. I anticipate the morning with great glee!

 _ **Entry 582: August 30th, 3055**_

I am now in my bunk on board my DropShip, which is burning a fast trajectory for our WarShip. This is my first chance since my last entry to write, and I am proud to report that Star Captain Vreena's, and my, leadership changed the face of the battle for Izanagi.

Our strike on the Smoke Jaguar airfield was difficult, but our timing was impeccable, and we finally slew the twelve enemy 'Mechs and assorted Elementals that guarded it. We proceeded to force the airfield's surrender at gunpoint, and the Jaguar support crew cleared the airfield's base, and we claimed their aerospace fighters as isorla. Without those reinforcements, the Smoke Jaguars lost their edge in the air, and that, combined with Star Colonel DelVillar's own strategy, ended the battle for Izanagi on the afternoon of the 26th.

Right now, both the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster and the 14th Battle Cluster are being relocated to Jarett, which Galaxy Commander Laurie Tseng believes may fall to a Clan Wolf attack soon. For now, two Clusters from Gamma Galaxy will garrison Izanagi, and I will soon return to Jarett, which has become a sort of temporary home for me. I am growing quite fond of it, and my lessons in diplomacy and languages there.

I should also note that Star Colonel DelVillar applauded both Star Captain Vreena and I for our actions, and much honor has been added to our codexes. Even Thonn and Carly are impressed, and Candace and I bunked together quite enthusiastically on the dropship ride from Izanagi's orbit.

The Smoke Jaguars will not forget this.

That is all for today.


	26. Chapter 26

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 588: October 16th, 3055**_

Today was a long day, journal, one filled with the toil of diplomacy, studying, public relations, language studies... and a supremely welcome bit of news.

I have been, once again, nominated for a free slot of the Bekker Bloodname.

And it was not just me, either. Star Colonel DelVillar, after he took me aside to tell me this excellent news, mentioned that Star Captain Vreena has been nominated for a slot of her own House's Bloodname, Jorgensson. Her and my daring and leadership during the campaign on Izanagi against the Smoke Jaguars earned DelVillar's good favor, and Galaxy Commander Laurie Tseng felt the same way, apparently. She has input on every Bloodname nomination of the Night Howlers, and having her approval is gratifying indeed.

Just when I thought everything was becoming predictable and routine here on Jarett.

Vreena's own Trial of Bloodright will be held at roughly the same time as mine, on Alshain (as mine will be). She acted calm and aloof when telling this to our Trinary earlier this evening, but I could sense her excitement. Vreena has the most level head and coolest temper in our Trinary aside from me. But I have learned to read her. She is positively giddy inside, and she was quick to retire to her private bunk with her favorite Starmate, Omar, for coupling, no doubt. Candace, too, gave me a feral smile and encouraged me to butcher everyone who stands between me and the honor of the Bloodname at the Trial. I humored her in this view while we coupled, but privately, I do not plan to take any lives if I can help it.

I will stop there for tonight.

*o*o*o*o*

 _ **Entry 590: October 29th, 3055**_

Vreena's own Trial of Bloodright is still underway, and mine has only just started. Thirty-two warriors of the House of Bekker, from all across the Clan Ghost Bear touman, gathered for the first elimination round. Already, there has been some shocking results: two warriors from Alpha Galaxy actually killed each other during their augmented battle! That will no doubt result in a free victory for whoever would have had to face that battle's winner. Assuming that _that_ battle didn't also result in mutual death. Though such an outcome is actually rare.

Now, for my own battle. I grin as I write this, for my fortunes have reversed! Earlier this year, I strode across Alshain with false confidence, having later lost to a MechWarrior from Alpha Galaxy. (I looked him up yesterday; he lost in the finals, and as of now is not Bloodnamed.) But this time, my confidence was rewarded.

Like last time, Galaxy Commander Laurie Tseng presided over the Well of Decision. My opponent was a Mechwarrior from the 12th Bear Chevaliers. Her name is Gianna, a warrior who at first seemed calm and patient like Star Captain Vreena, but once she won at the Well of Decision and became the hunter, I saw a savage gleam in her eyes, and on her face, that matched Candace's during Candace's most intense moments of battle rage. I did not like the tone of her voice as she mocked me for my defeat on Tukayyid and for failing my first Trial of Bloodright in my first round. She has studied my codex well, but it will not make her shoot any straighter or punch any harder.

Gianna bared her teeth at me as she challenged me to an unaugmented Trial, saying that she wanted to feel the fighting spirit shatter under her knuckles. I made myself look as large and wide as possible as I named the location: a cluttered warehouse in the city's southern district, a place for shipping office supplies. I think I remember the name of the company who sells those supplies... Druma-Misato Paper Company, or something of that sort. No matter; it was my desired battlefield.

Can you guess why, journal?

Gianna's own spirits seemed to dampen once I made use of my chosen terrain. By Clan standards, and especially by Clan Ghost Bear standards, I am below average in bare-handed fighting. I have easily bested various Inner Sphere thugs and assailants before, but against another Clan MechWarrior, the story is different. Gianna is noticeably shorter than me, with a feminine frame and small hands. These traits are very deceiving! She hits hard and fast, and is adept at finding weaknesses in an opponent's stance.

So, _this_ is why I chose the warehouse: the crates and idle forklifts provide great cover for ambushes.

Like in my augmented battle against that Alpha Galaxy warrior earlier this year, I need interrupted terrain so I may slowly and carefully approach my opponent. I struggle to make use of bold, aggressive charges, whether in person, in a 'Mech duel, or when commanding my Star. Rather, I have long since figured out that I am adept at grinding down my opponent's mental sharpness and patience by making many tentative strikes, always relocating, always drawing back from a full duel. I am the bear, testing its target's nerves, following it across any distance, waiting any length of time, to strike.

It worked.

Gianna scored multiple strikes against me that, even now, ache and sting with purple bruises on my skin. But her patience could not match mine, and her initial advantages were worn down to dust as I maintained my strategy. Oh, how she cursed me! No doubt she felt the strain from my tactics, and after several partial engagements, I struck fully while she was in a fit of clumsy rage and impatience, and even my modest unaugmented skills were enough to overcome her quick strikes and land several critical blows. Finally, after I stunned her with a blow to the lower ribs, I kicked her knee out from under her and landed a wide hook to the temple that brought her down and kept her down. She conceded, and the match was mine.

Thank the patience and wisdom of the Jorgensson and Tseng! I was concerned that not even my carefully-planned strategy would hold out. At least three times in the duel, Gianna definitely had a chance to alter the duel to her own terms and best me, but whether by error or misplaced confidence, she did not do so. As a result, now _she_ must admit to losing a Trial of Bloodright in the first round when competing for this Bloodname again. I am not usually given to petty words like that, but perhaps it is the adrenaline speaking. In all honesty, I wish Gianna the best in her upcoming battles.

And I hope that she learned some humility, like I did in my first Trial of Bloodright. I may face warriors from Alpha Galaxy, the Golden Bears, later on during this five-round tournament. May the Founders' spirits watch over me.

Until next week, journal.

P.S. Have I mentioned before that the food is very good here on Alshain, quineg? For it certainly is.


	27. Chapter 27

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 591: November 6th, 3055**_

Today was the second round of my Trial of Bloodright, and even this early into the competition, everyone is increasingly tense and self-absorbed. Defeating one opponent is encouraging, but then you realize that four remain before victory. Was your first victory a portent of success, or a fluke that will cruelly mislead you? Trying to balance all this in one's mind can certainly create strain. I met with Star Captain Vreena earlier this morning, and she was clearly under pressure, though she told me that she is "fairly sure" that her first victory was not a fluke. Judging by her tone, I choose to believe her, especially given what a confident and level-headed commander she is. I eagerly wait to see if she will claim her Jorgensson Bloodname.

Now, for my own battle. I presented myself in the pre-battle meeting, where, once again, Oathmaster Laurie Tseng presided. I stood opposite a lean-faced MechWarrior from Delta Galaxy's 115th Striker Cluster named Jarrad, and upon seeing me, he gave me a polite greeting before the ceremony began, and I returned it. A good first impression, at least. After listing off our qualifications, Jarrad and I sent our coins down the well, and I won the decision, choosing to hunt augmented.

Jarrad also proudly explained how he had defeated a Wolf Clan MechWarrior named Garent Radick and taken his _Hellbringer_ prime as isorla, and taken Radick as a bondsman. This had occured in the summer of 3053, and Jarrad told the story with such relish, one might think that it had happened yesterday. I had no real story to match that one; I have taken two bondsmen, to be sure, but neither were Bloodnamed officers! Well, perhaps one day in the future?

With the style chosen, Jarrad was given his choice of a battlefield. So, we met in our 'Mechs at a DropShip landing pad near a factory just outside the capital city. A plain, wide-open venue! Not at all my preferred terrain. After all, I fought relatively well against a MechWarrior of Alpha Galaxy in uneven terrain, and I defeated a MechWarrior in unaugmented combat in a warehouse. But this?

There was no arguing against it. I met Jarrad's _Hellbringer_ at the landing pad as promised, and in the comm, Oathmaster Tseng gave us the signal. Let me say that Jarrad fights with utter ferocity, much like Thonn, Candace, and Carly do in my Trinary. But something felt different about that battle. Jarrad's aggression felt oddly restrained just slightly, pehaps enough to draw out the match and fray my nerves. That sounds odd when I write it down, quiaff? I am not sure I can entirely describe the feeling that Jarrad's fighting style gave me, except that he was calculating something as he fired his weapons.

I was offered a slightly heavier 'Mech than my _Stormcrow_ -A to fight Jarrad, but I had declined. I am so used to the feel of this 'Mech, and that alone compensates for the weight difference, I believe. My LRM 20 launcher softened up Jarrad's heavy 'Mech with two successful volleys, bu as a truly cunning warrior, Jarrad destroyed my launcher with two well-placed ER PPC strikes. Interestingly, given his excellent aim, I feel that he could have struck anywhere on my 'Mech that he wanted, but he went for the launcher first. Perhaps he is very repulsed by LRMs, the disgusting things!

Jokes aside, I can say that I kept even with Jarrad even with a broken LRM 20 launcher. After losing that weapon, though, I had to move in much closer to make use of my other armaments. But that left me very exposed on that stravag landing pad, and Jarrad punished my approach with ER PPC strikes that thinned out my torso and leg armor with frightening speed. His ER medium lasers nearly disabled my left knee, but I managed to move in such a way to avoid a final, joint-crippling strike.

What a battle! It is very easy to recall these details, and what came next was thrilling. I took advantage of a delay in Jarrad's shooting to fire my Streak SRMs and medium pulses, and I breached his left torso with great ferocity. I damaged his heat sinks and engine, and that made his ER PPCs costly to fire. He destroyed one of my SRM launchers with a well-placed strike, but his heat was clearly becoming unbearable. At that point, I dealt punishing blows to his exposed torso and savaged his _Hellbringer_ from the inside. Like an unbalanced statue, his machine toppled face-forward to the asphalt.

My _Stormcrow_ -A will need days and days of repair, but that is nothing compared to the charred remains of Jarrad's own machine. Not to mention himself! I did not intend it to be so, but Jarrad suffered serious burns and several broken bones before he extracted himself from his _Hellbringer_ and medical vehicles could take him away. I may visit him later, but I expect that he may hate me deeply for doing this to him. He seemed so eager and confident at first, and now, he lost, and his body is possibly ruined for good.

I am not yet entirely sure what to feel about this. I needed my victory and achieved it, and Jarrad knows the risks of this Trial. But if I were to rob Delta Galaxy of a good MechWarrior due to those injuries... and yet, I had certainly not intended for that to happen! Perhaps it is because I am attuning myself to Inner Sphere events, but I feel that Clan Ghost Bear is surrounded by enemies, and I should not deprive our touman of skilled MechWarriors such as Jarrad. Who will fight the Smoke Jaguars or the DCMS in Jarrad's place? Well, it is not my duty to find a replacement. I am not even from his Galaxy!

Enough of that. I am weary, and now is not the time to fret. I can only move forward after claiming this victory, and so will Vreena. Oh. I did not explain that, quineg? Star Captain Vreena met with me to share her news of besting another MechWarrior named Sandra in unaugmented combat. They had dueled in a Circle of Equals drawn in a public park downtown. All civilians had been cleared away for the duel. Ha! I can only imagine the Kurita civilians' thoughts at being shooed away from a public park so two Clanners can fight over a Bloodname, something that means absolutely nothing to the common folk. The good news is that there were no incidents of violence or protests. Good; I would not want any further woes between the Clan and the locals.

Star Captain Vreena was satisfied with my report of victory in my own duel, but she made no clear reaction to my description of injuring Jarrad so badly. Does she not care that he was savaged, or has she not decided how to react? I cannot say, and I doubt that I should inquire. Perhaps she has steeled herself against all possible ugliness of this Trial, and created a mental bulwark. I feel that I should do the same. Now, can I? Let me find out. That is all for now.

 _ **Entry 592: November 11th, 3055**_

This entry will be a short one. In a few days, at most, the third round of my Trial of Bloodright will begin. But today, with hours of free time granted to me, I attended a perfomance of the Alshain Planetary Symphony, led by their conductor, Kazuki Takahiro.

What an experience it was! I have not taken enough steps to immerse myself in the ways of the Inner Sphere, not until I heard that music. I was not familiar with any of the music beforehand, but that simply meant that I could explore and discover it as it went on, all its melodies, the emotions packaged into the different instruments, the overall mood, and more. I had at first planned to hear a few songs as a sample and then leave, but I felt compelled to stay. Conductor Takahiro was a master of his craft, and guiding all that sound alone is like one being shaping an entire ocean bare-handed. I could never do such a thing.

In fact, hearing that music reminded me that I have not yet completed any item for my Great Work. I have mentioned my brainstorming sessions for a Great Work piece, quiaff? This symphony... I do not think I could compose such a thing by myself, but its sheer beauty and power spurred me to hurry and choose a work so I may create it. But what? One of the more prominent ideas in my mind is sculpting. After all, I am aware that Ursina is working on a large painting, but of what, I cannot say. I once asked her of its subject, and she politely refused to say. Not even Thonn's and Candace's teasing could draw out a clear answer.

I shall not allow Ursina to work alone! I will envision my Great Work and create it, perhaps after the Trial of Bloodright is complete. The Trial's outcome may even influence my creative thought process, quiaff? I am eager to get started, most certainly!

With that, I will conclude today's entry.


	28. Chapter 28

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 593: November 16th, 3055**_

I have little detail to spare for the fourth match in my Trial of Bloodright, for it is the fifth match that matters the most, and its result.

I have won. I am Michael Bekker.

My fifth match was augmented, like most of my matches were, and I fought against my toughest opponent of all, a Star Captain named Thatch from Alpha Galaxy, the Golden Bears. This time, I proved myself against that famed Galaxy, but it required all my skill, cunning, and yes, a bit of luck as well! I do not subscribe to superstition or ideas of fate, but I can see how such beliefs are inspired. Some might have said that God, Allah, the Kami, or the flow of the universe itself guided me and augmented me.

OmniMech technology was the deity that answered my battle prayers.

If that sounds too exotic for you, journal, I can also offer more mundane details of this victory. I piloted my usual _Stormcrow_ -C against Thatch's _Nova_ prime, and being the hunted one, he chose to fight me along the highway near the capital city, and he made as much good use of the terrain as I did. His lasers carved my _Stormcrow_ -C into a molten, shambling heap of a 'Mech, and I admit that the Technicians were aghast when my 'Mech was brought in for repairs. I may have seen one of the Technicians shoot me a dirty look; I am not sure. A more volatile Warrior than me would have beaten that Technician just for suspecting it.

The duel went by in such a blur. Looking back, it seems surreal. I am stil trying to recount how I guided myself through it, how I decided what move to make and when, and how I tried to read into Thatch's movements and thought process. I skimmed the BattleROM, but I imagine that not even ten viewings will fully recreate that duel. What excites me is that the future may bring me even more demanding battlefield situations! What is a Warrior without new tests of his skill and mental prowess? What is a knife without its sharpening stone?

In short, I took part in the ceremony earlier this afternoon to formally welcome me into the Clan Ghost Bear council. I can hardly describe my pride and elation during this event! I have done the House of Bekker proud. Ever since my sibko days on Arcadia, I had dreamed of such a success. And now I hold it here, in my hands!

I should also note that Star Captain Vreena won her Trial of Bloodright as well. It is a fruitful time for the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster! I am now commanded by Vreena Jorgensson, and she gave me a warm congratulations, which I returned, when we met after our ceremonies. I am not, nor is Vreena, foolish enough to think that these Bloodnames make us immortal warriors, or reincarnated into new beings. I will fight as I always have, and aim for new heights like I have always planned. My life is no less mortal than it has ever been... but my name is rather more permanent, as will be my genetic future. My genes shall be added to House Bekker's pool... and in time, their worth shall be proven in future sibkos!

My time here on Alshain is nearly done. Star Captain Vreena and I will depart for Jarett within a few days to rejoin the 32nd, and our defense of the Ghost Bear Occupation Zone will resume. Our enemies are many, and some of them are even worthy of our claws.

One more note: I have finally decided what my Great Work shall be. You remember what that is, quiaff? A lifelong art project to demonstrate my cunning mind, patience, and love of enduring expression? I will carve a little statue to put on a pedestal. It will be a ghost bear, one carved from marble, that will sit comfortably and look up at the Star League's star overhead with wonder and hope. What is the bear thinking? That will be up to interpretation, if I can carve this thing correctly. Is it wistful and bitter about failing to capture Terra in the invasion? Or does the bear have the wisdom and patience to wait for the right time to reclaim Terra? Or... and this feels strange to even write... is the bear resolving to let the old Star League rest in peace, and allow Terra to live as it will? This open-ended nature is sure to draw some attention, and maybe even inspire some debate! How interesting that would be. I am sure that Candace and Ursina will be delighted by it, while Carly will have to fight the temptation to vandalize it with playful nonsense.

I can say no more. I shall write again soon.

 _ **Entry 596: December 8th, 3055**_

Journal, I find my spare time to be tested in its fullest in my duties here on Jarett, in the capital city. Not only do I help patrol and secure the planet against any interlopers, but now, as a member of the Clan Ghost Bear council, I have new duties, and those problems are not solved with the trigger of a PPC.

Conveniently, my Clan's Council can convene even if the members cannot physically attend all at once. It would take far too long to gather everyone like that! Instead, whoever can attend in person does so, and the rest use holograms, proxies, or video screens to attend remotely. I have already done so several times, since the physical gathering of my Council takes place at the Hall of the Bears enclave on Alshain. It was formerly an opera house, now converted into a Council chamber for all Bloodnamed Warriors here in the Inner Sphere. I have not yet set foot in there, though I intend to. Based on what I have seen on my video screen, it is awe-inspiring, with the soft and studious lighting and carpeting, and the massive Ghost Bear banner hanging proudly with my Clan's insignia woven into the fabric. That banner must be at least fifteen feet square! A part of my mind wants to touch it reverently in my hands, but of course, handling it like that would be frowned upon.

The Council gathers for matters such as settling disputes over a Warrior's questionable acts of speech, where to reassign certain units, and nominating Warriors for Trials of Bloodright. Vreena Jorgensson and I are very new to this Council and I can feel the difference between us and the experienced members, but at least we are made to feel welcome. Already, I was offered to nominate a Warrior for the Snuka Bloodname, for which a slot had recently opened up. I declined, however. Vreena, meanwhile, nominated a Warrior named Peter for the Tseng Bloodname, and the Trial of Bloodright is set to begin in late January next year.

I am certainly curious to see how well Vreena's nominee fares. It will speak as much about Peter's ability as it will about Vreena's judgment. In private, she confided in me that she is anxious about this, and that she fears losing face if Peter performs badly or is killed. I assured her that she is a sound commander and judge of a Warrior's ability, but I do not blame her for pressuring herself like that. Especially given how she and I have a lot to prove in the Council.

A more interesting affair was when an Elemental from Delta Galaxy was brought up on charges of intentionally destroying civilian infrastructure during a skirmish on Toffen, near the Smoke Jaguar border. His BattleROM was reviewed, and Warriors of the Council debated whether or not his actions were unfortunate collatoral damage or a vent for his anger against the wily Jaguars. I took quite a bit of time deliberating over this, and whether or not the Elemental's actions spoke poorly of our Clan.

In the end, the question was this: Were this Warrior's actions a foolish and dishonorable act that must be punished? My options, as always, were Aye, Nay, or absention. In the end, I voted Aye, as did Star Captain Vreena. Overall, enough Aye votes were cast to declare the Elemental as dezgra, and he did not issue a Trial of Refusal. Perhaps he did not like his odds of the Trial? Or did he feel guilty and not believe himself worth a chance at escaping dezgra status? I cannot say, and Vreena did not seem to care. The outcome, and the Elemental's passive response, are still lingering with me, however.

On another note, my language studies are improving steadily, and I am more immersed in the military politics of the Inner Sphere at large. Now that I am Bloodnamed, and that I represent the pinnacle of Clan life, I can do no less! Also, I have taken my first steps toward carving my Great Work. My marble block has some chunks carved out of it, but it looks nothing like a bear or Star League insignia yet. At least I procured a pedestal on which to mount it! Vreena voiced her approval of my choice in art, and she promised to give the finished product's message serious thought. Excellent! Part of me had feared that I had made a ridiculous choice for my Great Work. Clearly, this is not so.

I will write again soon, journal.


	29. Chapter 29

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 701: January 6th, 3058**_

Attaining the rank of Star Captain upon Vreena's promotion to Star Colonel of the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster has certainly cause many more Warriors to watch me more closely. My promotion in the September of last year as a quiet one, as had been Star Colonel Vreena's. I am only glad that Ivan DelVillar retired to train new warriors, so he does not have to witness what is happening here, at the dawn of the new year.

The Clan Council's charges against me and several other "conspirators" are serious, and I will not easily come out of this situation in one piece. I shall write down an audio transcription of today's Council meeting. It will be the first of several.

 **[Loremaster Laurie Tseng]:** Do you swear on the honor of the Ghost Bear Clan to tell the entire Truth and not to rest until Justice is done in this matter?

 **[Me]:** I do, Loremaster.

 **[Loremaster]:** Understood. Be seated.

(a moment of silence)

 **[Krella Jorgensson]:** I am Star Colonel Krella Jorgennson, and I willserve as the Inquisitor of this investigation. I will also relay questions from the rest of the Council. Now, state your full name, rank, and unit.

 **[Me]:** I am Star Captain Michael Bekker of the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster.

 **[Krella]:** Understood. Now, the bulk of these charges are being presented to a certain Star Colonel Charles Tseng of the 45th Grizzlies Battle Cluster, Delta Galaxy, but you stand among several other accused.

 **[Me]:** Accused of what crime, Star Colonel?

 **[Krella]:** Do not interrupt, Star Captain!

 **[Me]:** Apologies. I meant no disrespect.

 **[Krella]:** Aff. Now, Star Captain Bekker, the charge against you is this: that you willingly provided information to Star Colonel Tseng to aid in his grievously dishonorable conspiracy to utilize a Rasalhagian extremist sect to weaken the Wolf Clan for future assaults from our own Clan.

(general muttering in the Council)

 **[Star Colonel Vreena]:** Inquisitor, you are out of line! The Star Captain has no substantial or relevant ties to Delta Galaxy or the Star Colonel in question!

(more muttering)

 **[Loremaster]:** There will be order in this trial!

 **[Khan Bjorn Jorgennson]:** Loremaster, perhaps you should allow Star Colonel Vreena Jorgennson a chance to substantiate her defense of the accused.

 **[Loremaster]:** Aff, my Khan.

 **[Star Colonel Vreena]:** Thank you, my Khan. Inquisitor, Michael and I have collaborated closely with one another in the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster for over six years. In that time, I have never seen the Star Captain do anything more or less than what is in the Cluster's best interests, with no sign of subterfuge or plotting.

 **[Inquisitor]:** Is that so, Star Colonel? You stand by that statement?

 **[Vreena]:** Aff, I do.

 **[Inquisitor]:** I see. In that case, your staunch defense of the accused may cost you. I have gathered substantial evidence of Star Captain Bekker's role in Star Colonel Charles Tseng's foul plot. I now present the evidence.

(a few moments as the Inquisitor projected several documents, some digital, some on paper, for the Council to see. I should mention that of course, Star Colonel Charles Tseng was not present for this trial, nor was I at his.)

 **[Inquisitor]:** Clearly, all of these documents are field reports or standard paperwork, but there is more to substantiate my accusation. Not only do these papers suggest Star Captain Bekker's interests in Star Colonel Tseng's schemes, but I have relevant recordings of him speaking on the subject.

(a few moments pass as the Inquisitor plays audio of me or reads aloud audio transcripts of me in prior Council meetings. There is more muttering.)

 **[Inquisitor]:** There can be little doubt, fellow Bears: Star Captain Michael Bekker has a keen interest in Tseng's plots, and he has done much to advance the use of Rasalhagian extremists in an effort to weaken the Wolf Clan for conquest.

(babbling and shouting)

 **[Vreena]:** This proves nothing, Inquisitor! Others have voiced support for Star Colonel Charles Tseng's views! And many more have an interest in preparing for raids on nearby Wolf Clan worlds! But none of them are being accused of this crime.

 **[Inquisitor]:** (after consulting her earepiece) I speak for saKhan Aletha Kabrinski in saying that these gathered reports suggest much more than just the Star Captain sharing common sentiment among the Bears. The evidence is not yet 100% conclusive, but everything leads toward Star Captain Michael Bekker playing a key role in opening a dialogue with Rasalhagian extremists and moving them through Clan space and giving them relevant data and materials for their intended action against Clan Wolf.

 **[Vreena]:** Inquisitor, I notice that you have not offered the Star Captain a chance to defend himself! You think that you can pressure him into rolling over for you, quiaff? You think that you can claim victory after the first blood is drawn? How dare you attempt -

 **[Loremaster Laurie Tseng]:** One more outburst like that, Star Colonel Vreena Jorgensson, and you will be removed from this Council meeting.

 **[Vreena]:** Aff, Loremaster Tseng. My apologies.

 **[Inquisitor]:** Thank you, Loremaster. Now, Star Captain Bekker... what say you in your defense?

 **[Me]:** I cannot deny that the recordings of me highlight my support of Star Colonel Charles Tseng. Yes, I share his views that predation on certain parts of the Wolf Clan's flank would be beneficial to our Clan. I share his animosity for the Wolves and his desire to have a Ghost Bear triumph over them.

 **[Inquisitor]:** Is that an admission of guilt, Star Captain Bekker?

 **[Me]:** Neg. Well... actually...

 **[Inquisitor]:** If you cannot form a coherent defense, Star Captain, I suggest -

 **[Me]:** Inquisitor, once again I must confirm my many vocal statements in Star Colonel Charles Tseng's cause. But I deny that I played a "key role", as you put it, in his utilization of dangerous, fanatical Rasalhagians against the Wolf Clan. I have heard many reports of those Rasalhagians... they are unpredictable, they steal weapons and munitions vehicles, and they have no regard for any human life that stands between them and their goals. I see them as the freebirth scum that they are. I would never enter a bargain with them.

 **[Inquisitor]:** That is the truth that you spoke, Star Captain Bekker?

 **[Me]:** Aff, it is.

 **[Vreena]:** Is it not clear to the Council that this Warrior would never commit the crime of which he is accused?

 **[Inquisitor]:** (after consulting her earpiece) I speak for Khan Bjorn Jorgennson in pointing out that Star Captain Bekker's words do not exclude the possibility of him being a substantial supporter of Tseng's plot.

 **[Me]:** Whare are you suggesting?

 **[Inquisotor]:** You said that you would "never enter a bargain with them", quiaff?

 **[Me]:** Aff.

 **[Inquisitor]:** But, to repeat the Khan's words, your defense allows the possibility that you would still support someone else, namely Star Colonel Tseng, who would enter a bargain with the extremist Rasalhagian rebels. In fact, your eagerness to only claim that you would not enter the bargain personally makes this omission even more suspect.

 **[Me]:** Are you suggesting that I made a lie of omission of sorts?

 **[Inquisitor]:** Aff. I, and both Khans, are suggesting that.

 **[Me]:** I see. The nature of the crime must be gravely extreme to warrant both Khan accusing me of lying and breaking my oath!

 **[Inquisitor]:** (after consulting her earpiece) SaKhan Kabrinski confirms that the accusations are grave in the eyes of this Council, and both Khans warn you that accusing them of accusing you of lying is dangerous indeed. They do not believe that you would break your oath so severely. But they do want this next question answered: did you ally yourself with Star Colonel Charles Tseng while he plotted to utilize dangerous Rasalhague rebels against the Wolf Clan?

(more muttering)

 **[Me]:** (after a pause) Aff, I did.

(shouting among the Warriors, and wild accusations among the Warriors)

 **[Loremaster Tseng]:** There will be order in this trial!

 **[Khan Bjorn Jorgensson]:** Are we excitable cubs who lose all dignity at the faintest whiff of blood, quineg? I, too, am disgusted by what I am hearing. But I will not have this Council shame itself so.

(the Warriors settle down)

 **[Inquisitor]:** I see! So, Star Captain Bekker, you at last admit your role. You traded your honor as a Bloodnamed, trueborn Warrior in exchange for a dezgra operation against our enemies, the Wolf Clan. You are indeed complicit in Star Colonel Charles Tseng's plot!

 **[Me]:** Aff. But I was only a peripheral supporter in the whole affair. I provided only one report to Star Colonel Tseng in the interest of him finding and negotiating with representatives of the Rasalhagian extremists. The other conspirators, they played a much bigger role in this.

 **[Inquisitor]:** A bigger role than you, you mean?

 **[Me]:** Aff. Star Colonel Tseng did most of the work himself, with the aid of two of his own Star Captains. I acted on impulse, and my own emotions about the Wolf Clan, and gave him one relevant report when he requested it of me. But no more than that.

 **[Inquisitor]:** Just the one? I have gathered five more documents from you that you submitted to Star Colonel Tseng to advance his plot. And I have reason to believe that I will soon uncover more.

 **[Me]:** Neg. Only the original one is by my hand. And I had personal misgivings about my role soon afterwards, and I refused the Star Colonel's subsequent request for more information after I gave him the first report.

 **[Inquisitor]:** Oh? What you say contradicts the evidence I have found. Remember your oath, Star Captain Bekker.

 **[Me]:** My memory of all this is clear, and I dare not break my oath. Star Colonel Tseng is a cunning one. He may have suspected that he and the others would ber caught. Why, I do not put it past him to falsify or revise reports to shift blame away from him and toward others, such as me. Less pressure on him.

(mutterings)

 **[Inquisitor]:** (after consulting her earpiece) SaKhan Kabrinski asks if you are mocking us by suggesting that you are being forced to take the fall for Tseng by means of him falsifying records.

 **[Me]:** Aff. I am familiar with Tseng's mental profile. This is the sort of contingency plan he would concoct, to lessen the apparent severity of his own crimes.

 **[Vreena]:** I second the Star Captain's claim. I understand Michael Bekker's mental profile well. He is not as guilty as we are being led to believe. I, too, sense that Charles Tseng is putting you on Michael's trail to distract you from his own misdeeds.

(a few moments of muttering)

 **[Inquisitor]:** (after consulting her earpiece) Star Captain Michael Bekker, I speak for both Khans. In light of your and Star Colonel Vreena Jorgennson's claims, and the fact that our gathering of data is ongoing, we will place you in confinement until we are ready to reach a verdict. Be grateful; we are being very generous in these terms. I had hoped for a quicker resolution to this problem, but in your defense, there is a possibility that we can uncover more documents and audio recordings that may settle this trial one way or the other. Warriors, this Council gathering is put on recess until the final trial may take place. You will all be notified in the usual manner. None of you are to make contact with Star Captain Michael Bekker until then.

(transcript ends)

It is lucky that I am allowed my notebook to write all this. Well, to be fair, all this information is available in audio form anyway, and I would not dare risk leaking this information to anyone who could use it against me or the Ghost Bear Clan. The Khans trust me in this, and their trust is well-placed.

I will write more soon. This trial may very well alter the course of my entire Warrior career... or end it entirely!


	30. Chapter 30

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 702: January 10th, 3058**_

It is with a sigh of relief that I write this new entry, journal. Once again, I breathe free air, for the trials about Star Colonel Charles Tseng are over.

Members of the Scientist caste aided the Khans, and Star Colonel Krella Jorgennson (the Inquisitor in my trial) in investigating all relevant digital and print data regarding the Tseng plot. I do not know the details of how they discovered this next fact, but they did: indeed, Charles Tseng and his Star Captains falsified various records to shift the blame to me and a few other low-ranked officers in case the plot was ever uncovered! Freebirth! Not only did I impulsively aid a dezgra commander like Charles Tseng, but I nearly suffered severe punishment for crimes that I did not commit!

Instead, I was punished for the one crime I did commit: giving Star Colonel Tseng just one report to aid his cause. I cannot and will not deny that particular action, and I do not complain that the Khans moved to have me demoted to Star Commander rank. The Ghost Bear council voted on the matter, and just over 90% of the Warriors agreed with the punishment. Once again, I command only a star. But my Star Captaincy has taught me much, and I aspire to re-earn that rank when the time comes. And if that happens, I shall be a Star Captain with new humility and wisdom.

Star Colonel Vreena is still aghast at the whole affair. She found me and slapped me once, on the cheek, for my foolishness in aiding Charles Tseng at all. But then she embraced me and thanked me for not only backing out of Tseng's plot, but for my bravery in the Ghost Bear council meetings. Candace joked that I should have called for a Trial of Refusal in an attempt to avoid losing my rank at all, no matter the steep odds. We all had a chuckle over that, but a small part of me wonders if Candace was being sincere. She certainly had that glint in her eyes, like a little flash of lightning. I have seen that glint before, and destruction usually follows.

Thonn told me that he considered me as good as dezgra for my role in Tseng's plot, but quickly added that he does not expect to feel that way for long, and actually admitted that he will miss having me as his Star Captain. I told him that I planned to regain that rank soon, and his reaction was more or less "we will see." Carly GhostBear, meanwhile, urged me to perform some risky, all-or-none combat stunt to immediately warrant a Trial of Position to regain my Star Captaincy. I politely declined that idea, but like in Candace's, I believe that Carly must have been at least halfway sincere.

I hope that everything will soon return to normal. I see little reason why not; I will indeed pine for my Star Captain days, where I commanded fifteen Warriors against the DCMS, Wolf Clan, and Smoke Jaguar Clan. But with a Bloodname, I have a bit of a shortcut to future promotions; if I were _not_ Bloodnamed, I would probably end up in a solahma unit before receiving another promotion. Stravag! I know that one day I shall be old and useless, and step aside to allow newer, better sibkos to take my place. But to end up outdated and rusty so soon after such a humiliating trial! A very poor end of my career that would make.

At any rate, it feels good to write these facts and sentiments down, and I shall channel more of these energies to carving my Great Work. I am working slowly and carefully on that statue, with precision guiding my hammer and chisel so I do not chip away even a tiny flake of stone that must not leave the whole. After all, what a ridiculous dishonor it would be to carve something off by accident, then glue it back together! I smile and shake my head at the very thought. By now, the sitting Ghost Bear has roughly taken shape, but no fine details are yet present. And the Star League symbol over its head is still a disk that awaits further carving to form the points. Well, it gives me something to look forward to.

Until next time I write, journal.


	31. Chapter 31

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 729: May 4th, 3058**_

The Bear waits. The Bear watches. For some time, journal, I delayed writing about this particular topic, because I wanted to see further developments before evaluating it and deciding just what I really think of it. By now, I feel ready to dive into the topic.

That Refusal War really shook things up here in the Inner Sphere. For some time, Clan Wolf looked ripe for plunder, and I and many others clamored for the all-clear for heavy raiding into their occupation zone. Even Star Colonel Vreena Jorgennson sought a chance to hurt the Wolves, but Galaxy Commander Laurie Tseng held us back, as did Khanas Jorgennson and Kabrinski. One of their reasons to hold back was the potential for Clan Smoke Jaguar, and vengeful DCMS units, to strike our exposed rear. In that, they are wise to be cautious... but by the Founders, how I wanted to rake my claws on the Wolves! I pictured myself leading my Star to glory against those dogs, perhaps taking a world or two before reinforcing our new front line.

But, alas, no. There has been some pent-up pressure in my Trinary, and we have been fighting plenty of unaugmented battles in the Circle of Equals to vent ourselves. I actually bested Thonn for a change, and he took it surprisingly well. Perhaps he appreciates my show of strength, a promise that I may soon return to Star Captain rank. At any rate, Vreena defeated both Thonn and I rather handily! She is an exemplary Warrior, to be sure, and I saw a quick smile on her face after she bested us. Ursina looks up to her more than ever, though I warned Ursina of the danger of idolizing a Warrior. What if Ursina held herself back to keep Vreena on that pedestal? Or if Ursina made a poor decision in Vreena's defense against an imagined slight? Well, I doubt that things will go that far, anyway.

Candace and Carly, meanwhile, seem to alternate between pressuring me to demand a Trial of Position and wanting me to wait and prove myself against Clan Wolf. Should I enter battle against the Wolves as a Star Captain, or attain that rank fighting against them? I admit, it is an evenly-balanced dilemma, and Vreena was not sure what to say, either.

I digress. Sorry about that, journal. Back on the Clan Wolf topic: the Harvest Trials have refilled the Wolves' touman pretty effectively by now, and Clan Jade Falcon has had similar success. And Khan Marthe Pryde of the Jade Falcons even pushed into Lyran space to prove it! What a move. To be fair, she is operating well above the truce line, though I have ny sympathy for those birds. I am sure that they will take at least a few more planets, but a stronger Clan Jade Falcon is only a bigger threat pointed at my own Clan.

Clan Wolf, meanwhile, had a bigger development. I should say, a tremendous one, a change that challenges what it means to be a Clan in these dynamic times. This is the main topic of this journal entry: Clan Wolf has split! Right down the line between Warden and Crusader. Now, the Wolves in their occupation zone are Crusaders, led by that hothead Vlad Ward. I have heard much about him, and his intense rivalry with that freeborn Khan, Phelan Ward. Wait; now, as I have leard, he goes by Phelan Kell, with "Kell" becoming an actual Bloodname now. What an idea! I have heard of Bloodnames and Bloodrights being reaved before, but created? How interesting! What Warriors will rise from that new line? Good ones? Incredible ones? Disappointing ones? Too soon to say. My own career may be finished by the time anyone knows that.

So, what is Khan Phelan Kell in command of? The first new Clan in many years: Clan Wolf-in-Exile, based on that planet Arc-Royal in Lyran space. That is right: the home of the Kell Hounds mercenary unit, from which Phelan originated. This Clan even lends a hand (paw?) with the Arc-Royal Defense Cordon whenever it can, even fighting against the Jade Falcons. Ha! I wonder what the birds think of this, having to face two Wolf Clans! I can imagine the look on Khan Marthe Pryde's face, having to juggle these two foes. Luckily for me, I will not have to deal with a two-front conflict like that. Clan Wolf-in-Exile is firmly Warden, and the Ghost Bears are not immediately poised to resume the invasion, not with the way politics are right now.

This brings up a personal point: where do _I_ stand? I browsed my older entries from the original invasion waves, and I can easily say that I began my career Crusader, for the purpose of spurring the invasion to a quick resolution. After all, the invasion's momentum was unstoppable, so why not accelerate things? I did not come here to the Inner Sphere to bathe myself in blood and gobble up glory in my enemies' death. I only want Terra in our hands so the barbarian Successor States can be subdued and guided to the future under the Star League banner.

But now? Our momentum is slow, and the Inner Sphere is more capable by the day of resisting us. They know our tactics and methods. They are gaining new technology. They even have strategic guidance in the form of Phelan Kell! Phelan accelerated Clan Wolf earlier this decade, but now, he is a firm buffer between the occupation zones and the rest of the Inner Sphere. In the face of this, where am I? Part of me still yearns for the Star League banner in our hands. But is that even feasible now? I do not wish to scorn the memory of the Kerenskys by abandoning that noble dream. But we are growing comfortable here, and the local Kuritans are learning to accept us, and the Kell Hounds welcomed Clan Wolf-in-Exile! There is a certain meshing going on here, and renewing the invasion seems tricky, if not impossible, in this state of affairs.

Am I growing Warden? Perhaps so. Many others in Beta Galaxy are leaning that way, particularly Ursina and even Candace! Carly GhostBear wants to invade whenever possible, but that is the Jade Falcon blood in her speaking. More relevantly, Star Colonel Vreena Jorgensson wishes for Clan Ghost Bear to profit from raids, but not necessarily from Kuritan blood. I relish the samurai spirit of the DCMS and their skill in battle, but more and more, the DCMS is a wary neighbor rather than an opposing army. And the FRR is not even a real threat, let alone a major obstacle to taking Terra. More and more, I cannot picture myself joining the fiery charge to Terra, truce line or not. Whatever the Smoke Jaguars and Jade Falcons say, I do not see this playing out well, or at all. True to the wisdom of our Clan's two Founders, I shall wait... and watch. The whole Clan shall do so. Whatever comes to pass, the Bear shall stand tall and proud!

I can write no more for today, journal. I am tired, and my bunk calls to me. Well, perhaps I will read a few more verses of _The Remembrance_ before sleep. I have been using it as guidance and comfort more and more in these chaotic times, and today is no exception.


	32. Chapter 32

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 _ **Entry 756: December 15th, 3058**_

I have brought up this topic many times since I first learned of it, journal, for it is too monumental for me to withhold. The Second Star League! Only now are my thoughts even halfway coherent, and we of the 32nd, and indeed all of Clan Ghost Bear, may need years to fully process this, and all its implications for our future.

I can say this now: what an irony that Operation REVIVAL, designed to resurrect the Star League of old, prompted the five Successor States to unite into this new Star League in order to oppose us. Ha! In a manner, Operation REVIVAL succeeded after all! Should I be happy about this? More no than yes on that. The banner flies over Terra once again, but it was not by Clan hands, not at all. The Jade Falcons' aggression, led by that reckless Khan Marthe Pryde, molded this anti-Clan unity before our very eyes. Those birds so dearly covet Terra, and now look! The freeborn barbarians achieved their dream for them. How that must rank on them! And me.

Just who is leading this new super-power? I hear that the First Lord is Sun-Tzu Liao of the Capellan Confederation, the smallest Successor State. Why him? From what I have seen on news vids, he is cunning and brilliant of mind, and he crafts his actions and thoughts on the future and all its potential bounty. What foresight! Worthy of any of Clan Nova Cat's so-called mystics, or the Goliath Scorpions' visions. I usually did not put puch stock in Nova Cat or Goliath Scorpion predictions or venom-induced visions, but Sun-Tzu Liao has a more tangible and... well, down-to-earth way of embracing the future. I cannot state it another way; his mind baffles me, and in a good way, at least, for him. I can respect such a leader.

Now, what actions will this new Star League take, and when? I can already imagine future assaults on the Jade Falcons, for they made the most recent major incursion into barbarian space. That Lyran world, Coventry... I do not think Archon Katrina Steiner will soon forget that, and neither will First Lord Sun-Tzu Liao! Khan Pryde must be breaking out in a cold sweat, for I am sure she is having similar thoughts! I would smile in glee at the thought of those birds scrambling to marshal a defense... but suppose the new Star League's power were turned on the other Clans?

I cannot stop having those thoughts! The Jade Falcons will not be the only ones to face a united Inner Sphere. Suppose the Rasalhagians talk Sun-Tzu Liao into retaking their worlds from Clan Wolf? Again, I am no friend of the Wolves, but a blow to them could open up Ghost Bear flanks to attack! I shudder to think about it, but as a Star Commander on a front-line unit, it will be my neck on the line if such a thing were to happen. Or Clan Smoke Jaguar? They, too, have drawn the unforgiving ire of the Draconis Combine, and I can imagine Theodore and Hohiro Kurita demanding retribution on the cats. That, too, could open up Ghost Bear flanks! My Clan's occupation zone is densely populated here, closer to Terra, but closer to the Periphery, it is more lightly manned. I can imagine multiple worlds falling to the new SLDF if the Smoke Jaguars are pushed out of the way.

That scenario is an abomination! The Star League, reborn by barbarian hands, and pushing us out of this paradise! It is the very opposite of our invasion, and if the SLDF were to drive all invading Clans out, there is pracatically no chance that we could make another serious push to Terra without Home Clan assistance, and a lot of it. Some of those Clans were eager to invade, and perhaps they would leap at the chance to test their mettle against such a foe. Would the Ice Hellions aid us? Could the Blood Spirits emerge from their bitter isolation to lend a hand? Or even the Fire Mandrills? I have little faith in the Hellions or Mandrills to do more than distract SLDF forces while powerful Clans like mine would drive the main assault. Stravag! It would take months for them just to arrive. Could we invading Clans hold out long enough?

I must stop this. My wild conjectures are knotting my brain into a stressed ball, and I can feel a headache coming on. What good does it today, while I sit on my bunk's edge, picturing the Ice Hellions and Blood Spirits arriving too late to fight the SLDF? Would things even go that far? I cannot say. I do not think that anyone can say! If Candace or Carly saw these words, they would challenge me to a friendly bout in a Circle of Equals just to burn these noxious thoughts from my mind. Perhaps I should, anyway. Thonn may be up to it. Or any other comers.

I will stop there. My mind needs rest.

 **Entry 804: November 12th, 3059**

Something incredible happened today, journal, something that seems almost surreal, dreamlike, when I recall it. But it happened so recently! Only hours earlier, in fact, during the late afternoon. It is night now, here on Jarett, and the capital city is finally quiet again. But we have patrols out, just to be sure.

What the Spheroid barbarians call "Operation BULLDOG" is well underway, and a handful of Smoke Jaguar worlds have already fallen to SLDF and Clan Nova Cat forces. Such a sight it is on the news vids! Vicious and bloody combat, so close to my own Clan's borders. Khans Bjorn Jorgensson and Aletha Kabrinski are wary of our borders, I am sure, but so far, violence has not visited itself on Clan Ghost Bear.

Why is this relevant to today? Because the yakuza underworld here on Jarett, and violent rebels, have surfaced once again. I had hoped that by now, the Kuritans had fully learned to live under the Ghost Bear banner, and most have. More on that soon. But the bitter resentment still runs under the surface, and it has erupted in full force.

These dissidents are no doubt inspired by Operation BULLDOG's success against the Smoke Jaguars, and seeing Draconis Combine worlds freed from the cats gave these rebels the idea that now, with a Clan on the defensive, all Clans are vulnerable. Now, a good warrior strikes when opportunity presents itself. But what happened in the lat twenty-four hours was a vile act of cowardice and treachery that only a freeborn's tainted mind could conceive.

Right now, the 68th Striker Cluster of Delta Galaxy is stationed here on Jarett, alongside the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster, to shore up this world's defenses against any possible attack. Earlier today, the Star Captains and Star Colonels, as well as other support staff of both Clusters, met with planetary officials for their monthly meeting and strategic planning. However, the yakuza uprising transformed it into a hostage situation with astounding speed.

Stravag! I cannot believe how fast they struck, or how little warning we received. Neither Cluster was prepared to react in time, and before we knew it, the yakuza had used armored vehicles, many stolen weapons, and the element of surprise to capture city hall and barricade it, with everyone inside as hostages. Sheer numbers and heavy weapons allowed the freebirth yakuza rebels to capture our commanders and the planetary officials and hold them like helpless animals in the meeting room at the building's center. The yakuza rebels even set up video equipment to broadcast their actions to every news channel in the city, and they spoke of their opportunity to oust all Clans from the Inner Sphere now that the Clans were on the defensive.

The interesting part of this tale is that the common people of Jarett responded poorly to this! I could hear them. They decried the terrorism taking place and demanded that their people, and my fellow Clansmen, be freed and peace resume on Jarett. The police, too, cooperated fully with the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster and the 68th Striker Cluster, and we all had city hall surrounded and attempted to negotiate. The police chief made little headway, but somehow, some way, I felt the need to step in. I dismounted from my _Stormcrow-_ A and used the live video recorder that the police chief had set up, and addressed the yakuza directly.

I cannot fully replicate what I told them or how I said it. The words, and the passion behind them, all seemed to form on their own accord, and I merely channeled them. Perhaps this was the culmination of all my musings and thoughts in the back of my mind? At any rate, I can summarize what I said, that I reminded the yakuza that the Kuritans and Ghost Bears had started working and prospering together despite the odds, that foolish bloodshed like this needlessly perpetrates a cycle of honorless violence and innocent lives lost anong the way, and that my Clan will not be ousted so easily anyway. I traded arguments with the yakuza group's leader, and with the aid of the police chief, I brought them to submission. The yakuza rebels threw down their arms and allowed the police, and Ghost Bear Elementals, to enter city hall without any loss of life and bring the situation to a quick end.

I must also commend the spirit of my officers during this ordeal. The whole time, Star Colonel Vreena was kneeled on the tile floor on the video screen, hands behind her head, looking down while a yakuza freeborn kept his assault rifle aimed at her head. I could see her rapidly muttering words to herself without stop, and when I turned the volume up, I could just make out the words. She was quoting passages of The Remembrance that honored patience, trust, and undying spirit in the face of gerat adversity, and there, unarmed against yakuza thugs, those glorious words brought her the peace necessary to endure. The yakuza rebels seemed confused at her words but made no effort to silence her; they did not seem to consider her quotations a threat. Good; I would not have my commanding officer shot for reciting that sacred text!

I have only recently received the news that for my handling of the situation, I am being considered for a Trial of Position for the rank of Star Captain. I am honored, and I will write at once if this transpires. My own prestige is not the most important outcome of this day, however; it is possible that from this day on, there will be no more rebellion or terror on Jarett or anywhere in my Clan's occupation zone. We are here to stay; let us share a unified future with the Kuritans for the benefit of all.

I will end there for today.

 **Entry 805: November 15th, 3059**

Today's entry will be a short one, for only one event of importance took place: I completed my Trial of Position, and I am, once again, Star Captain Michael Bekker. I piloted a _Warhawk_ -A to great effect, and I defeated a volunteer MechWarrior from Delta Galaxy. He survived the duel with minimal injuries, I have heard, and he will recover in a few days at most. Now, I have reclaimed my rank, and I eagerly look to the future to see what other prestige I may earn in the touman.

And in the Council, I have certainly created a buzz among the Bloodnamed Warriors there for my negotiation with the yakuza. It shall soon fade into memory as newer and more pressing issues present themselves to the Clan, but finally, the spotlight shines on me in a flattering way, unlike my trial for my part in the Charles Tseng affair. My Starmates, most of all Candace, are quite proud that I have resumed command of our Trinary. Whatever opposition we may face, I will stand ready, as I ever have.

That is all for today.


	33. Chapter 33

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 840: June 5th, 3060**

I am happy to report that, six months into the new decade, unity and cohesion between Clan Ghost Bear and the people of the Draconis Combine and FRR are at a new height here in the Ghost Bear Dominion. It has been some time since the last armed uprising, such as the incident when my Galaxy's officers were held as hostages back on Jarett. Here on Alshain, there have been no such disturbances, and nothing of serious importance anywhere in my Clan's space.

Is this new peace in my slice of space due to the destruction of Clan Smoke Jaguar and the Great Refusal? I have been mulling over these questions for some time, and it may be some time still before I have it all figured it out. Stravag, the last decade has turned all of humanity upside down! I still recall the early months of Operation REVIVAL a decade ago, how I was steeped in Crusader fervor, with Terra beckoning. How impossible that dream has become. Clan Jade Falcon, and the Crusader half of Clan Wolf, still have eyes for Terra, as far as I know. Much more so the Falcons. But I have found myself entrenched in the Warden faction for some time now, along with the rest of the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster.

Enough of that. I have written many rueful entries on that whole topic in the recent weeks, and it is growing tedious, quiaff? I have more interesting updates. While my own Great Work, my Ghost Bear sculpture, is coming along well, Ursina has launched her own Great Work into the next phase. Inspired by recent events, and with a rush bolstered pride in her and my Clan, she has completed a rough composition for her Great Work: a stage play of the history of our Clan.

A stage production! This Great Work represents what makes our Clan mighty: unity and cooperation among warriors, who weave together as family to create something bigger than any of us. Such an impressive feat! Ursina has always been the meekest and most soft-spoken in my Star, or even my whole Trinary. By now, however, her passion has reared itself and shines, and I am honored to take part in this group effort of hers.

How does this work? Ursina is still working this out as it goes, but for now, she has outlined each phase of the play and the historical periods represented in them, and some costumes and props have been procured, most of them from the Kuritan merchant caste. Additionally, there are two Warriors from the fire support Trinary, Katerina and Stanislaw Snuka, who have combined their Great Works into a single symphony, and they agreed with Ursina to use it in her stage production. Now, with so many components assembled, Ursina titled her Great Work "The Ghost Bears: The Howl that Echoes Through the Stars."

It is my understanding that this is a relatively wordy name, but it is accurate, at any rate. I forgot who said this, but early in Operation REVIVAL, I overheard an officer say "The howl of the Bear shall echo across the stars for all time!" By that, he meant that Clan Ghost Bear will surely crush all armed opposition and conquer Terra. But that is not the point here.

Amusingly, Thonn at first refused to play a part, considering this whole affair "freeborn debauchery". His attitude changed, however, when Ursina offered him the role of the Ghost Bear that first found the great Founders, Hans Jorgensson and Sandra Tseng, in the Strana Mechty snows. He now operates a massive, life-like puppet of the Ghost Bear (with artificial fur and other decorations). As for myself, Ursina gladly gave me the role of Hans Ole Jorgennson.

I can hardly believe it! Such an honor, to assume the role of so legendary and great a man. I had half a mind to refuse, afraid of tainting his sacred memory with my imitations of him. But our history is a living thing, and I will of course do my part to relive it. I admit, for the first few days of rehearsals, I tripped over my own words and hesitated to act or speak, being so afraid to misrepresent or unintentionally mock one of our great Founders. That certainly slowed down our practice, and it was humorous to hear Thonn, speaking through the puppet ghost bear's mouth, to berate me for slowing everything down.

Still, a live orchestra played Katerina and Stanislaw's music, a rousing set of songs based on old Russian orchestra and folk songs, music that is at once proud, humble, brooding, and aggressive. The changes in mood perfectly suit the changes of events in Ursina's production, an elegant melding of Great Works.

Candace, for her part, plays a saKhan from late in the Golden Century, and Carly represented the Not-Named Clan as a whole, a personification of that vile, extinct Clan. Stravag! It is only a reenactment, but seeing any representation of the Not-Named Clan boils my blood. I remember taking my tradtional oath to hunt down and slay any living members of that Clan, and the shame of the Ghost Bear Warriors who, centuries past, failed in that mission. Is it fitting that an abtakha warrior from Clan Jade Falcon plays this part? I wonder if Ursina assigned Carly this role on purpose.

There is more work left to do, of course, for this production. I am eager to see the 3050s decade represented because, like the _Remembrance_ itself, this play keeps itself up-to-date for a thorough representation of our Clan. Ursina has not yet chosen members from our Cluster to play the parts of Karl Bourjon, Khan Bjorn Jorgensson, and saKhan Aletha Kabrinski yet, nor Spheroid figures such as Anastasius Focht (for the Battle of Tukayyid scene). I am sure that Ursina will choose the best people for the job. Never have I seen her more engaged in a project, nor this... happy, and energetic. Truly, her Great Work completes her as a Clan Ghost Bear Warrior. I could not be more proud to have her in my Trinary under my command.

On that note, I will end today's entry, journal. Until next week.


	34. Chapter 34

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 974: October 30th, 3062**

War has touched the Ghost Bear Dominion in earnest, journal. I refrained from writing more on this topic earlier, but by now, it is clear what the Kuritans want from us: their former lands.

The Alshain Regulars unit suffered great lesses during Operation REVIVAL, and now, during the chaos of what is called the FedCom Civil War, the Regulars burned a hot trail for Dominion space and struck. But they were not alone! Clan Nova Cat, whose Warriors seem increasingly comfortable living here in the Inner Sphere, launched their own flanking maneuver against the Alshain Regulars. I heard all this straight from Star Colonel Vreena Jorgensson and Galaxy Commander Laurie Tseng, and their intel has always been solid in my eyes. It would seem that the Cats intercepted and destroyed an entire regiment of Regulars forces even before the Regulars set foot on their target, Alshain. Where I currently reside.

What is the meaning of this? I had hoped that Ghost Bear-House Kurita relations had reached a plateau of if not friendship, then mutual nonaggression. How can the Warlord of the Combine launch such an attack? Is he really such a foolish opportunist? Or... and this is a hunc so far on Galaxy Commander Tseng's part... the Alshain Regulars are acting on their own volition, perhaps spurred on by anti-Clan radicals within Draconis Combine space. Part of me hopes that this is so. If Theodore Kurita or any of his associates authorized this, there could be many more attacks in succession, with the weight of perhaps the entire DCMS thrown against the Bears! Our Warriors are great, but the DCMS is quite large. Suppose, if they had enough numbers to bring to bear against us, they could make significant gains? It is not terribly likely, but one must consider such things. More likely, however, House Kurita would suffer much more greatly than my Clan in outright war.

Soon, very soon, the Alshain Regulars will enter our system and attempt their assault, despite losing one of their four regiments. Ghost Bear naval assets are on standby, Galaxy Commander Tseng reassured us, and they shall keep the interloping Regulars at bay.

I share her confidence, as did most of the Clan Ghost Bear Council when we convened the day before yesterday to discuss our Clan's response to this aggression. Just who ordered the Alshain Regulars to strike? Some among us insist that Theodore Kurita, and anyone else close to him, masterminded this attack while planning to claim that the Regulars are acting on their own, motivated by vengeance. It is not an implausible scenario, but, as I argued in the Council, Theodore risks much by having Kuritan forces attack us, officially sanctioned or not. The Inner Sphere powers are closing the technology gap, but the training and superior machines of we Clanners gives us a serious advantage even in this decade.

Now, with nearly the whole of Clan Ghost Bear in this territory, would Theodore Kurita really risk our ire, quineg? Some in the Council were unswayed by my words, but others were of a similar mind, prominent among them Star Colonel Vreena Jorgennson. Ah, Vreena! Ever my friend on the battlefield and here in the Council. She, too, argued that no Inner Sphere power, not even the honorable Kuritans, would so casually make war with the Clans.

What is the end result of our meeting, you may wonder? What you may expect: our touman is on high alert and prepared to defend Alshain, along with other border worlds such as Jarett and Marawle. My own Beta Galaxy is slated to defend Alshain from the interloping Alshain Regulars any day now, and I am sure that within two weeks, we will meet them on the field of battle. The Bear's claws are sharp, its nostrils flared with the scent of its enemy. Let the Dragon come!

I should also say, on a lighter note, that already, political cartoons of this situation are circling about. One such cartoon shows Theodore Kurita looking alarmed, shouting "No! Stop!" as three squat samurai, their armor decorated with the Alshain Regulars insignia, approach a slumbering white bear with their swords held high. I have to wonder, though: why is my Clan usually represented by a _sleeping_ bear in these political cartoons? Is it because we do not launch overtly aggressive campaigns like Clan Jade Falcon, quiaff? Better a slumbering giant than a dead fool!

Until next time, journal.

 **Entry 976: November 12th, 3062**

The defense of Alshain was a bloody one, and fortunately for my fellows, most of that blood was drawn from Kuritan forces during their foolish attack. My the Clan be praised! By now, many in the Ghost Bear Council, especially myself, are sure that the Alshain Regulars acted on their own accord. Either way, the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster, alongside other units such as the 243rd Battle Cluster, broke the main push of the Alshain Regulars' assault, almost by the book. Before then, the Ghost Bear navy inflicted considerable losses on the attackers, but that is outside my expertise. I can only say that even with a limited navy, my Clan is mighty on all battlefields.

There is so much more to say! Events are still unfolding, journal, but it seems that the Ghost Bear Dominion and the Draconis Combine are being drawn into a larger conflict like a whirlpool. Here on Alshain, the Alshain Regulars have scattered into the wilderness to launch guerrilla raids against us, and for a change, a small part of me relishes the challenges. These are not stravag bandits; the samurai of the DCMS must surely have some greater plan. If they do not... then I look forward to the day when I meet them on a proper battlefield! For now, however, I led my Trinary under Star Colonel Jorgensson's command, and I personally dueled and struck down an enemy _Grand Dragon_ in my _Stormcrow_ -A, a satisfying victory on my part.

I attempted to duel several more enemy 'Mechs, including a heavily-modified _Trebuchet_ and an _Argus_ , a brand-new Inner Sphere 'Mech with considerable firepower and armor. What a design it is! Unfortunately, I cannot say much more, because its dezgra pilot retreated after only a few blows were exchanged! I look forward to studying new Inner Sphere models as they walk off the assembly line. But it will not be here and now.

I am here at a base camp, and from here I can see several plateaus in the near distance under the stars' light, and some sweeping pine forests elsewhere. It seems so tranquil. And it is _home_. These ronin MechWarriors (a Kuritan term) will not make fools of us in the bear's den! Nor will Clan Wolf, or any other enemy who rises to meet the bear!

Sorry. I get carried away, especially on a battlefield like this. I will write soon. I expect that this defensive campaign will be over by then.


	35. Chapter 35

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,032: December 7th, 3063**

We have a new enemy, journal! Freebirth! This situation is becoming more complicated than the Council expected. Our counter-attack into Kuritan space has lost some momentum, and we are now trying to find a new angle for our counter-offensive. But from another region of space, we face a much older enemy: Clan Hell's Horses. That is right, the Horses are biting and nibbling at our flank, and we may lose worlds to them if we cannot handle this situation with finesse. The Council is already turning on itself, unsure where to devote our fighting strength and why.

Personally, I argued to divert forces to repelling the Horses; for one, because we must set a harsh example to our old enemies, and two, surely the Federated Suns will strike at the preoccupied Draconis Combine and draw some of its forces away. However, some other Bloodnamed members of the Council would rather push harder into Kuritan space. I am not certain, but some seem to want to claim all the worlds formerly in the Clan Smoke Jaguar occupation zone. Perhaps a symbolic victory?

I can say little more for now, given how chaotic this situation is becoming. I can only say for sure that I look foward to testing my mettle against these many foes!

 **Entry 1,034: December 24th, 3063**

The wisdom and strength of the Founders were truly with my Khan, journal. This messy, awkward conflict between my Clan and the Draconis Combine has spiraled out of control despite its limited scale, with both the Federated Suns and Clan Hell's Horses encroaching on Ghost Bear and Kuritan space. Khan Jorgensson arranged for a Trial of Possession for the world of Courcheval to settle matters, and all other planets that have changed hands have been returned to their original owners.

Part of me wishes that my Clan could have permanently gained control of new worlds and expanded the Ghost Bear Dominion. But I am merely a Star Captain, an instrument of the Clan's will. That has ever been the case, but at any rate, my great trust in the Khans was well-founded. Though I myself did not participate, Clan Ghost Bear emerged victorious in the Trial of Possession for Courcheval, and Coordinator Theodore Kurita gracefully accepted his defeat. Now, peace resumes between our realms, and just in time!

Why is this so timely? The aforementioned Clan Hell's Horses! Those bothersome surats have already claimed three worlds from us, and I have heard word that Khan Vlad Ward of Clan Wolf actually talked them into it! My anger at Clan Wolf has found new heights in light of this, and given what I have heard in my Clan's Council, a retaliatory strike against both the Wolves and Hell's Horses is possible. Good! I am eager to take part in such an assault. In fact, I would be happy to help eject the Hell's Horses entirely from the Inner Sphere! Let them slink back to the Homeworlds where they belong! The Wolves will not be so easily dislodged, but they can at least be taught a lesson. We can bloody the wolf's nose to discourage its habit of biting us, quiaff?

I can say little more for today, except for one amusing note: today is what some Spheroids consider "Christmas Eve," whatever that is. I have heard of many freeborn customs ever since settling into my Clan's space a decade ago, but I have not learned much except for the Kuritans' bushido code, the history of the Free Rasalhague Republic, and the chronicled lives of great Spheroid leaders. Ursina, however, delved deeper and, to her amusement, discovered that Christmas Eve is the traditional anticipation for tomorrow, Christmas _Day_. An evening and a day? I would rather just have everything together in the day. Gift-giving and prayer to the Christian God seem to be prominent in this ritual, but neither means much to me. Christians are an odd folk, as are the Buddhists, Muslims, and Hindus. The Kerenskys and the Founders are great figures as it is; they are what made the Clans, and all our enlightened ways, possible.

Still, one wonders what sort of gifts are given. Supplies? Weapons? Medicine? Or even Great Works? Oh, I imagine that Candace would be most grateful if I were to fashion a knife for her, a personal gift. Perhaps I should do so, Christmas Eve or not. I am unsure whether the gifts are given on the evening or day of Christmas. No matter. I shall get to work right away.

Until next time I write, journal.


	36. Chapter 36

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,040: February 25th, 3064**

What a strange feeling it is, journal, to be the center of controversy and even threats of violence... but not for matters of the battlefield. As of now, the Arts and Historical Society of Alshain, and my Clan, have been drawn into a feud, where I am the center. The topic: my Great Work!

No, there is no real threat of serious fighting or destruction, but there is still a debate among the populace, as well as various governing entities. I feel like a spotlight has been shone onto me, and even now, Urisna and others in my Cluster find themselves the topic of this debate, too. What, exactly, is the place for a Great Work here on conquered Kuritan planets? My Great Work, my carving of the ghost bear sitting and admiring the Star League's symbol, has been offered a place in the Alshain Planetary Museum. The curator there, a certain Kenzo Matsuhara, is adamant that what I have created is an essential piece of Alshain history.

Why does he say this? Well, to begin with, Clan Ghost Bear has become tightly interwoven with this slice of former Combine space, and we are no longer occupiers, but citizens and semi-natives of this place. We have no more hold in the Homeworlds so far away, and the formation of the Ghost Bear Dominion cemented this transition in 3060 (with Clan Snow Raven's aid, for which I and the other Ghost Bears are eternally grateful). My personal story, and that of all Ghost Bears, is a living representation of what this area of space has become, and what it could become later in the future. I was born on Arcadia, a planet unknown to the Inner Sphere barbarians until recently, and I now live here, over a hundred light-years away. What stories I could tell, especially through something as permanent as my Great Work!

The museum curator, Mr. Matsuhara, actually met with Star Colonel Vreena Jorgensson, and she quickly invited me to the discussion. I hesitated when Mr. Matsuhara made his offer. He also offered me a large sum of money for my Great Work, but I told him the truth: that I have no need for it. A clever man, Mr. Matsuhara changed tack at once and encouraged me to help represent what the Daconis Combine has become, and the potential for Ghost Bear-House Kurita relations. Art is universal, he reminded me, and I would be immortalized for my contribution. And not just me; Ursina's play, as well as some other Great Works, would all contribute.

I shared this information with my fellows in the 32nd Assault Cluster, and the reaction was mixed. Some Warriors see our Great Works as a chance to impress the supremacy of our Clan to the Kuritan civilians, as well as dispel some negative views and stereotypes of us. Many Spheroids still see us Clanners as monsters from Hell, or bloodthirsty psychos from deep space. This could show them that in some deep human level, perhaps we are not so different.

Others, such as Thonn and Carly GhostBear, oppose the sharing of our Great Works. The Kuritans must accept us here whether or not they like us, they argued, and Great Works are a sacred work of Clan Ghost Bear that are not to be thrown about lightly. What is next? Teach _The Remembrance_ in public schools, or enforce zellbrigen in civilain life such as in bar fights? I shudder to imagine the freeborn civilians casually quoting, and misunderstanding, our sacred poem! It is not worthy of their tongues, and neither is zellbrigen. These things, and many more, were created to make the Clans strong and independent of the petty and selfish ambitions that tore apart the old Star League. Why treat them like toys?

In the end, however, I elected to have my Great Work added to Mr. Matsuhara's museum, on the condition that it is well-protected by a glass display case and armed guards, as well as security cameras. I would sooner fight the entirety of the Com Guards alone than have some freeborn miscreant vandalize what I have worked so hard to create! I hope that very soon, the public debates and demonstrations will cease and that no violence will break out. Already, some informal coalitions have formed. Two stand opposed to each other: the Free Art movement that supports Clan art in museums, and the Sacred Traditions group that opposes any Clan art from being made public.

Some major political, cultural, and media-based figures have taken various sides, but I am not terribly concerned about any of that. Candace privately gave me her full support and encouragement for my art, for which I am most grateful. For all her bloodthirsty and disruptive ways, Candace has never wavered in her loyalty to me, nor have I ever strayed from my commitment to her. She looks forward to the public's opinion of my Great Work, she said, and would challenge any critics to a Trial of Grievance at once! She was only teasing me, but once again, I thought I saw a gleam of truth in her eyes.

On a similar note, Ursina's play, once it is complete, shall be performed before a live audience here on Alshain. The support crew will be local in origin, though of course, all actors will be members of the 32nd. Not even the most talented kabuki actors, or "Western theater" actors, will be permitted. It is a Clan work about the story of the Ghost Bears, nothing more or less.

I will stop there for now.

 **Entry 1,042: March 7th, 3064**

With great haste, my Great Work was submitted to the Alshain Planetary Museum, and local art critics had their say about it. As I was promised, Mr. Matsuhara enforced many security measures to prevent anti-Clan vandalism or theft of my work, or that of other Great Works being submitted. Already, several Great Works from Alpha Galaxy and Gamma Galaxy are on display as well. Here are some responses to my own Great Work, which is now titled "The Bear Ponders."

 _(from The Alshain Times) "The Bear Ponders", carved by Star Captain Michael Bekker, is a deceptively intricate work contained within the blunt portrayal of a ghost bear (native to the distant Strana Mechty) sitting while contemplating the Star League's symbol hovering nearby. This simple duet of the bear and the origin of its Clan emphasize the great debate of the Clan Invasion: did the Clans return to restore their revered ancestry, or did they lose sight of this goal and arrive merely to reap the bounty of the Inner Sphere's many worlds? Perhaps there will never be a conclusive answer, nor need there be one. 8/10. -Katsu Ieyasu._

I should note that "8/10" is the critic's number-based score of quality. An 8 out of 10 is considered "very good", but not the best. All the same, I will accept the review as is.

 _(from Alshain Local Herald) This statue, carved by Star Captain Michael Bekker of the Ghost Bear Clan, is what apparently passes for high art among the invaders. A bear, watching the Star League's famous logo? Is it meant to wait for something? Has it decided to not take action after all? Does it not even understand what it is seeing? This piece's message is abstract at best, and largely irrelevant now. In the wake of the Great Refusal, it is highly unlikely that Clan Ghost Bear, or even Clan Wolf, will reclaim the old Star League as its own. Perhaps Mr. Bekker would be best off focusing on his battlfield tactics. -Junji Aobara_

Hmmmmmmm. Mr. Aobara did not provide a number-based score, but he seems unimpressed by what I have created, unlike Mr. Ieyasu.

 _(from The Dragon's News) This statue, "The Bear Ponders", is clearly not a benign work of art, but Clan propaganda that will entice the minds of Kuritans into accepting Clan ways and allowing the Clans greater control of our worlds, our resources, and our every minds. This is not a metaphor; no doubt, advanced Clan devices have been planted into the stone to radiate gamma waves to indoctrinate every musum visitor's mind to the way of the Clans! All Clan art within the museum, in fact, is a part of this insidious plot to advance the Clan Invasion in spite of our victory in the Great Refusal! The Clans have abandoned honor in thiss new and desperate bid to conquer Terra, and this master plot begins in the museum, and in the very soul of our people! -Haru Orabashi_

I did not know what to make of this particular review until a Star Captain from Alpha Galaxy, who also had his Great Work placed in the museum, explained that _The Dragon's News_ is what is called "tabloid" journalism. In effect, sensationalism is emphasized over objective accuracy. To me, the very idea seems like little more than an insult to anyone whose age is in double digits. But that is only my opinion.

I will continue to listen closely for any reviews and media coverage of Great Works being submitted to the Alshain Planetary Museum and other public places. Quite a fascinating topic it has become! I can say no more for today. Until next time, journal.


	37. Chapter 37

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,228: January 6th, 3068**

What follows, journal, is a transcript of the Clan Ghost Bear Council meeting today. It does not cover the entire session (that would take too long to write out), but the most significant part is covered here.

[Transcript]

 **[saKhan Aletha Kabrinski]:** It seems that Star Captain Bekker wishes to speak once again. What say you, Star Captain?

 **[Me]:** Thank you, my Khan. Warriors of the Council, I believe that we have strayed off-topic. In light of recent events on Outreach and Luthien, I wish for the Council to reasess the situation and decide on a clear course of action for our Clan.

 **[Star Colonel Bart Gurdel of Alpha Galaxy]:** And I wish that the Star Captain minds his place. Khan Jorgensson has already made his thoughts on the matter clear. The nuclear attack on Outreach last October, while indeed shocking, is not an immediate concern for Clan Ghost Bear. Nor is the Black Dragon Society coup on Luthien earlier this week!

[murmuring]

 **[Me]:** I concur that the coup on Luthien is largely Theodore Kurita's concern. But is it only his? Relations with House Kurita have reached a plateau. Suppose we did Theodore a considerable favor -

 **[Star Colonel Gurdel]:** It is not your place to make a call to action against an enemy who is not even ours!

 **[Khan Jorgensson]:** Star Captain Bekker, you would do well to contain your outbursts.

 **[Me]:** Aff, my Khan. I maintain, however, that owing House Kurita a large favor could be a potential trump card in the growing conflicts all around us. The Word of Blake has proven itself dangerous in ways we could not have predicted.

 **[Star Colonel Anya Tseng of Delta Galaxy]:** This is a ridiculous tangeant, Star Captain Bekker. Perhaps you wish for a chance to have your Beta Galaxy thrown at every convenient conflict to reap more glory, quiaff?

 **[Star Colonel Gurdel]:** Beta Galaxy has always proven itself rather eager to attempt to outperform Alpha.

[jeering from Alpha Galaxy commanders]

 **[Galaxy Commander Laurie Tseng]:** Enough! As Loremaster, I will not allow this petty bickering to continue. Star Captain Michael Bekker, you must state your clear intentions before the Council. And should you find no substantial support here in the Council, you may potentially face a Trial of Grievance for your continued disruptions.

 **[Me]:** Understood, Galaxy Commander. Warriors of the Council, while I always advocate Beta Galaxy's strength and prestige, I speak in the interest of all of Clan Ghost Bear. The Draconis Combine faces serious problems the likes of which we have hardly seen before. In this hostile environment, perhaps the Word of Blake will soon prey on the fractured House Kurita, and the Word has already established itself, in some areas, as anti-Clan. Even House Steiner has suffered, at their capital of Tharkad. I am concerned that the Word will only gain momentum from here, and that a wounded Draconis Combine will present an exposed flank to our Clan. Force must be met with force, and all potential allies are a resource.

 **[Star Colonel Anya Tseng]:** You cannot know the future, Star Captain Bekker. None of us can. Who can say for certain that the samurai of House Kurita cannot repel the Word of Blake vermin?

 **[Me]:** I maintain that these are not ordinary circumstances. Our Clan may soon find itself drawn into this chaotic affair, and I, for one, would not have us on the defensive, caught unawares.

 **[Laurie Tseng]:** The Star Captain has made his position clear. Are there those who support him?

 **[Star Colonel Gurdel]:** I find the Star Captain's predictions flimsy and vague at best. The Council would do best to disregard -

 **[Star Colonel Vreena Jorgensson]:** I, commander of the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster, vouch for Star Captain Bekker's assertions. I, too, can feel many hostile forces prowling through known space. The Successor States, and the smaller nations and organizations that exist between and among them, have often proven themselves greedy, self-centered, honorless, and prone to underhanded tactics and villainy to reach their ends. The Word of Blake is different only that they resort to the appalling crime of nuclear force! Who are we to wait for such a foe to reach our doorstep on its own terms? Many see our Clan as passive, even irrelevant. Let us show the scum of the Inner Sphere that we do not suffer violent fools.

[murmuring and chatter]

 **[Star Colonel Anya Tseng]:** Star Colonel Jorgensson, I am shocked that you would indulge Star Captain Bekker's reckless call to action. We risk much by mobilizing our forces against phantoms. Suppose Clan Wolf were to pounce on our exposed flank? Suppose more vengeful DCMS units in the vein of the Alshain Avengers were to strike at our worlds? Or even a large mercenary force, mustered by the Free Rasalhague Republic?

 **[Star Colonel Gurdel]:** I concur. Star Captain Bekker is noted for his passionate interest in our Clan's well-being. But this unwarranted aggression that he suggests is not the way. We do not thrash at every hint of danger. We wait. We allow events to unfold and, if the Word of Blake truly wishes us harm, we shall make our move.

[more muttering]

 **[Khan Jorgensson]:** The arguments of both sides have been made clear. Warriors of the Council, you have five minutes to register your votes on this question: is our Clan to mobilize itself right away to counter the Word of Blake and assist the Draconis Combine?

[quiet as everyone votes]

 **[Khan Jorgensson]:** The votes have been tallied, Warriors. There are 91 "aye" votes, 184 "nay" votes, and 22 absention votes. Star Captain Bekker's motion is denied. Star Captain, do you wish to issue a Trial of Refusal of this result?

 **[Me]:** Neg, my Khan. The odds of that would be roughly two to one, and I do not wish to challenge those odds. Further, it is clear that the will of our Clan is to wait and allow events to play themselves out. I will not further challenge Clan Ghost Bear's will.

 **[Khan Jorgensson]:** I see, and your grace in defeat is appreciated.

 **[Me]:** Thank you, my Khan.

[Transcript ends]

After this meeting, journal, Vreena approached me and confided that she still passionately supports my view, and that if the Clan Council decides to take action anytime soon, she will smugly point out my prescience. I thanked her earnestly for that. I owe her much.

I should also note that neither Star Colonel Bart Gurdel, nor Star Colonel Anya Tseng, saw fit to challenge me to a Trial of Grievance. Either they hold me in contempt, or believe that my acceptance of the vote is proof enough that I do not need further convincing of their viewpoint. Either way, I shall also wait and see what is to come. But I fear that our Clan's peaceful times may soon run dry.

I can write no more for today, journal. I will write again soon.


	38. Chapter 38

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,249: May 5th, 3068**

This evening has proven to be a memorable one, journal. Not for action on the battlefield, but for my first-ever attendance of the Alshain Annual Charity Ball.

What exactly is that? Until this year, I was hardly even aware, or interested. I immersed myself in local politics and military preparedness, not... this civilian event. But this year, in light of the Inner Sphere's great troubles, I chose to join, along with Star Colonel Vreena Jorgensson, and when Candace mentioned her curiosity, I invited her, too.

We were certainly not prepared!

We made the trip to Silverdale, the capital, in private ground cars. Once we neared the city hall, however, some of the officials in attendance (I forget their names) recommended that we try civilian-style outfits, as opposed to the dress uniforms that we wore. At first, Candace hotly objected, accusing the freeborns of mocking us, or attempting to lure us into a trap to embarrass us. The Star Colonel calmed her down, and we were led to a tailor.

A tailor! Rarely do I meddle with the laborer caste, whether back at the Homeworlds or here in the Dominion, and I admit, I was nevous. What exactly was I getting myself into? But muy fears were laid to rest when the tailor, Aleksei Nakamura, did his work. Such precision and expertise he had, and passion for his work! Within the hour, the three of us returned to the city hall, and we joined the event.

Oh. I should explain this, quiaff? Every year, here at city hall, many business leaders, private entrepreneurs, successful traders, famous artists, and other high-ranking laborers, merchants, and scientists gather to, well, have a large, formal party, and at the same time, donate large sums of money to impoverished communities, rebuild civilian infrastructure, and even donate to the DCMS. (The Khans closely monitor all funds sent to the DCMS, of course.) I cannot go into the fine details of how this all works, but I believe I undertand the essentials, as they were explained to me.

How interesting. I am more accustomed to the socialistic, pragmatic way of the Clans, first on the Homeworlds, and now here in the occupation zones. I find the disparity of wealth bizarre and perplexing. I am no expert on Inner Sphere economics or banking, but often, a small, elite class holds a disproportionate hold of wealth and power, like the top layer of a pyramid. There is a fair amount of waste involved in all layers of the Inner Sphere pyramid, it seems, and there is a lot inefficiency, and many people go without having everything they need. But that is not entirely my concern.

The mayor of Silverdale was one of several social centerpieces at the charity ball, alongside his wife, Kimiko Scott, and their adult son, Takei. I also met a powerful banker named Anja Korsekov, who, having immigrated from the Pesht Military District, quickly made a name for herself, often making use of events such as this one to enhance her image among the laborers and merchants of the Kuritan masses, and other charitable acts. Apparently she has found great success in this! I asked her to explain further, but what she told me was very technically proficient, and I admit that I only pretended to fully understand. Being a sharp woman, she probably saw right through my facade. No matter. Though it was still an odd feeling for a merchant (I believe) to have such control over the conversation.

It was no secret that the Star Colonel, Candace, and I represented the Clan Ghost Bear armed forces stationed here on Alshain, but to my satisfaction, nearly all attendees took our presence, and our nature, in stride. Perhaps our authentic civilian clothing enhanced our standing there. I felt only mentally uncomfortable in the dark blue suit and red tie that the tailor shrouded me in, because on a material level, I have never worn anything more... delightful, really. Like a second skin. I may have even attracted the approving eyes of a few ladies there, despite my unkempt hair and facial scars. And, of course, the "haughty, alien pride" on my face, as one business CEO's adult daughter, Michika, described it. She seemed a bit wary around me, but not frightened. She was face-to-face with one of many MechWarriors who had conquered this slice of the Draconis Combine. And she did not flee.

On a similar note, I must say that both Candace and Vreena drew even more attention than I did. I have the impression that at events such as this, women are meant to gather more interest and attention, given civilian gender dynamics and women's emphasis on showmanship (that may not be the best word. No matter). Both the Star Colonel and Candace opted for what is called an evening gown, with some variation in style. Vreena wore a silver outfit that emphasized her bust, her hair done up in a knot. Candace wore a red piece that bared her shoulders, and she admitted to me that at first, she felt exposed. Within the hour, however, she seemed to enjoy the attention, and more than once, she dived deep into conversations that turned into arguments or name-calling.

Her temper has certainly never faltered, not even after years in the Inner Sphere, and some differences shall never be overcome. Star Colonel Vreena threatened her with a Trial of Grievance back at the barracks if Candace did not stop quarreling with a mining executive who made a mild-mannered joke about our Clan. I do not remember the words to the joke, but Candace had seized the businesswoman's neck and threatened her in colorful terms until Vreena restrained her. Fortunately, the mayor convinced the security staff to allow us to stay, given we made no more outbursts.

I have no real money to offer to the charity, nor did the Star Colonel or Candace. No one was upset by this; the three of us attended more as ambassadors of the Clan's touman than proper donors. And here is the truly amusing part; while a small live symphony played (I do not know the titles of their songs), the men and women gathered in a large open space, the "dance floor", and performed several types of dance. Some were more exotic to me than others, but at the mayor's wife's suggestion, I escorted Candace to the dance floor, found an open place to maneuver, and there, we did our best to imitate the "Waltz" dance everyone was doing.

I am not ashamed to admit that we stumbled several times, and our elbows interfered in the personal space of other dancers. But how exhiliarating it was! I was afraid to look the fool, but Candace and I figured out how to perform the Waltz, and for a time, we were merely two attendees to the charity ball, nothing more. It was humbling, and gave me a peace of mind that I did not realize I needed. Candace felt much the same way, she later confided in me. Star Colonel Vreena did not partake, but she did approve of Candace's and my integration with the rich and powerful of Alshain. She is certain that our Clan's image will only be enhanced by this.

Now, back at the barracks, as I write this, I find my mind wandering back to Clan affairs once again, not the least of which will be a Council meeting tomorrow to determine whether or not the 73rd Battle Cluster's probing maneuvers in House Kurita space will draw unwanted attention, and whether or not the Star Colonel in command is to be reprimanded and his Cluster relocated. Not for the first time, my Clan's relationship with the Word of Blake is strained, given the Word's clear anti-Clan sentiment, and given how far the flames of this "Jihad" war have already spread. I have maintained my silence in the Council regarding my views on the matter, but once again, I feel that time is running out, and when it does, the universe will not be kind to Clan Ghost Bear.

I must stop there for today, journal. I am weary and need to rest now. I will write next week.


	39. Chapter 39

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **A/N:** Starting at this point, the story is a bit more in AU territory.

 **Entry 1,276: October 20th, 3068**

I am broken. The 32nd Bears Assault Cluster is broken.

And I am alive.

I am here on Kazu-wen, one of the smaller border words between the Ghost Bear Dominion and the Draconis Combine. I write in you, journal, while under the care of a Shinto priest who took pity on me. I owe him my life.

I am sorry. This entry is disjointed and confusing. So have the last few months been the same. I should stop here; I am still injured, and fatigued. I will write again tomorrow.

 **Entry 1,277: October 21st, 3068**

I have mustered all my will to sit upright at this low table in the priest's temple/home to write a more thorough entry today. I must let these events be known.

Up until now, I had heard rumors in the Ghost Bear council that the foul Word of Blake has launched a covert, widespread operation, which we have dubbed Operation: SERPENT. This is by no means a reference to Clan Steel Viper, but rather, refers to the secretive and deadly nature of it. The Word is vehemently anti-Clan, and the other Ghost Bear councilors and I believe that the Word is attempting to undermine the border defenses of Clans Ghost Bear, Wolf, and Jade Falcon. Not even the Diamond Sharks or the Nova Cats are exempt from these maneuvers. And there is a horrible possibility that Word agents are infiltrating the Clan capitals and other major Clan worlds to turn us against ourselves.

What I can say for certain is that this planet, this innocuous world of Kazu-wen, has already fallen to the Word of Blake, as have other worlds and moons at the borders of the occupation zones. Star Colonel Jorgensson had volunteered the 32nd to garrison this world against an expected Word of Blake assault alongside a garrison Cluster and assorted Binaries and Trinaries that the touman could spare. Freebirth! Even that was not enough. In my last few entries, I wrote of my certainty that we could repel the Word's future assaults. Not so. We fought well, but the Word must have had clear and up-to-date intel on our defenses and devised a cunning counter to our formations. We took many Word of Blake lives, and destroyed many of those strange "Celestial" 'Mechs. But this world now flies the Word's flag.

I can still recall the flames of battle, and the confused shouting on the general comm. Star Colonel Jorgensson had stood defiantly in her _Kodiak_ , and when she felled an enemy officer in his _Seraph_ 'Mech, it had seemed that the tide had turned. Not so. The remaining Word forces struck back with fiery vengeance, and the Ghost Bear forces found themselves scattered, then crushed.

It is only by the grace of Jorgennson and Tseng that I survived, and it is possible that a few other of my fellows had escaped with their lives as well. But most of us fell where we stood. Star Colonel Jorgensson was definitely slain in battle when a Level II unit converged on her battle-worn _Kodiak_ , and Thonn and Candace are also among the dead.

By the Founder! My mind is still reeling. Candace was my sibkin, my most treasured companion. Under Arcadia's sun, we trained to join the great touman, and together, we explored the Inner Sphere in flame and conquest. And we learned the ways of the Draconis Combine and the Rasalhagians, and helped contribute to our great Clan's new life here. And now, she is ash, as is the whole Cluster. Little remains of her, or anything else.

I was lucky when I ejected from my _Stormcrow_ and escaped the battle. Stravag! I was helpless in that state, though it pained me greatly to separate myself from them. We are a unit, a family. Who am I to leave them? However, my personal account of the battle, and the words I write here, can be of use to my Clan' council, and better allow us to deal with the Word of Blake.

I can write no more today. I must rest.

 **Entry 1,278: October 26th, 3068**

I have not described my current quarters, quineg? Journal, I find myself in a rural district of Kazu-wen, in an almost idyllic town. My ejection seat's thrusters had taken me far from battle, and even with my wounds, I had traveled far until some laborers on the road found me. I explained who and what I was, and in gratitude for my service against the Word (and perhaps for other reasons I will never understand) they drove me here to this town. The priest of this temple and his wife and family run an informal clinic, and I am among the wounded they have aided.

Who is this savior of mine? He only gave me his first name, Taneki, and that of his wife, Hana. They are quite elderly, both in their mid-60s! I often forget how long the lives of those in the lower castes may become. This temple can only be described as rustic, with its wooden frame, the gardens and ponds outside and the bamboo fountain, the tatami mats, sliding doors, and more. I am not new to these features, but I have always dismissed them. Now, they are a part of my recovery, and I have an appreciation for them, somehow.

My Swedish is better than my Japanese, and Taneki was gracious enough to converse with me in Swedish once he determined that I was misusing far too many Japanese words (more study is needed, clearly). Taneki explained that he will aid anyone who needs it, and that includes me. He was mildly curious of me, having never met a Warrior of the Clans before. He noted my lack of full-body tattoos or other ornamentation, but did note the many scars on my face and said that the universe had caressed me in some ways and raked its talons upon me in others. I took that at face value.

The other patients, mainly foot soldiers or other support personnel who fought in the battle, were more wary of me, and often refused to meet my eyes or speak to me. Even though I now wear local robes and I have bathed, they still do not see me as one of them, just a stranger who follows strange ways. I recall a passage of _The Remembrance_ , passage 12, verse 36, that generally covers the topic of hospitality. I remember a few lines of it:

 _Remember the family in the Antarctic snows,_

 _the ghost bears that welcomed Jorgensson and Tseng_

 _as one of their own._

 _The sharing of the spirit, and of meat from the kill_

 _And all such shared wealth make oneself strong_

 _And others strong as well._

 _Visit kindness on your kin who stumble, weak and weary,_

 _Into your den,_

 _And they shall repay you,_

 _For they have become one of you._

I remember this verse quite clearly, and I am grateful for priest Taneki's adherance to its general tenants. When the time comes, and I am stronger and ready for travel, I plan to discreetly make my way to the nearest spaceport and fly back to better-fortified Dominion worlds. From there, I shall find my way to friendly territory and resume my place in the touman. I am also aware that Vreena Jorgennson's rank is now vacant, as is those of the Star Commanders and Star Captains who perished against the Word of Blake surats here on Kazu-wen. I am curious to see how the touman will address this.

One last note, on a more trivial topic: I have learned the hard way _not_ to consume a large quantity of a certain, flavorful edible paste that the civilians here eat. How it burned! This "wasabi" paste is not to my liking.

I shall write again, one day, when I have rejoined the Ghost Bear touman and prepared myself to fight against the Word of Blake again.


	40. Chapter 40

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,281: November 15th, 3068**

At last, my message from the HPG uplink on Kazu-Wen resulted in my retrieval from that fallen world, and once I was driven to the DropShip's landing pad and reunited with the _Ursa Major_ , that great WarShip brought me, along with many other Warriors, back to Alshain. So dire was my situation that I resorted to various codes and hidden meanings in my HPG message so the Word of Blake could not identify who I was or who I had sent the message to. But now, I am where I belong most of all.

Such relief to be back here! But it is with a heavy heart that I return. I cannot stop seeing the faces of my old Starmates and other companions from among the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster. Candace, Thonn, Vreena Jorgensson... all of them are now in the void. However, Carly GhostBear's incredible survival is giving me hope, and in the wake of the loss of our comrades, she told me that she feels herself drawn closer to me as an officer and companion, and I am grateful for that. Though born to the despicable Jade Falcons, in the House of Roshak, Carly proves that she has learned the way of the Bears.

This, in part, inspired what I have decided next: I must rebuild the 32nd, no matter what. A symbol of our great Clan's endurance and defiance against our enemies.

First, however, I had to rejoin the Ghost Bear Council, and there, earlier this afternoon, some members of the Council gently suggested that I retire from active duty and instead devote myself more fully to the Council and to international relations, as well as training new sibkos here on Alshain. I admit, I am curious to see how effectively I could train Ghost Bear cadets! I remember my instructors back on Arcadia. By the Founder, that feels a lifetime ago. But I remember one instructor, a certain Linda Snuka, who always had an edge of regret about her, a longing... no doubt to return to the front lines to fight against my Clan's enemies. Had she decided to convert herself into an instructor, only to realize that the call of battle could not be shut out?

At any rate, I made my case: I am not yet ready to retire to political or instructor work yet, despite my 40 years of age. An unblooded Warrior would no doubt have joined a provisional garrison Cluster or become an instructor. But I? Not now, not like this. I repeated the same sentiment as above: that a reborn 32nd Bears Assault Cluster would serve as an example of our Clan's tenacity and strength of spirit. Some in the Council expressed doubt that the manpower could be spared, or that Warriors from different units would behave cohesively enough. I argued that using our Clan's tradition of transferring Warriors at the Star, Binary, or Trinary level together would be effective enough, even in these trying times. In the end, the matter was put to a vote, with a small but solid margin in my favor. No one called for a Trial of Refusal, so the plan is going forth.

But first... who will command the reborn 32nd?

To that end, journal, I nominated myself for a Trial of Position for command of the new 32nd Assault Cluster, and four more Star Captains have been nominated for the same. Star Colonel Vreena Jorgensson is no longer here to support me, but she had friends here in the Council, and by now, they have become my friends as well. They warmly supported my self-nomination for the Trial of Position, and now, the Trials are set to begin early next week. After that, the Council discussed several other, unrelated topics, and was adjourned.

I cannot overstate my mixed feelings. For so long I have dreamed of a Cluster command! I could command an impressive 75 Points if the Cluster was at full size that regulation allows... but I would build it on the ashes and graves of the unit I had served in for so long. I first set foot in the Inner Sphere in the 32nd, marveling at the beauty and bounty of these worlds. I survived Tukayyid in the 32nd. I fought Clan Smoke Jaguar and the DCMS in that unit. And now, I would start fresh. The implications are many and heavy, I admit. It is not an easy thing to get used to.

Carly, at least, promised to be a loyal member of the upcoming Cluster, and I may nominate her for a Trial of Position for a Star command. She has proven herself, at least, and I am used to her presence on the battlefield. We shall see what fate decides!

I am done writing for now. My mind is heavy with thoughts. I must rest.

 **Entry 1,282: November 20th, 3068**

Welcome again, journal! I am in the highest of spirits on this day. I have completed the Trial of Position, competing against Star Captain Rose Hall from Alpha Galaxy, Star Captain Welmar Bekker from Delta, and more. They were all fine Warriors indeed... but they did not win the position.

I am Star Colonel Michael Bekker.

My new Star Colonel insignia fits well onto my uniform, and I wear it with humble pride. Carly, too, complimented the look, calling it "sharp". I could see an excited gleam in her eyes, like the glint in a falcon's eyes, as she spoke. I admit, when she is excited, I can still see her Jade Falcon roots in her. But that is well beside the point.

I can say little else today, journal, except that the Word of Blake continues to spread its flames of war across the Inner Sphere, and it is into a chaotic, fractured universe that I will lead my new Cluster. My Cluster! I can hardly believe the words even as I write them in here. I remember the days in the 3050s of following Star Colonel Ivan DelVillar, how unshakable and wise he was. Now I must marshal every bit of my cunning and strength to live up to what he did every day.

Also, I was offered a chance to rename my unit. I toyed with a few ideas: the 33rd Bears Assault Cluster, the 1st Bears Avengers Cluster, the Bears Revenants... but no. I must keep the name. In times like these, I could use a few constants to keep myself grounded. Now the interesting part will soon begin: who to bring into my Cluster, and how to compose it? I have given this some thought already: perhaps three OmniMech Trinaries, one Binary of Elementals, and one Binary of Aerospace fighters. I would ask for Trinaries of the latter two, but the touman is being taxed as it is. I can easily make use of a Binary of support forces. I will continue to use the same DropShips as before, a handful of _Union-C_ vessels.

There is little else to write today; many details are still yet to be determined. I am optimistic, however; what else can I do? I must have strength of spirit, going forth. I owe that to my fallen comrades. Candace, Ursina, Vreena, Thonn... let your strength be mine.

I will stop there for today.


	41. Chapter 41

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,285: December 12th, 3068**

Greetings again, journal. The year is nearly at a close, but my monumental task is only beginning. Stravag! I have been nursing a pretty tough headache for the past week, off and on, and I suspect that the worst is to come. The noble rank of Star Colonel has many more burdens than that of Star Captain, I must say. I am responsible for nearly five times as many Warriors, and controlling an entire Cluster, a complete unit, is a challenge like no other.

I get ahead of myself. My Cluster is far from complete, or even functional!

I do relish the challenge, however. My heart is heavy with grief from my many comrades' passing, and the end of an era for the original 32nd Bears Assault Cluster, but I will not allow that to quench my spirit! I was trained for better than that. Indeed, assembling a brand-new unit like this allows me to explore options and utilize resources of my Clan I could only dream of before this. Building up this unit is aleady underway, and I have tentative hope for this project, even if certain... obstacles... remain.

How can I even begin to describe this? Let me first say that I hastily nominated Carly GhostBear for a long-desired Trial of Position. She was very nearly demoted to a solahma unit, being an unblooded abtakha warrior, but I am boundlessly proud and glad to report that she passed her Trial... with the rank of Star Captain! Remarkable! It would seem that the house of Roshak has fine genes, even if Carly's potential waited until later in her career. She is ever the wild one, and I cannot fully erase her Jade Falcon heritage, even if I wanted to. But she has grown into a trusted companion, a Ghost Bear when it matters most. She will command a 'Mech Trinary for sure, as soon as I build one for her.

However, keeping my Clan's defenses prepared against potential attacks from the neighboring Clan Wolf, Draconis Combine, and most of all the Word of Blake limits my options. Many billions of Kerenskys are tied into funding those defenses, but after I fiercely made my case in several Clan Council sessions, I convinced Khans Jorgensson and Kabrinski to allocate enough Kerenskys to my cause. Already, some 'Mech and aerospace hangars here on Alshain have been set aside for my use, complete with support staff and supplies such as repair kits, spare parts, footstuffs, up-to-date communication systems, and much more.

But proper, front-line Warriors are what I need the most! Where to get them? As per Clan Ghost Bear tradition, I am looking for cohesive, pre-built Stars, Binaries, or Trinaries of every Warrior type to bring in. How can I break away individuals from their other units and force them together? I cannot ask that of them! I have made some progress, however. My Elemental Binary is partly complete: I have recruited three full Points of Elementals, all of whom are in perfect health, their suits in top condition. These fifteen Warriors carried out exercises under my supervision in scenarios such as infiltration, raiding, hunting runaway targets, and navigating difficult terrain and weather. The results are promising, and the Elementals told me in person that so far, their incomplete Star is nearly perfectly cohesive. Once I acquire seven more Points, I shall have my Binary!

The rest of my future Cluster has more ground to cover, I must admit. I have only gathered two Points of aerospace fighters, four total aircraft. I have eight more Points to complete that particular Binary, and given the trouble I went through to get those two Points, I may end up completing this Binary long after I finish building the rest of the 32nd. My Clan's naval force has always been modest for a Clan of our strength; we are a far cry from our friends, the Snow Ravens! I hope to reach out to the Snow Ravens as a part of my Clan's overall attempt to ask that Clan for military assistance. I can say little more for now; I will certainly write again if and when Clan Snow Raven can trade aerospace fighters to Ghost Bear units such as mine in exchange for other war assets or materials.

As for the 'Mechs, I am making slow but surer progress than my aerospace Binary. Creating three Trinaries will require forty-five Warriors, but given the plethora of MechWarriors in the touman, I am optimistic about this. Already, I have company: I recruited a Star of MechWarriors from Delta Galaxy, all of whom pilot medium and heavy 'Mechs. The Star Commander, Anton Tseng, confided in me that he is eager to take part in this project and in fact talked his Galaxy Commander into allowing this. Such loyalty and faith in me! I am honored, and I made Star Commander Tseng quite aware of this. He pilots a _Hellbringer_ prime, a fine machine, and his Starmates pilot two _Stormcrow_ primes, a _Nova_ , and a _Mad Dog._ Impressive firepower! Tomorrow, I shall test them against dummy targets, and I cannot overstate my anticipation. I had to delay their live-fire exercises because their 'Mechs came from several jumps away and the shipment was delayed. But the Warriors were close at hand, and they now reside in my home base.

I have a list of more potential Warriors for my Cluster, and when I have more to report, journal, I shall surely write!

Until next time.

 **Entry 1,287: December 29th, 3068**

Journal, I am making quick progress, although some factors are slowing me down. I will be brief in explaining myself.

Star Commander Anton Tseng's group did well in the live-fire exercises; very well, in fact! I felt a thrill as I watched them fight. Anton Tseng is only 25 years old, and I am starting to feel my age when I watch him lead his Star in combat with grace and ferocity worthy of our totem animal. I am forty years of age; only my rank and Bloodname keep me in the touman. I must say again that I am _not_ prepared to retire to train sibkos!

I have recruited another Elemental Point, giving me nearly a full Star. However, no new aerospace fighters; my Clan is making slow headway with Clan Snow Raven, and our own aerospace assets are still limited. As I predicted, my aerospace Binary lags behind the rest of my Cluster.

On a positive note, I have completed a full OmniMech Trinary! It is a relief to have a complete unit of this size ready and operational in my Cluster so soon. Star Commander Ellen Bekker has joined us from a battle-damaged Trinary in Alpha Galaxy, and although she is aloof and stern, she commands her men well, and she quietly and calmly accepted Star Captain Carly GhostBear's command of this new Trinary. She pilots a _Mad Dog_ prime. I should also note that I found four MechWarriors, who knew each other fairly well from elsewhere in Beta Galaxy, to form Carly's own Star. Now, that Trinary is complete, and given its mix of medium to heavy 'Mechs, it shall be the middle-weight Trinary of my Cluster. I shall have need of a lighter Trinary for harassment, scouting, and Elemental transportation, as well as a heavier Trinary of heavy and assault 'Mechs to provide muscle. Creating these more specialized units shall be tricky work, but certainly worth it.

Now, I have Star Captain Carly leading Star Commanders Anton Tseng and Ellen Bekker in live-fire exercises against dummy targets, as well as volunteers from the rest of Beta Galaxy. Of course, everyone is fighting with powered-down weapons, and they have strict orders to eject at the slightest hint of mortal danger. We do not fear death, but I will not have my Warriors killed off before the Cluster is even finished! For now, the live-fire exercises are proceeding on schedule.

However, my list of dossiers for my other two Trinaries is frustratingly short. Most light 'Mech pilots are busy scouting the perimeters of the Ghost Bear Dominion in front-line units, and the heaviest 'Mechs in our touman are tied up fighting off Word of Blake raids and making a show of strength against Clan Wolf. Convincing the Galaxy Commanders and Star Colonels to part with these 'Mechs shall be a real test of my leadership skills and cunning. I will not back down from this challenge, but I confess, I fear that my burgeoning Cluster may find itself in battle before I can collect all these assets. By the grace of the Founder, I fervently hope that my Warriors are not crushed so early in my Cluster's existence. It is a risk I have no choice but to accept.

I will finish there for today, journal. As I said in my earlier entries, this is exhausting work, and I must rest. I shall write again soon.


	42. Chapter 42

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,289: January 14th, 3069**

Quite the update for this week, journal. As the new year dawns, I have once again expanded the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster, but this time, not merely through bargaining and talent scouting. Rather, I put my Warrior skills to the test!

How did this come about? I finally located a Trinary of heavy and assaut 'Mechs, from a Cluster in Delta Galaxy that suffered some losses from fighting the Word of Blake as well as fending off Clan Wolf raids. But there was a complication: a battle-weary Cluster from Alpha Galaxy also coveted this powerful Cluster, and the other Star Colonel, Alistair Jorgensson, proposed that he and I duel for ownership of the Cluster in question.

I accepted at once, as one would expect. Who am I to refuse such a challenge, and for such a prize? Our Trial of Possession was well bargained and done, and I met Star Colonel Jorgensson on a plain twenty kilometers outside Silverdale's city limits. I had yet another chance to test myself in this new 'Mech of mine, my _Warhawk_ -C. This variant has proven more suitable to my tastes than the prime version. Clan Smoke Jaguar's reckless bloodthirst is apparent in the prime configuration, and I cannot get used to the incredible heat generated from four ER PPCs. I enjoy the two large pulse lasers that replace two of those ER PPCs. I have already named this 'Mech _Ursa Avenger_ , a mark of my pride and thirst for vengeance against the Word of Blake, and all of Clan Ghost Bear's enemies. Similarly, I have given it a mottled white and gray paint job, with a ghost bear's visage painted on the cowl.

I apologize; I got off track. I am certainly fond of the _Ursa Avenger_ , though, and relish any chance to describe it. Now. The duel. Star Colonel Jorgensson faced me in a _Marauder IIC_ , a mighty machine modeled after the famous Star League heavy 'mech. What a monster it is! And in the Star Colonel's hands, it was a whirlwind of hot metal and fury. I admit that twice in the battle, I was almost certain that Star Colonel Jorgensson was going to win the day. But he did not; I paced myself and whittled down his armor with my own ER PPC fire, while enduring the firestorm of his own shots. Finally, I lured him into closer range and made use of my lasers to land a precise blow to his engine, breaching vital components. Once that happened, the _Marauder IIC_ was bleeding so much heat, Star Colonel Jorgensson had no choice but to shut it down and surrender.

Such a victory! It was hard-won, and the _Ursa Avenger_ will spend quite some time in the 'Mech bay as the Technicians work on it. In the meantime, however, Star Colonel Jorgensson gracefully and humbly withdrew his official request for the heavy Trinary, and I, as the Trial's winner, placed it into my Cluster.

I have brought three excellent commanders into my Cluster in the process. Star Captain Jeremy Gurdel pilots a _Warhawk_ as I do, except that he uses the A variant, which gives him great flexibility on the battlefield. He is of a calm and patient disposition, and he integrated into my command with no interpersonal or professional friction at all. He assures me, however, that when a battle is joined, he releases his bear-worthy rage and will not stop until all opponents are slain. He reminds me of my first commander, Star Colonel Ivan DelVillar. I expect that Ivan is now deceased.

Under Jeremy Gurdel are both Star Commander Drenn, who pilots a _Kodiak_ prime, and Star Commander Natalie, who commands a _Warhammer IIC_ in battle. Natalie is a quiet woman, even timid or shy, not unlike the deceased Ursina from the old 32nd. She hardly even makes eye contact, but when she did speak, she firmly promised her loyalty to me, and to what my Cluster represents. Meanwhile, Drenn is a boastful fellow who is quick to challenge any skeptics to Trials of Grievance, not unlike Thonn from my old Cluster. Hmmmmmmm... this is making me think: will I always see my old Starmates in these new officers? Should I even do that? Perhaps not. My new Cluster honors the old one, and shall avenge it, but being trapped in the past can lead to complacency, or even insanity. I cannot allow this. My old Starmates are now one with the universe... and these new Warriors before me warrant my full attention.

Now, I have two OmniMech Trinaries, with the scout/harassment Trinary still missing. To be precise, Star Commander Drenn's _Warhammer IIC_ is really a conventional BattleMech, albeit a powerful one, so the assault Cluster is not quite 100% composed of Omnimechs. No matter. The _Warhammer IIC_ , when piloted by Star Commander Drenn, fights nearly as well as any Omni that I have piloted. That is enough for me.

And alas, I have not yet acquired any new aerospace assets. Freebirth! Negotiations with Clan Snow Raven are underway, but they have not yet borne fruit. The Snow Ravens are a cunning and patient lot, not unlike us, and it may take some tough bargaining to obtain enough aerospace assets from them. At the very least, I have my _Overlord_ -C DropShip, the _Arctic Paw_ , which can easily contain my entire Cluster, and will still have spare room even when my unit is completed. Ah, I am being ungrateful about Clan Snow Raven! The birds have been slow to provide any aerospace fighters to my Cluster or others in Clan Ghost Bear, but they have gifted us with DropShips in the past, including this one. Otherwise, I doubt that I would have been granted this _Overlord_ -C from the Khans.

I am confident that I shall soon obtain my missing pieces: a Star of Elementals, a Trinary of light and medium 'Mechs, and seven Points of aerospace fighters. It is hoped that by June or July, the Cluster will be complete. Let us see what the future brings!

Until next week, journal.

 **Entry 1,291: January 28th, 3069**

I admit, journal, that when Galaxy Commander Laurie Tseng offered to use my incomplete Cluster to lend aid to the 12th Bear Chevaliers in a pre-emptive raid against nearby Word of Blake forced, I had had mixed thoughts. The destruction of the original 32nd Bears Assault Cluster had been the first major loss against the Word, and perhaps it had shifted the Council's attitude about the ongoing Jihad and our Clan's role in it. I recall the later months of last year, when my Clan's conservative military doctrine minimized any chance to do battle against the Word. Is this the start of new times?

I digress. I cannot fully articulate all my confused thoughts about the "bigger picture", but I can write more clearly about yesterday's raid, certainly! Already, the Word of Blake has a wide frontline that presses close to the Ghost Bear Dominion, mainly established in the Benjamin Military District. From here, the Word sends endless raids, strikes, and covert ops against both my Clan and House Kurita, and even Clan Wolf is feeling the pressure to some extent. At last, the Khans have seen fit to awaken the slumbering bear and draw blood!

(Yes, I have already seen political cartoons and propaganda on the topic. A polar bear pokes a man in white Word of Blake robes with a single claw while Theodore Kurita cries "Finally!")

There are some in the Clan Council who still argue against any pre-emptive attacks, believing that the Word of Blake's anti-Clan sentiment will result in a disproportionate retaliatory strike. Khan Jorgensson and some high-ranking officers, however, countered that the Word has too many enemies in order to launch such a concentrated attack. I am inclined to agree; every Successor State, and other factions, are all hostile to the Word. There is no formal alliance to that effect, but all the same, I doubt that the Word will launch a major offensive against any of the Invader Clans.

On that note, the 32nd arrived on a Kuritan world called High Rock, alongside the 12th Bear Chevaliers. Thorough scouting missions had already confirmed the presence of a Level III unit of Word of Blake forces, and two Level II units. That makes for 48 total combined BattleMechs, vehicles, and infantry squads. An impressive force, but we of the Clans are only galvanized by the prospect of a good fight, as my Warriors and I are!

To the battle I committed the assault Trinary of my Cluster, led by my Star Captain Jeremy Gurdel, as well as the single Elemental Star that I currently possess, led by Star Captain Karlos DelVillar. These supplemented the Trinary of heavy 'Mechs that the Star Colonel of the 12th Bear Chevaliers offered for battle, as well as a Binary of Elementals and three Points of aerospace fighters. We marched to battle together, buoyed by confidence.

At first, the battle went as proceeded. Star Captain Jeremy Gurdel leaped into the fray, his _Warhawk-_ A making a bold charge while my Elementals hung onto the 'Mechs for transport. I watched all this from my DropShip, the _Arctic Paw_ , and Carly stood with me, eager to see us tear our enemies apart.

Our combined force certainly did have the Word of Blake forces on the defensive, and we pushed them back to their own waiting DropShips. We were in for a grim surprise, however: two Level II units of the Shadow Division appeared as though from thin air. Freebirth! I felt my insides go cold when I realized that the Manei Domini, those abominable cyborgs, had laid a trap. Either that, or they had very recently arrived here on High Rock, and our scouts had merely missed them. Either way, their arrival firmly turned the battle's tide, and now both Clusters were on the back foot.

Such a battle it was! I can remember every detail, every status report while I stood on that bridge. Star Captain Carly GhostBear insisted that I send in her Trinary to reinforce us, claiming that "honor be damned, we will not fight with one paw tied behind our backs!" I argued that surely, our current force could hold off the bolstered Word of Blake forces, but neither my assault Trinary nor the 12th Bear Chevaliers' current forces could claim victory in these conditions. I had to make a choice. I contacted the 12th's commanding officer and requested a chance to test my medium Trinary in combat, and he agreed. With great enthusiasm, Star Captain Carly mounted up in her _Nova_ prime and led her forces into battle.

If Star Captain Carly continues to perform as she did in the battle for High Rock, I will certainly have to nominate her for a Trial of Bloodright. Her Trinary bolstered our flagging defenses, and those Warriors fearlessly faced the monstrous Celestial 'Mechs on the rocky plains of battle. I have since memorized the technical readouts of those 'Mechs, such as the _Grigori_ and _Deva_. For now, I will say that the Celestial 'Mechs, while they did deal heavy damage, could not handle another Clan Trinary entering the battle. The enemy commander chose to cut his losses and withdrew to his DropShips.

I ordered my men to allow them to leave in peace; suppose another ambush awaited us? Either way, the Word forces boarded their vessels and fled the system. Right now, Clan Ghost Bear naval assets are scouring nearby space to confirm that those forces had actually retreated, and were not returning with reinforcements. It has only been 24 hours so far, but as of now, we control this space.

I must also say that eight 'Mechs in my Cluster were destroyed, fit only for salvage, and another six are in dire need of repair and refit. Within a few days, reinforcements shall arrive to provide relief and repairs, and in the meantime, the 12th and 32nd are warily guarding High Rock. This world is strategically viable for launching raids into Kuritan and Ghost Bear space; how hard will the Word fight to take it back?

Three of my MechWarriors were killed in the battle, with another five injured. Stravag! These losses are not crippling, but in my incomplete Cluster, they feel much worse. That is the risk, I take, however. The risk that we all take, and we will not flinch or back down. My main fortune was that none of my officers were killed, although Star Commander Anton Tseng of the assault Cluster suffered several broken bones and heavy bleeding. He shall survive, I am told. Good; he is a fine Warrior!

Now, I must finish today's entry. The new 32nd Bears Assault Cluster has seen combat for the first time since its formation. Next time we fight, may we once again find victory!


	43. Chapter 43

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **A/N:** The Blazing Aces mercenary gang, and its characters, are all property of fellow author **RougeBaron** , and used with permission.

 **Entry 1,304: April 10th, 3069**

The conquest to retake the planet Mendorza from the Word of Blake's foul grip in Kuritan space has taken an interesting turn. One that at first repulsed me, but given what has transpired here today, I find myself with new opinions on the matter. Not conclusive ones, but something to consider.

I shall clarify: the newly-completed 32nd Bears Assault Cluster will do battle with the Word of Blake alongside mercenaries.

Stravag! I had hoped that this day would never come. Lord-less warriors for hire, calling themselves our allies? Most mercenaries are little more than dirt-grubbing vermin in filthy 'Mechs and armored tanks, and this view has been vindicated time and time again in the eyes of every Invader Clan. A few, however, have earned a different reputation, such as the famed Kell Hounds. Now, I will fight alongside not the Hounds, but a smaller, and more colorful, unit: the Blazing Aces.

Who are they, journal? I myself had no idea what to expect until the Aces docked their DropShips onto the _Ursa Major_ and their officers met mine. Currently, their Dropships and mine, the _Arctic Paw_ , occupy most of the DropShip hardpoints. No matter; we are the only units who will engage the Word of Blake on Mendorza. It would seem that a local DCMS general operating in the Benjamin Military District hired the Blazing Aces for quite a sum of money, given how strained his own warriors are. I also recall that the Kuritans have a generally poor view of mercenaries, but these are desperate times, as the hiring of the Blazing Aces proves.

All my officers and I stood together in a half-circle, dress uniforms recently pressed and steamed for maximum presentation in the conference room where we stood. We had barely arrived when the Blazing Aces officers joined us, and my first impression was: they were awed, and perhaps intimidated, by the _Ursa Major_ 's sheer size and power, and by the large, high-quality Clan Ghost Bear banner hanging on two of the room's walls. And, of course, they were wary of _us_.

Who leads them? A commander in his mid-20s or so named Trystan Vandenburg, a warrior of slight build and vividly blond hair. He shook my hand with impressive strength, but I could see it in his eyes: his deep, inner hesitation. I made no comment on it, of course. And what is most interesting is that he inherited the position of leader from his mother and grandfather. What an idea! Based on my conversation with him today, he has endured much and eventually earned the office that he held. But to be designated the new leader based on freebirth lineages? I admit, journal, that my skin crawled at the very thought. The barbarians of the Inner Sphere continue to mock what the warrior caste is meant to be!

Of course, given the tragically war-torn Inner Sphere in which he was born, can I blame him? Perhaps not. He will never, however, rise to be my equal, or that of my officers. That bridge is impossible to gap.

On a more positive note, the rest of Trystan's officer corps proved a fascinating group. Trystan's twin sister, Caelia, is a petite young woman with a vivacious personality. I was off-put by her relaxed and cheery demeanor, and my own officers were tempted to believe that she mocked us, especially with her mercenary status. With a glance or two, I calmed them; she probably meant us no offense. This woman pilots a _Griffin_ as opposed to her brother's _Thunderbolt_ , and she commands the Blazing Aces' fire support lance. Aside from her was the buffoonish Ronan O'Reilly, a nearly unintelligible being who probably hails from the lowest, murkiest waters of the freeborn gene pool. Trystan assures me, however, that his skills in a scout 'Mech command great respect. I shall have to take his word on it; at face value, I would not even assign him to scrape caked mud off my _Warhawk_ 's feet.

Now, here is the biggest surprise that the mercenaries offered me: the commander of their infantry company, Osiris, was born in Clan Wolf! I could hardly believe it when he matter-of-factly told me that. He is a few years my junior, with dark skin, thick hair, and a true warrior's eyes. Only a trueborn could have that look, and not even scampering around with these mercenaries could dull that gleam. I can only imagine what sort of training he put his freeborn underlings through! He also boastfully told me of many martial arts and knife-fighting techniques that he has mastered, and I am almost certain that Carly GhostBear wishes to duel him. Her Jade Falcon blood no doubt screams for the spilling of his Wolf blood. Ha! What a duel that would be. But we are all only days out from our joint operation against the Word. There shall be no infighting.

I can say for sure that Inner Sphere military commands, and mercenary groups, have more peculiar and colorful individuals than Clan commands, and together, they make for a sort of cross-section of the Inner Sphere as a whole. I expect that few of my officer stood out to the Aces, with a few exceptions. The officers of both groups freely wandered the _Ursa Major_ after our tactical briefing together, and there were a few... incidents. Nothing disastrous! But that girl, Caelia Vandenburg, seems to have a penchant for raising a ruckus. She met with my aerospace commander, Star Captain Kelly Snuka, and offered to get drinks with her back on the Blazing Aces' command DropShip. The way Kelly tells it, Caelia took an instant liking to her, and vice versa, but Star Captain Snuka feared the potential effects of alcohol and stubbornly refused, even when Caelia hung onto the Star Captain's arm and attempted to drag her back to the Aces' DropShip! Star Captain Snuka told me that there were no hard feelings, though.

I, for one, spent the evening in the port observation deck, while I considered what to write in this journal for today. Trystan joined me and, after my spoken permission, sat next to me. For a time, he watched the stars and nebulae in silence. Then he asked if I hated him.

Why? I responded.

Because, he said, it must hurt my pride greatly to be told to work with such a unit.

Rather perceptive of him, I must say. Fighting with mercenaries grates on my nerves, indeed. But the Blazing Aces, at least, are not as crude, boastful, and insidious as some mercenary groups are, based on what I have heard. At least they are honest, loyal, and determined, qualities that many freeborns lack. Now, some freeborns have proven otherwise, such as the remarkable Khan Phelan of Clan Wolf-in-Exile, and the cunning and successful Victor Steiner-Davion. Trystan is hardly a big figure like those fellows are, but he may share some of those qualities with them. As I told him, I do not hate him. Though I anticipate that I will have to compensate for them on the battlefield against the Word. They use mediocre machines with mediocre operators; no doubt they will need the power of my Clan to destroy the Word forces on Menorza. Still... perhaps their unorthodox nature will allow them to take the Word by surprise and turn the tide? It is possible.

Trystan soon left me after hearing that I do not truly hate him or his fellows. I imagine that he considers that a great gain and will work hard to prove himself to me. I, too, shall ensure that the full strength of my complete Cluster is on display for all to see!

I will stop there today. The battle against the foul Word of Blake shall soon the joined, and given the mixed nature of my Cluster, the Word, and the Blazing Aces, anything could happen.

Kerensky help me.


	44. Chapter 44

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,306: April 29th, 3069**

In my entry last week, journal, I voiced tentative skepticism that the Blazing Aces mercenary group would be of any substantial use to me.

I am happy to report that I was in error.

The battle was joined, and is now concluded. Mendorza is in the DCMS's grateful hands, and Trystan Vandenburg of the Blazing Aces informed me that he received his due payment on time. No problems there.

How did the battle transpire? I feel that this particular clash will stick in my memory for years to come! The Word of Blake defenders on that world were many; two Level III units concentrated in the area around the capital city, a formidable force. To his credit, Trystan landed his forces planetside with no hesitation, and my own DropShip, the _Arctic Paw_ , landed about fifteen kilometers east of the Blazing Aces vessels. From there, I transmitted to Trystan the last-minute details of the plan we had concocted together.

At first, many of the Blazing Aces freeborns objected to their leader taking orders from me, especially given how my officers and I do not hide our disdain for the Blazing Aces' mercenary status. But being a capable leader, Trystan, and his sister Caelia, brought them into line, and the Blazing Aces raised no more complaints. I am sure that Star Captain Carly GhostBear would be first in line to issue Trials of Grievance if the complaints continued for much longer!

My full Cluster deployed in a defensive formation around the _Arctic Paw_ while the Blazing Aces proceeded with the battle's first step: harassment. Heavy losses were practically guaranteed if our two units engaged the Word of Blake defenders right away, so instead, Trystan led his companies (roughly similar to Trinaries) into hit-and-run attacks. They are well-suited to this task, given their familiarity with such tactics and their lack of honor. But they were fearless and clever, I must say. All three Blazing Aces companies fanned out and successfully lured clumps of Word of Blake forces apart, drawing them into separate zones. Oh, I should also note that Trystan made it seem as though this was truly just a raid, and not the precursor to my own attack. I must commend him for that; I noted the subtleties of his raids in the battle data he transmitted to me, and the Word of Blake forces seemed truly unaware that the 32nd was ready to pounce.

And how ready we were! By the glory of the Founder, it was a satisfying battle, even if there is no honor to be gained by fighting the filthy, freakish Word of Blake. This was not a proper battle of Clan versus Clan like in the Homeworlds; it was a matter of butchering our enemies to the maximum extent. And we did so!

The Blazing Aces inflicted light casualties on the Word of Blake forces, attacking their 'Mechs, infantry, tanks and aerospace fighters, and even the Word's supply convoys. Trystan's forces suffered minimal losses, due to their light-footed maneuvering and refusal to fully engage the enemy. No matter; I only need the Blazing Aces to scatter the enemy, not massacre them. That was MY job, and the very ground shook when the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster pounced on the enemy! We waited patiently for the perfect opportunity, and blood flowed freely when that opportunity arrived. We opened fire with the fury of the ghost bear's claws and fang, crushed the Word defenders under the might of our totem's spirit. The Word of Blake forces fought back to the best of their ability. It was not enough. My OmniMech Trinaries marched forth and rained down enough fire to choke the air with smoke and light the trees on fire!

We did suffer casualties, I must report, but nothing crippling. My Elemental Binary performed admirably, working in tandem with the Blazing Aces' infantry company to slaughter the Word's own infantry, and then nibble away at the Word's 'Mechs and armored vehicles. Star Captain Karlos DelVillar of my Elemental Binary led his men with a savage glee that I shall never forget. And similarly, Star Captain Kelly Snuka's aerospace forces rained death from the skies. Our Clan is not known for its aerial forces, but Star Captain Snuka certainly impressed me, even with the high expectations I had for her.

Only craters, burnt trees, and boiled riverbeds remained when my Cluster triumphed over the Word of Blake defenders. Nothing remained of the enemy, no bondsmen, no salvage, nothing at all. Freebirth! I would sooner jump into a sun than accept these Word of Blake psychopaths as my bondsmen. And to use their fallen machines for scrap? It would probably poison our 'Mechs and aerospace fighters! No, it is by Clan superiority alone that I shall have my victory over the Word of Blake.

During the battle, the Blazing Aces did what they could to aid me, but it is clear that they were terrified of my Cluster and stayed out of my way. Good; if my Warriors have a Blakist surat in their crosshairs, then they shall fire, regardless of whether a mercenary or two stands in the way! Fortunately for Trystan Vandenburg, the Blazing Aces suffered no casualties from my Cluster. Even if his underlings took fire from me, and if Trystan were to confront me, I would beat him down without hesitation. Trystan is useful and clever, though. I shall always remember he and his men did for me.

On a lighter note, Trystan and his fellow officers visited the capital city's lively downtown to celebrate their payment (a generous one, apparently) and a mission well done. In fact, several of my own Warriors, on a whim, joined them. With my permission, of course. It would seem that Star Captain Snuka finally accepted Caelia Vandenburg's offer for a drink, and both women learned to be friends, even if only for the night. Star Captain Snuka returned to the _Arctic Paw_ somewhat woozy from drink, but promised me that she would recover by morning. Fortunately, she did so; if she made a fool of herself on board my DropShip, she would meet me in a Circle of Equals for her foolishness.

While I am on this topic, Star Captain Carly GhostBear gleefully told me that she revealed her true heritage to Osiris, that infantry commander of the Blazing Aces. By the sound of it, Osiris had stood up from his bar stool and nearly attacked Carly, until the anger bled out of him and they both agreed to have a friendly rivalry instead. For the rest of the night, Carly told me, they challenged each other in every aspect, from games of darts to speed-drinking to arm wrestling to war story swapping. After all, both of them are far removed from the Clans of their birth; Osiris had somehow been separated from Clan Wolf and ended up fighting with the Blazing Aces (the details of his hiring were never made clear to me), and Carly is an abtakha Warrior of Clan Jade Falcon birth. How interesting that they both dispensed with their Clans' traditional rivalry and instead focused on who they each were, and not _what_ they were. Is there a lesson in that? Perhaps.

One final thought: when Star Captain Snuka returned aboard the _Arctic Paw_ , her mind buzzing with alcohol, she suggested that I try sex on the beach. I did not understand her request; how is coupling on a beach better than doing so in a bunk? I would rather not get covered with sand during a coupling session. Candace and I were certainly never tempted to try coupling at such a place.

Or am I missing a critical piece of information here? I shall never know.

I am done for this week, journal. My mind is still buzzing with this thrilling victory over our foul enemies, and for the forseeable future, my Clan shall clash with the Word of Blake again and again. My Cluster shall stand ready.


	45. Chapter 45

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,308: May 12th, 3069**

This, journal, is another audio transcript, an excerpt from the proceedings of the Clan Ghost Bear Council. It is with great satisfaction that I record these words here, and it will soon become clear why!

 **[Khan Bjorn Jorgensson]:** I see. And now, there is the matter of Star Colonel Michael Bekker's proposition. Star Colonel, if you will?

 **[Me]:** Thank you, my Khan. Fellow Warriors, surely by now you have viewed the battleROM of my victory at Mendorza in Kuritan space. I believe that this outcome is further evidence to support the cause that I advocate: to increase our Clan's military effort against the Word of Blake.

 **[general muttering]**

 **[saKhan Aletha Kabrinski]** Quiet, if you will. Star Colonel, this is far from the first time you brought this matter onto the table. I trust that you have more evidence and personal allies to support your viewpoint? Such materials will be necessary for this to go further.

 **[Me]:** Aff, my Khan. I now present the charts that my officers and I have compiled. They shall paint a broad picture that will speak louder than any words I could utter.

 **[I explain the contents of the holoprojector]**

 **[Me]:** It is clear, then, that the time has come to fully dedicate the touman's efforts to combating the Word of Blake. It is a grave threat that must be treated as such!

 **[Star Colonel Grenz Hall]:** I remind the council that Star Colonel Bekker's victory on Mendorza came at the aid of freeborn mercenaries, the Blazing Aces. He believes that his dezgra cooperation with these vermin justifies putting our entire touman, and all our Warriors, at grave risk fighting the Word of Blake!

 **[saKhan Kabrinski]:** Star Colonel Hall, you go too far! Star Colonel Bekker's joint campaign with those mercenaries was a test run of sorts, and fully endorsed by Khan Jorgensson and myself.

 **[Galaxy Commander Laurie Tseng]:** And me.

 **[Star Colonel Hall]:** One wonders at the future of Clan Ghost Bear if treating mercenaries as equals becomes the norm! What is next? Will we hire mercenaries and integrate them into the touman? Enter them into Trials of Bloodright?

 **[general muttering]**

 **[Khan Jorgensson]:** Perhaps Star Colonel Bekker can explain the implications, having fought with the mercenaries himself.

 **[Me]:** My fellow warriors, the Blazing Aces, while indeed lordless freeborns, proved useful to me. They are well-versed in Inner Sphere styles of combat, and know our enemies well. I sent dogs to do a dog's job. Even I must confess that they fought with courage and guile, which enabled my Cluster to finish the job well within the parameters of acceptable battlefield losses.

 **[Star Colonel Alexis Tseng]:** I concur with Star Colonel Bekker. The Word of Blake force on Mendorza was too tough for a Cluster to conquer in a tradtional battle. Those mercenaries' tactics created many useful openings for the 32nd to exploit. The Blazing Aces served under the 32nd, not as equals. As it should be.

 **[Me]:** I remind the council that we Ghost Bears, and many Warriors of the other Invader Clans, believe that the Word of Blake is a threat unlike any other. There is no glory or honor to be gained in fighting them! My cooperation with mercenaries cost me nothing; it was solely a matter of wiping our enemy off the map. Unusual circumstances call for unusual methods. I, too, hesitated to consider such ideas in the last few years. I, too, waited to determine the best course of action that would preserve our traditions and uphold our honor. And that method has arrived: make use of any allies we can to annihilate the Word of Blake and protect our very existence.

 **[Star Colonel Hall]:** Be careful, Star Colonel Bekker, that you do not lose what it means to be a Ghost Bear along the way.

 **[Me]:** Of course not. We face a conflict of pragmatic need. I consider my honor, and my Bloodname, untarnished. Of this, I am certain.

 **[Khan Jorgensson]:** Star Colonel Bekker, your case has been made. Now, Warriors of the council, we shall vote on the following question: is Clan Ghost Bear to fully mobilize for large-scale operations against the Word of Blake for the sake of our Clan's survival, and that of our allies? You have five minutes to register your votes.

 **[quiet as the council votes]**

 **[Khan Jorgensson]:** The votes have been tallied. There are 201 "aye" votes, 88 "nay" votes, and 13 absentions. The motion passes. Kerensky watch over us all.

 **[end transcript]**

I should note something else, journal: not long after this council session, another Bloodnamed MechWarrior, Hernov Snuka, confronted me and challenged me to a Trial of Grievance over my proposal in the council. When I asked why he did not issue a Trial of Refusal in the council session, he bitterly explained that he did not like his odds of success in such a Trial. I accepted his batchall for an unaugmented Trial of Grievance, and in a Circle of Equals, with some of my fellows and his watching us, I bested him. He sourly but honestly admitted that he shall no longer obstruct me, and that he looks forward to seeing if my risky plans bear fruit.

I shall stop there for today, journal. Such gains I have made! I very well may have changed the course of my Clan, and we shall see what the future holds!

 **Entry 1,310: May 23rd, 3069**

Today's entry shall be a short one, for there is only matter worth discussing this week. Khans Jorgensson and Kabrinski have been involved in high-level negotiations, and they have made a stunning announcement: Khan Vlad Ward of Clan Wolf has agreed to minimize raiding and other interference in the Ghost Bear Dominion, and my Khans have given him an equivilant promise. Whatever my Clan's differences with Clan Wolf, we are both Clan, and that common bond is certainly enough to bring us closer together, even if only temporarily, against the Word of Blake.

Khan Marthe Pryde of the Jade Falcons, meanwhile, also agreed to minimize inter-Clan warfare, but not for the same reasons as my Clan of the Wolves. The Jade Falcons, it would seem, are preparing for further ventures into the Lyran Alliance, and Clan Steel Viper, their long-time foes, are breathing down their necks. I have heard word that there is great tension between those two Clans back in the Homeworlds as well! Khan Pryde has a lot on her plate, and I do not envy her. But as long as the Ghost Bears do not feel the falcon's talons, it is all the same to me. For now, at least.

On that note, I shall conclude today's entry, journal. May the wisdom of the Founder guide us through this bloody year!


	46. Chapter 46

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,416: June 2nd, 3071**

I can only now gather my thoughts coherently, so I may write on this grim topic. The flames of war have fully engulfed the Clans, and we fight every day to survive the dark presence of the Word of Blake.

Rho Galaxy has suffered the most. On Indrek II, near the Dominion-Draconis Combine border, the Word of Blake tried and failed to launch a conventional assault. Then, in an act of utter depravity for which I do not have the words, the Word of Blake dropped three nuclear bombs on Ghost Bear positions. Two Clusters guarding the planet were instanty incinerated, and in the wake of this, the Word captured the planet in full.

And that is not all. Biological weapons have been unleashed on the civilian castes of the Invader Clans, an attempt to pressure our toumans to concede to the Word, or withdraw from the Inner Sphere. To use our civilians' deaths against us... it is unlike anything I have ever seen!

Here on Alshain, in the capital Silverdale, Warriors from each Cluster gathered here to mourn those we lost. Publicly, a statue of a prowling ghost bear was erected before city hall, a massive sculpture that sits on a rectangular pedestal. On that pedestal's front end, the Clan Ghost Bear logo is carved into the stone, and the names of the two lost Clusters are printed on a gold plaque. Another plaque commemorates our civilian losses in general.

We of the Ghost Bears paid public tribute to our fallen, but we were not alone. In act of goodwill and cooperation that I find rather uplifting, many of the Kuritans assembled on the city's main street, near city hall, in our name. They waved banners with our logo, they played funeral songs with a live military band, and they hung black banners on various buildings. White Japanese characters on the banners read "The people stand with Clan Ghost Bear."

How far we have come! Whether or not the civilians made these tributes was in genuine compassion for us or merely to boost our morale to protect them against the Word of Blake, I cannot fully say. But donations to the touman, and the security and police forces, have spiked. I have been watching the civilian news broadcasts in both Swedish in Japanese, and many people who spoke there voiced their support for us as well. Even schoolchildren gathered on their schools' front lawns, mainly to mourn the civilians losses, but a few schools paid tribute to us as well. It was quite a sight on the holo-screen TV to see a wide banner, with our Clan's logo crudely painted by youngsters, and messages of hope and support written all over the white canvas.

Two decades ago, this would have been unthinkable! Back then, House Kurita was desperate to be rid of us and Clan Smoke Jaguar (I certainly cannot fault them about the latter). Now, our great and wise Clan has found its new home in Kuritan and Rasalhague space, and have forged a new future together with them. Operation REVIVAL is quite far in the past by now, quiaff?

Outside city limits, and with Elementals and VTOLs keeping all civilians away from us, we of the Ghost Bear touman held our own, private tribute to our fallen comrades. We invoked rites not used for decades, and some not performed since the turn of the century. There, with ritual fires burning, we read aloud passages of _The Remembrance_ relevant to our grief. I took a turn at the podium and read thus:

 _"The Founders Jorgensson and Tseng, in all their love,_

 _had joy for the living, and the wisdom and grace_

 _to accept the inevitable passage unto death._

 _They mourned not the exit of life,_

 _but rather, celebrated their comrades as they lived,_

 _and into the funeral pyre they go,_

 _their ashes joining the dust,_

 _their spirits transcending the earth_

 _and joining the stars."_

This is passage 36, verse 12, lines 1-9 of Clan Ghost Bear's edition of _The Remembrance_ , and it was with a heavy heart, and with renewed faith in the way of the Clans, that I read those sacred words. When I finished, the crowd uttered "Seyla," as they did at the end of the other readings, and it was quite reassuring to me. I took my seat next to Carly GhostBear and she gave me a small nod of approval. That is enough for me.

It is not with a careless rage that I will next do battle with the Word of Blake, but unshakable conviction in the way of the Clan, and faith that Clan Ghost Bear shall endure all things.

On that note, I must end today's entry.


	47. Chapter 47

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,654: September 6th, 3073**

The Jihad grinds on, and although the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster enjoyed several great victories in recent months, this time, the stravag Word of Blake has us on the back foot.

Where do I write this entry? In my Cluster's forward command base, seated on my bunk while my light Trinary's 'Mechs take turns patrolling and my aerospace fighters scour the skies for any hint of Word activity. I am still here on Ikutami, just two jumps into Kuritan space. Unfortunately, I cannot yet complete Theodore Kurita's request to remove the Word of Blake presence in this theater of war. Until I do, he cannot deliver the reinforcements and supplies that he promised to Clan Ghost Bear! And my Clan certainly needs all those materials!

Should a part of me curse Theodore Kurita for convincing Galaxy Commander Laurie Tseng to accept this deal for our realms' mutual benefit? Probably not. But is difficult to feel well toward House Kurita while my Cluster is threatened with destruction here on this mission that Theodore's generals thought up!

At first, this assault on Ikutami seemed routine. My aerospace assets scouted the Word's positions carefully for several days, and then my Cluster cautiously advanced on the Word, which was a Level III unit strong. When the perfect opportunity arose, we struck with the bear's fury! Our strategy was working... until another Level III unit arrived, one that was no doubt meant to cut us off and surround us.

I can take some satisfaction in reporting that the 32nd dealt serious damage to the first Level III unit, much more than we received from them in return. But when the Word's combat strength doubled, we drew back at once, and now, we are at a standoff while the numerically superior Word of Blake forces patrol the area, searching for any weakness on our part. Freebirth! I signaled for reinforcements right away, but they may not arrive in time, and even if they do, their arrival may tip off the Word of Blake to send even even more troops.

My Warriors follow my orders with faith and devotion to me, but they can sense my unease, and it may chip away at their morale. If I am not careful here, my unit may face an early demise. I must find a way.

That is all for today.

 **Entry 1,655: September 14th, 3073**

The battle is over, journal. During the standoff, I was far too tense, and too preoccupied, to write. But now, safe behind friendly lines, I may once again write an entry.

How did my unit survive? House Steiner. It would seem that the Archon shares the general sentiment of cooperation and mutual interest against the Word of Blake and the chaos of the Inner Sphere, and old rivalries were set aside to arrange this rescue. Who are my saviors? An elite battalion of the LAAF, one that answers directly to the Archon, by what I was told. It is the Striking Tigers Battalion.

Of course, this is not without conditions. The Archon, and the LAAF generals, expect compensation from my Clan and House Kurita, but those negotiations are being saved for a future time. For now, I am more interested in repairing and refitting my Cluster, and keeping watch on the Ghost Bear Dominion's borders.

Both the Striking Tigers and my Cluster landed on a moon, whose repair facilities are considered neutral to all who need them (save the Word of Blake). There, while our units were being repaired and refitted, I had an opportunity to bring my officers and meet our circumstantial allies.

What a peculiar unit I met. This battalion operates independently from the body of the LAAF, and often undertakes high-risk, specialized missions, often far from the Lyran Alliance's heartland. In some ways, the unit acts on House Steiner's behalf in other realms, in order to foster goodwill and earn favors from others. One could even call them well-armed ambassadors! At least, this is how the Kommandant in command of the unit phrased it. Who is he? Kommandant Ras Conrad Farlow is a young leader, by Inner Sphere standards. But his grasp of military doctrine and solid, and his charisma and faith in others clearly made him command material. He assumed command from the previous CO only recently, and his mission to Ikutami was one of his first as a commander.

I quickly sized up his other fellows. One who stood out to me was a woman roughly my age, Hauptmann Allison Skyllia, who reminded me of Candace, though without the animalistic savagery. She commands a company, the middle-weight company in the battalion. Her two fellows, Darchin Gulamar and Xavier Garfield, did not make as much as an impression, though at least I did not sense any weakness or fear in them, not even in the face of hardened Clan officers like me.

It would seem, too, that the LAAF sometimes has a Ghost Bear-like fondness for family. You will hardly believe this, journal... Kommandant Ras Farlow's blood brother, Lane Sirius Farlow, commands a lance in Hauptmann Skyllia's company. He is the junior brother, but I could see the same burning spirit inside him. He seems relatively untested, and Kommandant Farlow confirmed that his brother had graduated from a MechWarrior academy only last year. But there is more: the Striking Tigers Battalion uses several Clan OmniMechs as isorla. Both Farlow brothers pilot _Timberwolf_ s, according to the profile data I was given, and there is a _Shadow Cat_ prime and a _Cougar_ prime in the battalion as well. These were salvaged years ago from battles against Clan Jade Falcon, apparently, and these OmniMechs have seen much battle since.

Whatever it takes to stop the Word of Blake.

Kommandant Farlow is not content merely to rescue my Cluster from the Word and liberate Ikatami, however. he proposed another joint operation to further push back the Word of Blake from the general area, everywhere from the Dominion to the Free Rasalhague Republic to the Lyran Alliance, right where these realms meet. Quite the proposal! I am tempted, though. Why not have House Steiner assume some of the burden of driving the Word of Blake back? Houses Kurita and Steiner are not my enemies, and though I resent the debt this will create to both of them, the martial assistance is much needed.

And this would give me another chance to study the peculiar but fascinating Striking Tigers Battalion. Will a deal be struck so we may fight together once again? I shall let you know, yournal, in the coming weeks.

That is all for this week.


	48. Chapter 48

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,657: September 27th, 3073**

The LAAF's intelligence network is clearly not something to be underestimated, journal. My Cluster's own intelligence team, and that of the Striking Tigers, worked together for nearly two weeks now to determine best how to dismantle and negate the Word of Blake military presence in this region of the Inner Sphere, and at last, we are near a solution. May the Word's dezgra legions tremble!

I have heard, on multiple occasions, that Lyrans are businessmen first, and warriors second. Even I know that a businessman must know the terrain of his craft, and the LAAF's upper brass has provided the Striking Tigers' intelligence team with much-needed data as a starting point. I met these people in person to judge them with my own eyes when I had a spare moment. I was warmly greeted by a young woman named Sayuri Miyagi, and she assures me that within 72 hours, she and her subordinates will have a plan ready for us. She said this with professional calm and certainty, traits that I admire in any person. No fear or doubt in her; only conviction.

Assured by this, I left the intelligence officers' quarters here on this moon's base, and not long after that, Kommandant Ras Farlow found me, and requested a simulator battle. (I suspect that he sought me out, actually.) With little else to occupy me, I agreed, and I chose three Warriors from my Cluster, including Carly GhostBear, for my team. Not quite a complete Star; I wanted a level playing field against whatever lance of 'Mechs that Kommandant Farlow brought to bear againt me on the virtual battlefield.

Stravag! I have not used a simulator in many years, and it took some getting used to. Clan trainers use live-fire exercises for a reason. In a simulator, you know, in the back of your mind, that you are safe, and that you can fight again regardless of what happens in the virtual battle. No doubt this affects your psyche and your performance. Only by putting your real body, and a real machine on the line, can you truly test yourself.

But I am a Bloodnamed officer of the Ghost Bear touman. What else do I have to prove?

So, I chose Carly GhostBear (in her usual _Nova_ prime), along with Star Commander Ellen Bekker (piloting her _Mad Dog_ prime) and Star Captain Aleksei Tseng (in his _Stormcrow_ prime) to form my "lance". I chose my usual _Warhawk_ -C for the battle, the largest 'Mech in my lance. This would probably make me a target, but I was confident that I could handle that situation. Then, the sim battle launched. The computers calculated a temperate world with average gravity and comfortable temperatures, but clouds were gathering in the sky, threatening rain. If the battle dragged on, visibility would drop, and a wind was picking up. What were we do to; hastily assault Kommandant Farlow's lance to win during ideal conditions, or use the poor weather later to mask ourselves? The answer was clear; a quick attack! Hiding and using dirty tricks is befitting barbarians, not the likes of us!

It did not take long to encounter Kommandant Farlow's lance from long range. I picked up his _Timberwolf_ prime on long-range scanners 900 meters out, and with him marched two _Black Knight_ 'Mechs (an energy-based heavy 'Mech) and a _Catapult_. Once Kommandant Farlow's lance detected us, they made a mad rush for us, chipping away at our four 'Mechs with PPC and LRM fire. I returned fire as best I could with my ER PPCs, and I relieved one _Black Knight_ of its arm, and Star Captain Bekker's LRMs heavily damaged Kommandant Farlow's 'Mech.

Then the battle of attrition started. Kommandant Farlow seemed satisfied with the damage his lance had dealt to mine, so he started using raid-based tactics, using mobility and cover to keep my own lance on edge. Freebirth, those Lyrans know how to move! They disproved a common joke that the Lyrans rely solely on assault 'Mechs for success at the expense of proper tactics and courage. For a time, the enemy lance dealt much more damage than it received, and the psychological toll was mounting in my lance.

Finally, however, I figured out the pattern to Kommandant Farlow's tactics and cornered his lance near the base of a mountain, just as simulated rain was starting to fall. Such a direct confrontation favored my lance, and we finally slew our opponents in a proper melee. None of my 'Mechs fell, but we did sustain heavy damage, and one more exchange of fire would have taken both Star Captain Carly and Star Captain Aleksei Tseng out of the battle. I personally defeated Kommandant Farlow in battle, and it was with great satisfaction that his _Timberwolf_ crumpled into wreckage by my hand.

Afterwards, both teams greeted each other in person, congratulating everyone on a battle well fought. There is little doubt that feeling the flames of battle together swept away what remaining unsease or distance stood between the 32nd and the Striking Tigers. Kommandant Farlow shook my hand, humbly and politely praising my "astounding" battlefield expertise. I, too, felt compelled to laud his performance. What my lance faced was not the feeble, frightened barbarian resistance that the Clans faced during Operation REVIVAL! That gap has no doubt been narrowed to a great degree.

Another little surprise: Kommandant Farlow's brother, Leftenant Lane Farlow, had been an observer, so he may study and better prepare his lance for future conflict. An amused part of my mind wonders if Kommandant Farlow secretly hoped that his little brother could watch him defeat Clanners head-to-head. Well, we are not so easily subdued! All the same, Leftenant Lane Farlow saluted me from a distance, and I saw admiration and awe in the boy's eyes. Good; he is ready to learn, as are his lancemates, that quiet Kuritan, the quieter girl, and the even quieter brunet boy. It would seem that Leftenant Farlow is the spirited one in his lance. Alternatively, his lancemates simply fear me.

I will write no more. The next handful of days may be quiet ones, unless the Word of Blake launches a surprise attack somewhere in this theater of war. Otherwise, I shall certainly write again when our next move is ready to launch.

*o*o*o*o*

 **Entry 1,658: October 3rd, 3073**

This entry shall be a short one, journal, for there is one important thing I wish to write about today: our combined intelligence teams have determined how best to strike back at the Word of Blake. Sayuri Miyagi of the Striking Tigers presented her data, and Kommandant Farlow and I formulated our plan. We shall soon brief our respective troops for the coming conflict.

In short, we are to assault and capture the planet Yamashina, two jumps from the Ghost Bear Dominion, toward Terra. The Word has a small but well-stocked shipyard there and repair facilities, as well as major bases on the planet's continents. This world even acts as a supply hub for the Word's forces within four jumps. Taking it will force the Word to retreat much further back from the Ghost Bear Dominion.

We are not to take this world alone. The full strength of the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster and the Striking Tigers shall comprise the assault force, but for backup, we shall have the 5th Bear Guards of Omega Galaxy. It is an excellent unit; Omega Galaxy as a whole is intended in particular to fight armies of the Inner Sphere with their own tactics, and the 5th is a reliable and hard-hitting unit. I am glad to have them alongside us, and their DropShips will arrive in-system within a few days, latched to the WarShip _Arctic Beast_. This WarShip, and its aerospace fighters and the pocket WarShips escorting it, shall assault the Word's naval assets at Yamashina, and then the two Clusters and battalion will capture the planet.

One more note: Kommandant Farlow informed me that the Striking Tigers also have a WarShip, an _Aegis-_ class cruiser named _King Arthur_ , but that vessel is currently undergoing repairs and cannot assist us. For this operation, the Striking Tigers will use a regular JumpShip, the _Baldur._

May the Founder's spirit watch over us all.


	49. Chapter 49

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,659: October 14th, 3073**

I write this in my quarters aboard the WarShip _Arctic Beast_ , and it is with great relish that I report our success.

Success in the first stage of liberating Yamashina from Word of Blake control, that is. I personally had no hand in this phase, but Star Commodore Steven Gilmour of the _Arctic Beast_ gave me a thorough report of the naval battle that took place earlier (upon my request).

Alas, I did not have a clear view of the conflict with my own two eyes; what a sight it must have been! I can only relay the technical details. Two smaller Word of Blake WarShips, and a handful of aerospace fighters, defended the shipyards orbiting Yamashina, and they seemed totally unprepared for a frontal assault, given the state of affairs in this theater of war. Good; that gives Clan Ghost Bear an advantage, one that Star Commodore Gilmour took advantage of with a predator's instincts. The _Arctic Beast_ arrived without any mishaps at the zenith recharge point in this system's star, and the Striking Tigers' JumpShip, the _Baldur_ , joined us there, but it stayed near the star and thus out of harm's way.

By what Star Commodore Gilmour told me, and from the report's details, the Word fought back with gusto, and I could certainly feel the _Arctic Beast_ shudder with various impacts. What a sensation! Thrilling, in a way, and also terrifying. My Clan's navy has never been impressive, but my Clan's intelligence network, and that of the LAAF, ensured that this battle would go our way. Although the _Arctic Beast_ suffered some damage, nothing serious was breached, and aerospace losses were considerable but still acceptable.

As I stated earlier, phase one of Yamashina's liberation is complete right on schedule, and I can feel the momentum of our operation building. Morale is high, and all of our 'Mechs and Elemental suits are in top shape and ready for ground operations. There has even been some friendly banter between my Cluster and the Striking Tigers, wagering to see who shall slay more Word of Blake fanatics groundside. In fact, one of the Striking Tigers' most senior MechWarriors, an older man named Zack Mackenzie, actually bet two vacation houses (two!) on Solaris VII that he would outshoot anyone in the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster. What has me curious is how anyone in my Cluster could pay him should we accept that bet and lose it. Another elder Striking Tigers MechWarrior, a Capellan named Chen Yeung, wondered much the same thing, and Zack Mackenzie only responded with a taunt. It seems that the two of them have a sort of friendly rivalry. As long as their antics do not interfere with the mission, then so be it.

The 5th Bear Guards, meanwhile, were content to stay quiet and allow my Cluster and the Lyrans to exchange bets and personal challenges as we saw fit. Whatever keeps morale up, and spurs us to greater heights, I shall accept. After all, it is only the Word of Blake that shall suffer for it.

I will write again once I am planetside.

 **Entry 1,660: October 18th, 3073**

As I have done over the years, journal, I write in you now in a forward base of operations. But some of the intitial glow of this operation has faded, and we are embroiled in a battle for our lives.

I should have expected this, quiaff? Well, my earlier entries did not quite capture my anticipation for setbacks. I have certainly not given up hope, however! The operation started smoothly; the _Arctic Paw_ , my DropShip, landed right on the hilly plains on target, and the 5th Bear Guards' own DropShip landed nearby, as did the _Union_ -class ships of the Striking Tigers. The Word was ready for us, however, and we sustained considerable losses in order to hold our landing zone securely. We dealt the Word some losses in exchange before they withdrew, but I feel that a battle of attrition will not go in my favor.

I visited the 5th Bear Guards' base to check in with their Star Colonel, then visited the forward base of the Striking Tigers. Morale was stronger there, and when I asked how they kept their spirits so high, Kommandant Farlow told me that he had viewed every news bit about Word attacks on civilian targets throughout the Lyran Alliance. Rather than breaking his will, the collective brutality on his kin made him aware that he had no right to falter when he had so many lives to avenge. And so many still alive to protect from such horrors. Quite the perspective! The Word's dezgra tactics had the opposite of the intended effect on the Striking Tigers, and I returned to my own forward base with my spirits elevated. I shared Kommandant Farlow's perspective with my officers, and they agreed that the lower castes of the Ghost Bear Dominion needed their Warrior superiors more than ever. We are the guides, the leaders, and defenders of the lower castes. Now, we must live up to that responsibility and never waver for a single second!

To that end, we have our work cut out for us. The Word controls several major cities nearby, their forces well dug-in. They have aerospace patrols everywhere, making covert operations difficult to plan. The aerospace forces of my Cluster and the 5th Bear Guards have scouted as much terrain as safely possible, and by their reports, there may be a Shadow Division presence here, but we cannot say for certain at this time. Stravag! The Manei Domini, here? I had hoped to avoid such a confrontation if possible. The conventional Word forces here will be a handful as is; Shadow Division reinforcements shall make this a serious challenge. Not that I intend to back off, though. For one thing, the Striking Tigers have thorough experience and knowledge of the Word's various forces, both from their own experience and intel from the rest of the LAAF. Kommandant Farlow already sent me some files to that effect, and my officers and I are still studying them.

What else can I report? Hmmmmmmm... not a lot. Yamashina has moderate gravity, and we seem to be in the middle of spring. My aerospace forces have spotted a number of towns and industrial centers radiating from the nearby cities, but there seems to be no activity in any of them. Did the Word massacre the civilians at any point? Or did the civilians have time to flee? Intel from this region of space is difficult to come by, and I do not know what has happened to most of the locals. I can only hope that they do not suffer any collateral damage during this campaign.

On a more humorous note, I am fairly sure, but not certain, that MechWarrior Zack Mackenzie suggested the name "Operation KICK-SOME-ASS" for the groundside campaign while I visited the Striking Tigers' forward base.

His spirits are certainly high, at any rate.

I will stop there for today, journal. Some gains have been made, but Yamashina is still far from free. I will record more of the campaign's progress whenever I can.


	50. Chapter 50

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Entry 1,661: October 22nd, 3073**

We have suffered losses today, journal, all of us. The ground is littered with ruined 'Mechs and the bodies of the fallen from both sides of the campaign, but still, we endure.

Kommandant Farlow and I determined an effective first strike to push further into Word of Blake territory and liberate the cities. Fortunately for us, the Word is spread thin, so even with their considerable numerical advanage, we can take out certain outposts and entrenched positions. But the costs! By the Founder, we must find total victory soon, or the Word may eject us from Yamashina.

Earlier this morning, our ground operation started well. Aerospace fighters from my Cluster and the Striking Tigers attracted the Word's attention and drew away most of their aerial assets to another area of operations as a ruse. No doubt that the Word's leaders would soon realize our ploy, so all three units on my side advanced quickly to a small city named Kago Port, and we engaged a Level III unit there and two Level II's.

We advanced slowly but surely into the city, and we fought off many enemy 'Mechs, tanks, and anti-'Mech infantry units in the city limits. My allies minimized collatoral damage, but the Word had no such restraint, and I shudder to recall the losses to civilian infrastructure. But still, I could not let that stop me. The 32nd, the 5th Bear Guards, and the Striking Tigers finally cleared the city, and my Elemental Binary swept the streets and buildings to clear out all the traps and hidden infantry units that the Word had hidden in various places. I am glad that Star Captain Karlos DelVillar and his Elemental fellows completed this job so quickly; otherwise, we may have suffered even greater losses!

By late afternoon, however, the tide turned against us. We all advanced to a large Word supply depot down the highway a few miles from Kago Port, but we ran into heavier resistance than expected, including aerial assets! Various Word aerospace fighters and VTOLs strafed us and forced us back, and we failed to capture the supply depot. Our own aerospace assets are back in position to cover us, but for now, we have run into a steel wall of resistance whenever we venture further than Kago Port's city limits. Stravag! We made a clean, strategic gain with that city, but if we cannot go further, it will mean little. Our supply lines are thinning, while the Word has ample stockpiles. It is possible that they will indeed bleed us dry and force a retreat back to our waiting DropShips.

Our spirit is not broken, however. Certainly not! Kommandant Farlow and I are once again considering our options, making use of the intel that our aerospace assets gather for us. It is now close to midnight, and the Kommandant and I have exchanged a few tentative ideas between ourselves and our officers. Surely a sound strategy will emerge, quiaff? Our Warriors arrived here to retake this planet... and we shall not leave without doing so!

I must stop there for now. May Kerensky's spirit watch over us.

 **Entry 1,662: October 31st, 3073**

It is not a perfect plan, but it is a tentative start. We are in this continent's wet season, and strong thunderstorms have been brewing over the past few days, and now, as I write this near noon today, the sky is dark and the air is thick with rain and lightning. Visibility is poor... but that is an asset! Even scanners will have problems in all this. Fortunately for Kommandant Farlow and I, our aerospace assets provided strategic intel on the Word of Blake's positions, and our data is only two hours old. We must act quickly before it becomes too out-of-date.

There is some excitement growing within my Cluster, and the 5th Bear Guards and the Striking Tigers. If we outmaneuver the Word of Blake forces in this massive storm, we can get ourselves into a superior position using the local terrain, and we can fight the numerous Word of Blake units on our own terms and gain a solid advantage. Kommandant Farlow, the 5th's Star Colonel, and I are been over the maps over and over in our briefing rooms, and we met several times to share new ideas. At last, we have our best chances for victory yet.

I must hurry to finish this entry, though. I am seated here on a crate in the 'Mech bay here in Kago Port's eastern city limits, and already, many of my Warriors are marching out and getting into formation with their Stars. There are some gaps in our formations... but those of us who remain shall stand strong! I can also see the 5th Bear Guards' 'Mechs assembling further down the road, along with some of Kommandant Farlow's 'Mechs. Those orange and black-striped paint jobs are quite distinctive, and at first, I had found them garish... but I appreciate the tiger aesthetic. At least Farlow's soldiers' spirits match a tiger's prowess.

Now, I shall certainly write again when I have news of victory! We shall move fast, elude the enemy, and, when the times comes, hit the Word hard, like a hammer blow. Our patience is about to pay off, and we shall soak Yamashina's soil with the hot blood of the Word's fanatical crusaders!

On that note, I shall end today's entry. I know, it is rather short, but I can wait no longer. My _Warhawk_ -C awaits. I must answer the call to battle. Until next week.


	51. Epilogue

**The Journal of Michael Bekker**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **[/start file]**

 **[File name: "The Journal of Star Colonel Michael Bekker"]**

 **[date of upload: November 14th, 3073]**

 **[personal notes of Galaxy Commander Laurie Tseng]**

My work is finally done! It was a tedious, but important, job of copying all of the data within Star Colonel Michael Bekker's journal into this database here on Alshain. I, Galaxy Commander Laurie Tseng of Beta Galaxy, shall be the steward of this journal's details until the end of all that is.

Star Colonel Michael Bekker's personal logs date back to the spring of 3044, begun on Arcadia in the Pentagon Worlds, and ended on war-torn Yamashina, in the Draconis Combine during October 3073. That is 29 years of data, with entries from every week during that time frame. What is the significance of this? Star Colonel Michael Bekker's journal is an uncensored account of what it means to be a trueborn of Clan Ghost Bear, mightiest of the Clans, during some of our Clan's most defining years! The Star Colonel's accounts span the years leading up to Operation REVIVAL, the invasion itself, living in the truce of Tukayyid, the formation of the Ghost Bear Dominion and the exodus from the Homeworlds, and even some accounts of the Refusal War and FedCom Civil War. And, of course, the Word of Blake Jihad, which is ongoing as of this writing.

I should note that Star Colonel Michael Bekker's body was retrieved when his _Warhawk-_ C was destroyed in combat during fighting on October 31st, 3073, on Yamashina. He would have been pleased to know that his, and Kommandant Ras Farlow's, plan to outmaneuver the Word of Blake in a heavy thunderstorm worked to great effect, and it allowed the 32nd Bears Assault Cluster, 5th Bear Guards, and Striking Tigers Battalion (of the LAAF) to claim victory on Yamashina on November 6th of that year. The 32nd suffered a partial loss of morale, according to records, but under the leadership of the 5th Bear Guards and the Star Captains of the 32nd, the unit remained cohesive long enough to survive the remainder of the campaign.

No doubt that for many years to come, scholars of Clan Ghost Bear, House Kurita, and others may wish to study the journal of Michael Bekker, and its contents are free for persual. I, as Loremaster, am the steward of this information. It is my solemn duty that it is used for the enrichment of the reader and his/her understanding of Inner Sphere life and warfare. Already, I am aware of the possibility of Star Colonel Michael Bekker earning a few lines in _The Remembrance_ for his contribution to our understanding of our Clan and ourselves.

I can say little more in this addendum. It is my sincere hope that the contents herein shall be enlightening to one and many.

 **[/end file]**


	52. Unit TRO list

**A/N:** For those interested, here's a composition list of the major units involved in **_The Journal of Michael Bekker_**. The Blazing Aces Mercenary group belongs to fellow author **RougeBaron**.

 **Striking Tigers Battalion**

Faction: Lyran Alliance Armed Forces

CO: Kommandant Ras Farlow, 3073-3074, Kommandant Allison Skyllia, 3074-3092

Other officers: Hauptmann Xavier Garfield (Alpha Company, 3073), Hauptmann Allison Skyllia (Beta Company, 3073), Hauptmann Darchin Gulamar (Delta Company, 3073)

Support staff: Bellany Murcha (technician), Cassandra Goyua (technician), Sayuri Miyagui (computer and intelligence expert)

Notes: Answers only to the Archon of the Lyran Alliance. Sent on high-risk missions across the Lyran Alliance and to allied nations. Makes use of many heavy 'Mechs. Officers of the Striking Tigers often hand-pick new recruits and support staff members.

 **Blazing Aces Mercenaries**

Faction: MRBC

CO: Trystan Vandenburg (BattleMech command company, 3073), Vicky Lantham (air support company, 3073), Osiris (infantry company, 3073)

Other officers: Ronan O'Reilly (BattleMech company's scout lance), Caelia Vandenburg (Battlemech company's fire support lanace)

Notes: A mixed unit battalion of one BattleMech company, one aerospace company, and one infantry company. Unlike Trystan, Caelia is free-spirited and impulsive. Trystan suffered personal losses and conflicts within the battalion until attaining mental balance and authority.

 **32nd Bears Assault Cluster TRO, 3070-3073**

Unit strength: 3 OmniMech Trinaries, 1 Elemental Binary, 1 aerospace Binary, Command Star

Naval assets: 1 _Overlord_ -C Dropship (nickname: _Arctic Paw_ )

 **CO:** Star Colonel Michael Bekker ( _Warhawk_ -C [nickname: _Ursa Avenger_ ])

 **Light 'Mech Trinary commander:** Star Captain Aleksei Tseng ( _Stormcrow_ -p)

Star 2 commander: Star Commander Theresa ( _Viper_ prime)

Star 3 commander: Star Commander Ursino ( _Viper_ -A)

 **Medium 'Mech Trinary commander:** Star Captain Carly GhostBear ( _Nova_ )

Star 2 commander: Star Commander Anton Tseng ( _Hellbringer_ prime)

Star 3 commander: Star Commander Ellen Bekker ( _Mad Dog_ prime)

 **Assault 'Mech Trinary commander:** Star Captain Jeremy Gurdel ( _Warhawk_ -A)

Star 2 commander: Star Commander Drenn ( _Kodiak_ prime)

Star 3 commander: Star Commander Natalie ( _Warhammer IIC_ prime)

 **Elemental Binary commander:** Star Captain Karlos DelVillar

Star 2 commander: Star Commander Jared

 **Aerospace Binary commander:** Star Captain Kelly Snuka

Star 2 commander: Star Commander Xavier


End file.
